Choices
by SableUnstable
Summary: Imprinting is a messy and complicated business, the path sometimes rocky and the happy ending not always guaranteed. How will Leah handle fate handing her her own mess to deal with, especially when the other half of the mess is not only not part of the tribe, but also just a kid? Leah/Embry, Leah/OC, rated M for language, violence and adult content.
1. Chapter 1

**Choices**

Disclaimer: The Twilight Franchise does not belong to me. Poobum.

**Chapter One**

* * *

Nathaniel Green was nine years old when Leah Clearwater imprinted on him. Though years had passed since then, she still remembered it like it was yesterday, and she still wished with all her heart that it had never happened. Unfortunately, fate has its own plans, so Leah walked into Emily's house for Claire's tenth birthday party that day, none the wiser that her world was about to be flipped on its head for the second time in her life.

She didn't want to be there. Her pack had come home for a while since Jake and the others were missing everyone, and although her bitterness and anger had settled with time and distance, it had only settled slightly. By then, she could go to joint pack events such as this one without visibly showing how much she didn't want to attend, but that didn't mean that it still didn't grate at her.

Still didn't point out to her exactly what her cousin had that she didn't.

Her face was calm as she'd walked in the door, none of her reluctance showing on it. One thing she had learnt while she was away was to control her temper, and it now took quite a lot to get her riled up. Funnily enough, the leeches had helped her with that, the blond Barbie the one who had initially reached out with the offer to help her learn. She smiled slightly as she walked through the empty house and into the kitchen, putting her mom's potato bake in the fridge with the rest of food. They'd been sort of friends, her and Rosalie, since the first time the bloodsucker had intentionally insulted her and Leah hadn't burst into a great, hulking wolf. Didn't mean they _liked_ each other, but their tolerance had certainly improved.

As the sound of the party drifted through the open window, Leah headed out the screen door into a jam-packed back yard. The noise escalated as she stepped out onto the porch and disapproval trickled through her at the variety of the attendees. Not only were Claire's family there, pack included, but Jake's Nessie was there as well, along with a handful of Claire's friends from school.

Shifters and half-breeds and humans, all mingling together. Leah didn't like it at all. There was too much potential of something happening, something going wrong, and then where would they be? Those kids had no clue about the hidden part of Claire's life, and if things took a turn, they'd have a fuck load of explaining to do. But of course, no one had listened to her when she'd pointed that out. They never did.

Claire wanted them all together, and Quil did his best to give Claire whatever she wanted. That was the nature of the imprint. She snorted at that thought, stepping off the porch and striding into the fray. She seriously hoped that she never ended up that whipped.

Unbeknownst to her, the one person who could do that very thing had just arrived, though she wouldn't see him until a good hour later. By then, she'd had enough of lovey dovey family bullshit and was leaning back against a tree at the edge of the forest, hand resting on her stomach. She'd done her duty, wished the guest of honour happy birthday and chatted with her pack mates until her brain had turned to mush. Sighing to herself, she wondered when it would be considered late enough to allow her to hit the road. Both Jake and Sam would be pissed if she left too early.

Maybe she could pull the sickness card? She was feeling sort of weird, like there was something pulling at her gut, making her feel hollow.

An angry yell rang across the yard before she could dwell on it further, and her head whipped round, as did every other member of the packs. Over by the garden a boy on the ground, hand over his nose as another boy stood over him with his fists clenched. The kid standing was all but vibrating with anger, a mutinous snarl pulling at his mouth. People were quickly approaching the pair and the boy's head shot up, much like a wolf scenting prey. His head shifted minutely in her direction and Leah saw his eyes for the first time.

Her world imploded.

It was as if the earth trembled. Her knees gave out as her insides shook, and in a snapshot she was bound and tied, hooked through her centre, all other ties cut and reformed to focus solely on the angry little boy standing twenty feet away from her. Her breath caught in her throat, heart pounding so rapidly that she thought she was going to pass out. A deep, foreign warmth swarmed up in her belly and headed straight for her slamming heart, detonating inside her ribcage and then reaching out towards the boy, wanting, _needing_ to be near him, to make sure he was okay, to make him happy. It was complete and final, horrifyingly heavy, and she was drowning in it.

Sam had once described imprinting as gravity no longer being the thing binding him to the earth. For the first time, Leah actually understood what he was talking about.

While her existence turned in on itself, the scene on the other side of the yard continued on as if nothing had happened. The boy on the ground pulled himself to his feet, removing his hand to show blood dripping down his chin. His mouth pulled into a snarl of its own and he lunged for the one who had punched him.

Leah moved faster than she ever had in her life.

Though the wolves surrounding the two could have stopped the attack in time, protecting her imprint was instinctual, and she was across the yard in a heartbeat, crouching down defensively in front of the boy, growling at the enemy who was now hers as well. Her limbs shook and for the first time in about two years, Leah found herself in danger of transforming out of anger.

The absolute _shock_ on her pack mate's faces would have amused her if she'd been able to think straight, shock that had grown vastly as she'd herded the boy behind her backwards until he was pressed against a tree, Leah covering him from all angles. A vicious snarl ripped from her throat, claws digging into her palms and saliva sliding down her chin as her teeth sharpened and lengthened. Her eyes flicked from one corner of the yard to the next, looking for any and all danger, before finally settling to watch Jacob approach cautiously, hands held out in front of him, his voice a muted buzz in her ears. She was well and truly sunk in the imprint's pull on her wolf, and it wasn't until she accidentally brushed against the boy and felt him trembling that her Alpha's words broke through her protective haze.

"Leah, you're scaring him."

Just like that, her fury died, cut off at the root. The wolf pulled back inside her skin and she stilled, slowly getting to her feet, eyes turning to the boy behind her. As soon as she did, his fear hit her right in the nose, nearly bringing her to her knees again. He was cringing back against the trunk, bottom lip trembling as he tried to pull further away from her, eyes so lightly blue they looked like ice, wide and blank. His hands were scrambling for purchase on the bark and he looked like an animal who knew it was being hunted.

He looked like an animal who'd excepted its fate.

She'd frightened him.

She'd _terrified_ him.

Her wolf howled inside her mind and Leah did the only thing she could do. She bolted.

~0~

Her Alpha came to see her three days later. She was sitting on her mother's back porch, trying to fight the urge to go see him, to make sure he was all right when Jacob stepped out of the forest and walked towards her. He didn't say anything, just took a seat, and Leah had to fight another urge.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd ever wanted to know a name so much.

"So…" Jake finally said, shifting in his seat to look at her. "Tough couple of days, huh?"

"Not really," she deadpanned, eyes on the backyard. "Box of birds when you think about it."

Her Alpha chuckled and then sighed, running his hand through his scruffy hair.

"I'm sorry, Leah."

His Beta frowned. "What for?" she asked as she turned to him. "It's not your fault."

"No, but I know how you feel about imprinting and I know that this is the last thing you wanted. If I could reverse it, I would."

Leah snorted bitterly. "Yeah, that's never going to happen. I'm stuck with this and I better get used to it."

"It's not all bad, you know," Jake said softly. "Imprinting can be a very good thing if you let it."

"Oh, yeah, Jake, for you and your vamp maybe, but not for someone who's imprint is a kid who's fucking scared shitless of her!" Leah snapped, glaring at the man. "I terrified him! He'll never want to know me now!"

"What you did was instinctive and influenced highly by the stress and shock of a newly formed imprint," Jake said, the conviction in his tone absolute. "That kid was going to attack Nate, he'd already done it anyway-"

"Nate?" Leah blurted, interrupting him. "That's his name?"

Jacob blinked a couple of times and then smiled, shaking his head. "Of course you wouldn't know. Yeah, that's his name. Nathaniel Green. He's a friend of Claire's from that youth centre in Port Angeles that Emily takes her to once a week. I don't know much more about him, but from what I've heard, he doesn't, ah…"

"Doesn't _what_, Jake?" Leah asked when he trailed off and looked uncomfortable.

"Well, there's, ah, there's speculation that he doesn't have a very good home life. That his father may be…"

"Violent?"

"Yeah," Jake answered, eyeing her carefully. "That may be the reason why he was so scared, you know. Any show of violence would frighten him."

"He didn't seem to have any trouble with his own violence," Leah said, voice deceptively calm. Inside her head, she was screaming. The thought of anyone laying their hands on her imprint… the cunt was a dead man.

Jake shrugged, still watching her. "Common way to lash out, apparently. From what I heard, the kid that he punched was being a little shithead and saying some pretty nasty things."

"He was fucking lucky I didn't tear him apart," Leah muttered, glaring into the yard again. Her skin itched with anger, which was very off putting. She'd thought she'd stopped herself from reacting this way, or at least controlled it more. That control was now slipping through her fingers and she did not like it.

"Yeah, he is," Jake agreed quietly. "So, you going to go see him? Nate, I mean, not the little shithead."

Leah looked at him in disbelief. "Why would I do that, Jacob?"

"Because he's your imprint, Leah."

"Who'll shake in his shoes when he sees me!"

"Jesus, Lee," Jake groaned. "I'll admit it wasn't the best first impression, but you can change that! He needs you as much as you need him. Don't tell me you haven't felt the absence already."

Hand automatically going to her chest at those words, Leah rubbed the dull, achy emptiness that had begun to spread through it the night before, the hook in her centre's constant pulling not making it any easier to put up with. Jacob smirked when he saw the movement, making her scowl and quickly lower her hand.

"See? He'll probably feel it as well, though he won't understand it like you do. You'll be doing him a favour by going to see him. You know you can't fight an imprint, Leah, so why are you even trying?"

The she-wolf sighed and turned towards her Alpha fully, frustration bubbling inside her. There was one thing he hadn't seemed to have taken into account.

"Jake, he's a kid."

Jacob cocked his head and waited for her to continue, before realizing that that was all she was going to say. His brow pulled down into a confused frown. "So?"

"So? _So?_ Jacob, I imprinted on a fucking _little_ _boy!_" Leah growled. "He can't be more than ten years old! What am I supposed to do with that? I'm not a paedophile, for fuck's sake!"

"What? No, of course you're not, what the hell are you talking about? You _know_ that the imprint isn't only romantic, Leah! Look at Quil, Christ, look at me! I _never_ felt that way for Ness when she was a kid! That would have been disgusting and just plain wrong! How can you possibly think that that's what the imprint means for you?"

Sitting back under the onslaught, Leah blinked in surprise. Well, well, seems she'd hit a bit of a nerve. Who had Jake been butting heads with over imprinting on a baby? The only people she could think of you'd renew protesting now that Renesmee had grown up was the mind freak bloodsucker and his doormat of a wife, and lord knew where they were at the moment.

"Yes, but it's always developed into a physical and emotional relationship, hasn't it?" she countered, ignoring his issues for the moment. "There's you and the brat-"

"Nessie," Jacob corrected sternly.

"The brat," she agreed and then continued as if he hadn't even spoken. Jake sighed and shook his head. "Sam and Emily-"

"How is that developing into a physical and emotional relationship?" Jake interrupted. "They weren't friends first!"

"I'm well aware of what they were and what they weren't, Jacob," Leah said dryly, smiling slightly when he winced. "But he could have decided to just be her friend, couldn't he? The imprint will be whatever the imprintee needs. Yours and mine and Quil's fucked up bonds must prove that, as none of us are kiddie fiddlers."

Jacob grimaced and then looked at her, hesitation in his eyes. "Have you ever thought… have you ever thought that maybe she needed him to love her? To be what he is to her now? That he had even less of a choice than he first thought?"

Leah stared at him for a long, silent moment as that suggestion swirled through her heart and head. It made sense. Whatever they need is what the legends said. Did Emily actually want Sam, even when she'd pushed him away?

Shockingly, Leah found she didn't really care. Not anymore. Though she hadn't forgotten the relationship she had with Sam and she probably never would, she found that she now thought of him as a proper ex. Someone she'd missed for a while after he'd broken up with her, but then after some time, had moved on from.

Frankly, not hating him any longer was a relief.

"It doesn't really matter anymore," she said quietly, ignoring the way Jake's brows winged in surprise. "But it does bring me to my next point. All of the imprints have ended in a strong emotional bond, bar Claire as she still far too young. Every one, Jake. The only ones who aren't married yet are you and your vamp, as she's only just grown up."

"And you don't like the thought that that might happen with you and Nate someday?" her Alpha asked softly. Leah groaned and rubbed her face with her hands, frustration ballooning rapidly.

"Jesus, Jacob, I want to give him the fucking _choice! _I don't want him to be trapped like that! Claire's going to fall for Quil and they're going to get married, it's pre bloody destined! I don't want that for him! I want him to have his own life, not influenced by something that should have nothing to do with him! Christ, he's a paleface, for god's sake! "

"He has a choice, Leah."

"No! No, he doesn't!" she snapped, getting up and beginning to pace. "Even if he doesn't feel anything more than friendship for me, I'm always going to be around! I'm always going to be in his life! He can't get rid of me! Where's the fucking choice in that?"

Jacob sighed. "Lee, I'm sorry, but it sounds like normal human interaction to me."

Leah turned and looked at him once more, shoulders falling as she realized that he just didn't understand. And why would he? All of the current imprints were all happy, happy, joy, joy, Quil and Claire included, even if they were just brother and sister at the moment.

_Can't I be the one chosen for once? Is that just too much to ask?_

"It's okay," she muttered, taking a seat again. "Just ignore me."

"Oh, if only," Jacob grinned, the expression widening when his Beta snorted. "I still think you should go see him. Let him get to know you, Lee. We aren't going anywhere anytime soon, so you have time. Think about it, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," she said, absently rubbing her chest again. The ache was getting worse. And there was a choice removed in itself.

How was she going to know that he wanted her in his life truly, when his very insides punished him if she wasn't?

~0~

Leah held out for two more days before that constant niggle got too bad. In the end, she was finding it hard to breathe, her lungs backed up and sitting like solid rocks in her chest, the hook gorging a hole in her gut. As a result, she woke up that morning like normal, went to go down to breakfast, and then somehow found herself at the edge of the reservation. She couldn't remember getting there, but there she was, and the thought that she had no control over her own body pissed her off.

She was trying to make herself turn around and head back to her mother's house – which wasn't working very well – when an old, battered truck pulled up beside her, door opening. She glanced over and scowled when she saw Embry sitting in the cab, watching her.

They stared at each other for a long moment before Embry spoke.

"You're just hurting yourself, you know. Him, too."

"What the fuck do you know about it, Call?" Leah growled, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "I don't see you with a damn imprint!"

"No, but I know what it's like to love someone and deny that you do," he said quietly. "It hurts a lot more than accepting it does. Surely you can see him once, Leah. Just once, if that's all you can handle. I'm heading to Port Angeles now, if you want the ride."

Leah bit her lip, indecision crawling through her. On the one hand, she didn't know how much longer she could stop herself from going to the kid. But on the other…

Both wolves knew that once wouldn't be enough.

"Come on, Lee. Why suffer when you don't have to?"

It was the something in his tone that finally made up her mind. She took a step towards the cab, and then another, and then she was climbing onto the seat and closing the door. Embry smiled at her and quickly pulled back onto the road, neither saying much until they were on the other side of Forks.

"So, who'd you love, Call?" Leah asked, curiosity getting too much for her. Embry looked at her and didn't say anything for a while, until she was sure he wasn't going to answer. She was about to prod him when he finally decided to reply.

"Someone who doesn't love me back."

The she-wolf threw him a sharp look, that something back in his tone. He sounded forlorn and resigned, like no matter how hard he tried, that one fact was never going to change. It was almost as if…

"Someone who _can't _maybe?" she asked slowly, thoughts churning.

"Something like that," Embry murmured, eyes focused on the road. "But you've got this chance to be happy, Lee. I don't understand why you're not letting yourself."

Leah sighed. "He's a kid, Embry. It feels like it should be wrong to want to know him this badly."

"Are you going to instigate anything you shouldn't?"

"What? No!" she barked, throwing him a look of disgust. Embry met it calmly.

"Well, then you have nothing to worry about, do you?"

Having thoroughly stumped his companion, he turned back to the road and didn't say anything more until they reached Port Angeles. As they pulled up to the youth centre, Leah looked at her pack mate in surprise. He shrugged.

"Quil goes on about Claire so often, I know her schedule as well as he does. They'll be here all day. I've got a job on the other side of town that'll last a couple of hours. I can come pick you up when I'm done, or you can run home, it's up to you."

Leah nodded and took a deep breath, hand hesitating on the door handle before pushing it open. She glanced back at her ride as she got out.

"Are you sure there's no way?" she asked softly, his predicament still on her mind. Embry sent her a small, weary smile.

"Positive."

"Shit. I'm sorry, Embry."

"What do you have to be sorry about, Clearwater?" the wolf asked. "Nothing you or anyone else can do about it. Go now. Text me later and let me know what you're doing."

"Will do," Leah said, closing the door. The truck pulled away and she let the hook lead her towards the nondescript building, already feeling lighter.

Who knew air could taste so sweet?

Her hands were shaking as she pushed open the door, but she did her best to ignore the nerves turning her stomach to knots. Worst case scenario, he would run when he saw her. If that happened, well then… she didn't know what she would do.

She prayed to every deity known that he didn't run.

The large, hall-like room was bursting with activity as Leah stepped in, so much so that it was hard to pinpoint exactly who was in charge. She figured she needed to let someone know she was here – they were a youth centre after all, if she didn't introduce herself, she'd probably get kicked out as quick as she could blink. Eyes sweeping the room, the she-wolf was about to head over to a group of adults who looked like they were setting up some sort of activity, when that hook in her gut _pulled_ and her head snapped around.

Nate walked through a door at the other end of the room and sat himself down in a corner.

He hadn't seen her yet, which, after a moment, she decided was probably a good thing. She needed an in, someone who knew both him and her to introduce them. She couldn't just barge on over, which is what she'd very nearly done as soon as she'd seen him.

It was as if Seth had disappeared, staying away for a long time and not telling anyone where he was. When she saw the kid, messy black hair falling every which way and swamped in clothing that was far too big for him, the need to go to him, to check him over, to make sure he was healthy and wasn't hurt, jolted through her, much as it would if her brother had been out of contact for a while. It was a relief, actually, to see him and to know that there was nothing more than familial feelings there. Strong ones, sure, but purely platonic. The thought that something may have gone wrong with the imprint and she was now a pervert had been one of the things keeping her up at night.

"Leah?"

The she-wolf turned, blinking when she saw the last person she expected – though she shouldn't have really, as the woman was the one who brought Claire every week. Her cousin was standing next to her with a puzzled frown on her face, and when Leah's gaze flicked back to Nate for just a second, Emily followed it. Leah scowled at the slightly knowing smile that appeared on her face.

"Oh. Well then. That took you longer than I thought it would."

The scowl deepened. "Shut the hell up, Em, and just introduce me, would you?"

Her cousin chuckled and Leah found herself hiding her own smile. It was the first time she'd spoken to Emily without sneering in she couldn't remember how long. Though they'd probably never be as close as they were when they were growing up – before Sam – Leah didn't hate her any longer.

Contrasting her relief over not hating Sam, she wasn't entirely sure if she was happy about it this time. Men were a dime a dozen, but Emily had done the one thing a girl should never do to her best friend.

Then there was the fact that if you live on bitter street long enough, you got to like it there.

"Okay, but I think we need a wingman, so to speak," Emily said, looking around the room. "Help ease you in better. Where is she? Ah, there. Claire!"

The tween in question spun around at the sound of her name and grinned at her aunt, eyes widening slightly when she saw Leah standing beside her. She turned and spoke quickly to the group of girls she was sitting with, before jumping up and shooting across the room towards them.

Leah watched her as she ducked and dodged, streaking through the crowd. She shook her head. She loved her little cousin, she really did, but the girl had so much _energy_. It made Leah feel old.

"Hey, Leah! You're here! Did you come to see Nate?"

Leah winced as she all but shouted the sentence, excited voice ringing through the room and making people turn and look. Her eyes shot over to the corner and her stomach twisted again when she saw that Nate was one of those people. He was staring at Leah with no expression on his face, and when he saw her looking, he quickly looked down, going back to whatever he was messing with on the floor. Leah had no clue what he was thinking.

Was he still afraid of her?

"Inside voice, Claire," Emily scolded quietly as the girl came to a stop beside them. Leah went still when she stepped closer and put her hand on her shoulder, the she-wolf only just stopping herself from instinctively moving away from the silent show of support. Old habits die hard.

"Sorry!" Claire said in a stage whisper, grinning again. She turned to Leah and looked at her expectantly. "So? Did you?"

"Yeah, I did," Leah answered slowly, still watching the kid on the other side of the room, looking back at her cousin and frowning when Claire laughed and clapped her hands in glee. "Quit it, runt. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, so throttle down the excitement, okay?"

"Why don't you want to make a big deal out of it?" Claire asked, head cocked curiously. "It's an imprint, Leah! Imprints are a big deal!"

"Imprints turn lives upside down, Claire!" Leah snapped. "How exactly do you think he's going to feel if he's bombarded with it straight off? He's not like you; he hasn't lived with this his whole life!"

"I think he'll like it," the young girl muttered stubbornly, not at all intimidated by her cousin's tone, or the low growl the she-wolf let out. "But, fine, it can stay on the down low at the moment. So, we going, or what?"

She bounced backwards, glancing over at the corner and then back at Leah and Emily, eyebrows raised. Leah took a deep breath.

_Please, please don't let him run._

"He's quiet, skittish and a bit of a loner, Lee, but if he didn't want to meet you, he would have already left the room. He doesn't stick around during situations he doesn't like. It'll be fine."

Emily's soft voice in her ear got her moving, which was another thing that never would have happened before the imprint. Leah took another breath, nodded, and then followed Claire as the girl skipped across the room. Nate looked up a couple of times during their approach, once again looking away almost immediately. It was as if he couldn't help himself.

"Hey, Nate!" Claire chirped once they'd reached him, plopping herself down on the floor. "Can we join you? This is my cousin, Leah."

The kid looked surprised, glancing at Claire quickly and then up at the tall woman, before once more focusing on what he had spread on in front of him. As Leah sat down – more like Claire _tugged_ her down – she realized that it a puzzle. A massive puzzle, which he'd already completed about a quarter of.

"Hello, Nate," the she-wolf said, her tone deliberately soft and steady. Her imprint threw her another lightning quick glance, not answering. She still couldn't read anything in those pale, icy blue eyes.

"So, yeah, Leah wanted to say sorry for scaring you at the party. She didn't mean to."

Head shooting round, Leah glared at her young cousin, who just grinned back, innocence shining in her eyes. Leah huffed and looked back at Nate, who's head was canted ever so slightly in her direction, eyes still on the puzzle. His was listening, though. Maybe apologizing first thing was a good idea. She'd been going to apologize anyway, she'd just planned on putting it off for a while. Reminding Nate of something that had frightened him straight away hadn't seemed like a good idea. Her meddling little cousin had just thrown a wrench into that plan.

"I, ah, yeah, I did want to apologize. I didn't mean to scare you like that and I'm sorry that I did. I swear it won't happen again."

The kid's hands still briefly on the pieces when she spoke, before resuming picking them up and placing them.

"S'okay."

His voice was so quiet, Leah doubted she would have heard it if she didn't have enhanced senses. She frowned at the answer. It sounded like something he said all the time and didn't at all mean.

"No, it's not. Not at all. Everyone has the right to feel safe, Nate. It won't happen again."

"Jeez, Leah, deep much?" Claire quipped, giggling when Leah scowled at her. Once again, Nate didn't say anything, but she did sense that he might actually believe her this time. Though he was still focused on his puzzle, his body language seemed more open, his shoulders no longer so tense, his head canted just that touch further towards her. Leah grinned to herself at the accomplishment.

"So, you want a hand? We can help you," Claire said, looking at the she-wolf, who pursed her lips and then nodded. She didn't think she'd ever actually done a puzzle before. Glancing at Nate, she caught his brief shrug, and deciding to take that as a green light, she reached for a puzzle piece determinedly.

~0~

It took an hour, a surprisingly short amount of time in Leah's mind. But then again, according to Claire, Nate did puzzles all the time, so maybe it wasn't. The she-wolf didn't speak much and Nate didn't speak at all, but somehow that was okay, because she was spending time with him and he wasn't afraid of her any more. She also found herself enjoying putting the puzzle together as well. At some point, Claire got bored and wandered off, leaving the boy and woman alone. Leah thought that maybe the kid might pull into himself a little when his friend left, but surprisingly he didn't. When they were about half way through, he even started stopping her when she went to put a piece in the wrong place, silently taking the piece and placing it where is should go, even sometimes leading her hand.

Once they'd placed the final piece, Leah sat back and took the completed puzzle in. She hadn't seen the box, so she had no clue what the picture was until it was nearly complete. Lying on the floor in front of them, spread out in all its glory, was a incredibly majestic looking dragon. A deep, fiery red, it curled itself around the puzzle, leathery wings stretched wide, a vast, snarling mouth facing out at them filled with sharp, pointed teeth. It was sitting on top of a mountain, claws digging into the stone, volcanoes exploding all around it. Whoever had painted the original picture was amazingly talented. Leah stared in awe.

"Holy shit. That is so fucking cool."

"Leah, language!" Emily scolded from behind her, making her cousin almost jump out of her skin. Shockingly, she hadn't heard her approach. She'd been too caught up in the puzzle.

"Shit, sorry," she said, answering automatically and then clapping her hand over her mouth when a group of kids across from them burst into giggles. She threw Emily an apologetic look, who sighed and shook her head, smiling slightly, the expression transforming as wonder and approval abruptly took its place. Leah frowned and followed her gaze, going completely still when her eyes landed on her ghost of an imprint.

He was smiling.

Not widely, it was more of a half-smile that only just tilted a corner of his mouth up, but it was a smile all the same.

_Nate was smiling._

Leah felt like she'd hung the moon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Choices**

Disclaimer: SM has all the money, doesn't she? And I clearly have none. So, that must mean that she owns everything, apart from the idea for this story and Nate. They're mine. Unfortunately, that still means that I have no money…

**Chapter Two**

_Leah felt like she'd hung the moon._

* * *

**Warning! - This chapter contains physical violence.**

* * *

Going to see Nate every week became a part of her routine, a habit of a sort. Leah would drive to Port Angeles at the start of the day and run errands for her mother, then park outside the youth centre and spend a couple of hours with her imprint. They were never very talkative meetings, but with time Leah learnt that Nate communicated in different ways. The kid was as much of a puzzle as the ones they completed together nearly every week.

When he wanted them to, Nate's eyes could tell you exactly what he was thinking. They would shine when he was happy and go blank when he was upset. After three months, they shone more than they shut down. The half-smile also made more of an appearance and she even got a full one once or twice. The days that happened, Leah went home with a massive cloud of euphoria hanging over her, her smile so wide, it ended up scaring the people who knew her. She didn't care. All that mattered was that Nate was happy. His happiness brought on her happiness.

When Nate did speak, it was in soft sentences, and Leah learnt to listen whenever he did. The kid was smart. Like genius smart, though the she-wolf may have been a little bias in that assumption. He asked intelligent questions and they got into more than one debate if he disagreed with the answers she gave. He certainly wasn't shy when he got to know someone, and Leah was thrilled that he counted her as one of the very small group of people he trusted.

Leah never spoke about Claire's birthday again and Nate never asked her about it, though she could tell he was still curious. She'd catch him looking at her every once in a while with his head cocked to the side, as if he was trying to figure something out. He'd turn away when she'd meet his gaze, but she could easily read the questions in his pale blue eyes. He also never seemed to question why she was there every week, and why she spent a solid two hours in his company, instead of spreading herself around like the other volunteers did.

The she-wolf shied away from answering these questions, pretending that they hadn't been there in the first place, and justifying _that_ by telling herself he was too young. She didn't want to get into that yet. She didn't want him to feel trapped, which was the way she was positive he'd feel once she let him in on her secret. So, she ignored the curiosity in his eyes and just enjoyed his company.

Everything was going pretty well in Leah's opinion, until the day Nate's father showed up.

She knew he was going to be trouble the moment he walked in the door. Kyle Green was a big man. In his youth, his mass had probably leant more towards muscle, but now that the years – and the alcohol, going by the ruddiness of his cheeks – had taken its toll, that muscle had developed into fat. He thundered through the entrance and looked around, face flushed. Nate stiffening beside her was the only warning about shit hitting the fan that Leah got.

"Nathaniel!"

His bellow rang through the room, instantly stopping all conversation and turning everyone's attention to the bellower. Nate stiffened even further, the animation in his face falling away until it was blank and empty, his suddenly cold eyes locked on the figure in the doorway. He slowly got to his feet, Leah finding herself copying him and rising from the floor as well.

"Nathaniel! Get your good-for-nothing ass over here, boy! Now!"

The words were spat and far from friendly. Leah's wolf snarled inside her in response, an angry rumble that she only just stopped escaping her throat. She glared across the room at this man who thought he could talk to her imprint like he was something he'd scraped off the bottom of his shoe. Who the hell did he think he was?

"Mr Green, you've been told before that we won't accept you speaking like that in this establishment," one of the youth centre supervisors said, hands fluttering in agitation. Leah's wolf growled louder. This man was Nate's _father?_ The suspicions Jake had shared with her back on her porch poured through her mind again, and the she-wolf was reaching out and stopping Nate from going any further before she'd even thought about it.

Nate looked back at her and blinked, seemingly surprised at the restraining hand on his arm. Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet hers and then shook his head. Leah scowled darkly, her other hand fisting at the vast hopelessness she read under the coolness in his expression.

"Nate, you don't have to go with him, you know that, right? Anyone here will help you if you need it. Hell, you can come home with me right now."

She spoke softly enough so that usually only she and the person she was speaking to would have heard her. However, because the room was still silent, her words carried, and Nate's father heard what she'd said very clearly. His face flushed even redder and eyes the same colour as his son's flared with insult and anger.

"Excuse me? Who the hell are you and why the hell do you have your hand on my kid's arm?"

Nate's eyes widened and the expression in them shifted to pleading. He shook his head once more, swallowing hard. Leah's heart swooped at the fear that was making both his body and his bottom lip tremble for the second time since she'd met him_._ Her head snapped towards the dead man in the doorway, teeth bared as her wolf shifted anxiously under her skin.

_You fucking asshole, you reduce this amazing little boy to shaking with terror? I'll tear you apart with my bare hands._

"I'm one of the people who actually _cares_ about your son, something that can't be said for you, can it?" she growled, eyes narrowed. Nate let out a strange little sound at her words and Leah flicked him a quick look before focusing back on his bully of a father. The big man's mouth had dropped open at her words. He quickly snapped it shut as he met her eyes again, angry expression flaring brighter.

"On, really? What's the stupid shit been telling you, huh? Whatever it is, it's not true. He's a worthless little liar who carves attention like a whore carves sucking cock."

"Mr Green!" the same supervisor spluttered as the room filled with horrified gasps. Leah gritted her teeth, her own body began to tremble, breath coming out in harsh pants as rage surged through her system. How _dare_ he? They were in a room full of _children_ and he mouths off like that, not to mention talking about his own _son_ that way? Oh, how she wanted to rearrange his face. Show him the massive errors of his ways and teach him a lesson in _respect-_

"Leah."

The whispered word had the power of a bomb, yanking her from her preoccupied thoughts and dragging her gaze away from the offensive bastard Nate called his father. Her imprint had moved to stand in front of her, and though his expression was calm, his eyes screamed for her attention, for her to listen to him.

"It's okay. I'll go with him."

"_No!_" Leah snarled, hand snapping out towards him. She froze in horror, mind reeling when the abrupt movement made him visibly flinch and take a step back, confirming all of her suspicions.

_Jesus, no. No, no, no, no, no!_

"Y-you don't have to," she muttered, trying not to let her shrieking panic invade her voice. Nate sent her that half-smile and her wolf whimpered at the weary knowledge in his eyes. No kid should look that old.

"Yes, I do. He's my father. I'll see you next week?"

"You will," a voice confirmed from behind them, Emily's presence suddenly hovering over Leah's shoulder. "And she's right, Nate. If you ever need anything, _anything,_ you know that we're right here."

Nate's gaze dropped. "I know, I just-"

"Nathaniel, stop sucking up to the scarred freak and get over here _now!_"

The wolf who was already pulling harshly at her chains, just begging to be released, began snapping and snarling even more. It was only Emily's hand tightening on Leah's shoulder that stopped the she-wolf from lunging at the man. Sure, Emily and she were no longer as close as they had been growing up, but Emily was still Pack, she was still her cousin, and Leah had still feared for her life when the woman had been attacked by what at the time she'd thought was a bear. This piece of shit had the audacity to comment on something that had nothing to do with him? He was lucky he was still breathing!

Another strange little sound escaped Leah's imprint and the she-wolf looked down in time to see a flash of darkness flitter across Nate's expression, reminding her forcibly of a flurried attack on another boy at Claire's birthday. It cleared as soon as he caught her looking, but it reminded Leah that there was more to the kid than the timid shyness he showed the world.

He was stronger than he looked. That wouldn't help if his dick of a parent decided to wail on him, like her wolf was howling was going to happen, but it made her feel just that tiny smidge better.

The tiniest smidge. Hell, less than the tiniest smidge. A quarter of a quarter of a thin slice of a smidge.

"Boy!"

Nate jumped at the shout and then turned around, his face blank once more. Leah's wolf whined and growled, pushing against her skin, scratching, howling and making her shake so hard, she felt like she was having a seizure. A low, whimpering snarl escaped through her lips and the world fractured as her vision shifted to lupine, claws pushing through her fingertips and spine rippling.

Her imprint was walking away from her, willingly placing himself in a dangerous situation. And there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She took a step forward.

"Leah, listen to me. You can't do this. If you stop Nate from going or attack his father, you'll just make it worse for him in the long run. Not only that, you'll expose the packs at the same time. Your wolf is already too close to the surface. You need to calm down and you need to do it now."

Emily's voice was a quiet murmur in her ear. Deep down, the she-wolf knew what she was saying made sense, but it wasn't helping any. Her wolf could smell victory and was pushing at her even harder.

_Mine. In danger. Need to hurt. Keep safe. Need to hurt!_

She felt the back of her shirt ripping as her muscles bulged.

"Lee, there are children here. If you do this, you will hurt them the way Sam hurt me. Maybe worse."

The words were pointed and direct and actually managed to push their way through the dampening affect her wolf was having on Leah's human mind. She didn't want to hurt anyone. It had nearly destroyed Sam when he'd lost control and ending up putting Emily in the hospital. The incident haunted both packs, an example of what might happen if you didn't learn to control yourself.

"You could end up hurting Nate, Leah."

_Anger, snapping, snarling, shifting, Emily screaming, on the ground weeping, blood, so much blood, God, what have I done? What have I done?_

Sam's memories tore through the haze of fury and vengeance, freezing the wolf in its place and slowly calming its human counterpart. Leah took a couple of deep breaths, the shakes subsiding. Her vision shifted back to human and her gaze locked on the rough grasp the dick had on Nate as he shoved him towards the door.

_Walking dead man. Just a matter of time._

The dead man looked back over his shoulder at Leah as he began to follow his son. His mouth pulled into a nasty snarl.

"Stay away from my kid, bitch, or you might just find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time. You never know what can happen in the dead of night."

Then both he and Nate were gone and Leah was out the door a minute or two later, her wolf bursting through her skin the minute she hit the Olympic National Park. She stayed in her wolf form for the next week, switching between running a perimeter around Nate's school and sleeping in the shadows underneath his window. She ignored Jake when he tried to get her to change back, to eat a solid meal and get a decent night's sleep. Short of an Alpha order, she wasn't leaving her imprint's side for the time being.

She would protect Nate if it was the last thing she did. The imprint wouldn't have it any other way.

~0~

Leah knew something was wrong the instant she saw Nate again in human form the following week. There weren't any physical marks on him, at least not ones she could see, but for some reason, he wouldn't look her in the eye. He seemed to shy away from her whenever she came within five feet of him, and when he thought she wasn't looking, he would stare at her with questions in his eyes, questions that seemed bigger and heavier than the ones that had been there before.

She didn't know what the problem was, and she couldn't get close enough to him to ask. He stopped hanging out with Claire as well, stopped talking to anyone. Leah got the impression that if he could've, he would have stopped coming to the youth centre altogether.

Fortunately, she learnt from Emily that that wasn't possible. Kyle Green and his tantrums were known to the Port Angeles Police Department, and Nate going to the youth centre was a court ordered sanctum, proof that he was all right and that his father hadn't done anything to him.

Emily said that the only reason he hadn't been removed from his home was because Nate's mother had vouched for his father every time, swearing black and blue that nothing was going on. Leah wanted to slap the bitch as much as she wanted to take out her asshole husband.

It got worse as the weeks went on. Nate retreated further and further into himself and Leah got more and more pissed off. She hated seeing the light leave his eyes. She couldn't remember seeing or hearing anything happen in the week she spent protecting him, so she had no clue what had set this off. All she knew was that her imprint was acting like she was the scum of the earth and it was killing her.

It all came to a head when Nate's father came to the centre again a few weeks later. As she couldn't stand trying to get Nate to talk to her, only to have him curl into himself and pull away, she had volunteered to run out and get a few supplies they had run out of. She was back about ten minutes before she would usually leave, as she'd caught a ride with Jacob that morning and her Alpha would be annoyed if she was late, when she heard a slurred, angry voice and the disgusting scent of unwashed body and alcohol on the wind.

"Brainless little fuck, back-chatting me. Teach you to respect your elders, I will, you ungrateful brat."

There was the crack of a backhand making contact with a cheek, a pained cry accompanying the sound. The instant Leah recognized Nate's voice, she was out of the car and flying into the alley next to the centre, teeth bared as she slammed full force into the beefcake who was hurting her imprint. They fell to the ground, Leah on top of the monster, and without a second thought, she began systematically ploughing her fists into the shithead's face, a continuous rumbling growl pouring from her throat as her wolf howled in approval in her head. Her vision turned a hazy red and her thoughts became a mixture of human and lupine as she continued to break the face of the man under her, hitting him over and over again.

_Fucking prick… mine! Teach you a little something… hurt him! Safe… protect him… keep safe! You'll never hurt anyone again… destroy you! Mine… Nate… must protect!_

"Leah, stop, stop, you have to stop!"

_No, no, take him out, never hurt Nate again, I'll kill him first… yes! Destroy!_

"Leah, _STOP!_"

The Alpha order hit her like a ton of bricks, whipping her body forward and then back again, bloody hands clenching and unclenching before they snapped behind her back. She lurched to her feet and stumbled backwards into the wall, body shuddering and collapsing under her as she fought the order with everything she had. She snarled loudly and tried to pull away further when Jake crouched down in front of her and took her face in his hands.

"Stop. Stop it! Don't make me lay another one on you, because I will if that's what it takes! You can't kill him, Lee, which was what you were getting very close to doing! Do you really want Nate seeing you do that? After what he's already been through?"

Her body slumped as his words got through, and Leah's head shot round to see Nate cringing against the stone of the opposite wall, gaze locked on the blood covering her hands. His eyes were wide and blank and an already forming bruise stood out sharply against the paleness of his cheek. He looked very small and very young and Leah wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms, wrap him up and keep him safe from anything and everything.

"Let me go," she muttered to her Alpha, pushing against his arms. Jacob watched her closely for another minute, then dropped his hands and stood up. As soon as he'd stepped away, Leah was on her feet and heading towards to Nate.

Her whole world came to a standstill when he scrambled back from her, fear pumping from his pores. His eyes weren't blank anymore.

"Stay away from me!"

_Oh, God, no. Please, no. _

She took a slow, careful step forward, hands stretched out in front of her. "Nate…"

"No!" he shouted, body trembling as his eyes flicked to her hands and away again. "No! You promised! You promised it wouldn't happen again! You're a liar just like everyone else is!"

_Everyone has the right to feel safe, Nate. It won't happen again._

Leah wanted to kick her own ass six ways from Sunday. He lived in an abusive home, for fuck's sake! Like he's going to want to have anything to do with her after she'd just used her fists in much the same way his own father did!

"Shit, Nate, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I was just trying to help-"

"I don't need your help! I don't need anyone's help! They're going to take me away now, and my mom's going to be alone, all because of you! You're exactly what he said you were! Stop trying to get your perverted kicks from little kids, and leave me the hell alone!"

The air literally froze in her lungs.

"_What?_"

"He told me you were only paying attention to me because you liked them young and he was right! You have no other reason to want to spent time with me!"

"God, no, Nate, I would never-"

"Shut up! You lied! I won't let you do whatever it is you plan to do, you sick freak! Go away and never come back, I don't ever want to see you again!"

The words were like sharp, pointed barbs, piercing her skin and pulverising her heart. A muted, pressurized buzzing began in her ears, blocking everything else out, and she stared hollowly at her angry little imprint, tears running down his face as he threw accusations with hate in his eyes. He thought… he thought… she swallowed, throat swelling, her wolf's mournful howl echoing through her mind. He never wanted to see her again. He hated her.

_Her imprint hated her._

The world narrowed to that one thought and Leah took a step backward, and then another, until her back was pressed against the wall again. There was hurried movement all around her, the police and ambulance service had shown up, Emily and Claire were running to Nate's side, Jake was trying to talk to her, but she felt and heard nothing. All she could see, all she could _breathe,_ was the fury, disgust and betrayal – _sweet Jesus, the betrayal –_ pumping off the nine-year-old boy being led away from her. He hated her. Nate hated her and didn't want to ever see her again.

Straightening as those words lodged like a hook in her heart, Leah made a split second decision. She'd always felt horrible over not giving her imprint the choice about whether she was in his life or not. Now, though, it seems that he did have that choice. He'd made it with loud, painful shouts.

_Go away and never come back, I don't ever want to see you again!_

The imprint would be whatever the imprintee needed. Nate didn't want her next to him, he wanted her gone. Nate _needed_ her gone. So go she would.

She would give Nate the choices she had taken away the moment a force beyond her control had bound her soul to his. She would let him grow up without her constantly hovering in the background, influencing every part of his life. She would let him live that life without her around, let him become the man he was always meant to be.

Even if it destroyed her in the process.


	3. Chapter 3

**Choices**

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I do own all the angst I'm putting Leah through.

**Chapter Three**

_Even if it destroyed her in the process. _

* * *

"You're making a mistake."

Leah ignored the large form of her Alpha leaning against the door jamb and continued to pack up her clothes and the few things she'd brought with her when her pack had come home. He'd arrived at her mother's house about ten minutes after Emily had dropped her off, and he hadn't left her side since. It was beginning to crack through her hard-come-by rationality. How was she supposed to stick to her decision to leave when the dick wouldn't stop going on about it being the _wrong_ decision?

Her head knew that what she was doing was the right thing. She was trying her best to ignore her heart and her gut, which were screaming at her, repeating over and over that she was about to make the biggest blunder of her life. It was a sentiment Jake seemed to agree with.

Then again, he was with his imprint and couldn't be happier. Of course he'd be against someone taking the other fork in the road.

"Lee? Will you stop and listen to me please? You can't just leave."

"Can't I?" Leah said as calmly as possible, turning away from her bed and scanning the room, checking to see if she'd forgotten anything. "Why not? There's nothing more for me here."

"Bullshit," Jacob growled, pulling away from the door. "Your family is here, your pack is here, and Nate is here. You're willing to throw all that away at the first hurdle?"

"Being accused of being a paedophile is a fucking big hurdle, Jake!" she snapped, whirling on him as her anger bubbled up. "Nate hates me! He thinks I want to put hands on him, in more ways than one!"

"He didn't mean that, Leah, he was just upset and he took it out on the closest person!"

"Oh, so I imagined the way he's been pulling away from me for the last few weeks?" the she-wolf asked sarcastically, folding her arms and raising a brow pointedly. "I read the signs wrong and he pulled those words out of his ass, out of the blue?"

"You _know_ who put those words in his mouth, Lee! They came straight from his fucker of a father! Nate really doesn't think that at all!"

Leah sighed and turned back to her duffle, closing it and shoving it over her shoulder. She met Jacob's eyes squarely as she turned around again, anger and worry forced down once more. "It doesn't matter that that prick put the idea in his head in the first place, he believed it. I never, _never, _gave him any reason to believe that I would treat him that way, and yet with a few words, he acts like I'm a dangerous criminal."

Jacob blinked and realization ran through his eyes. "You're hurt."

"My feelings don't matter. They don't," she insisted with a frown when he snorted. "Nate's the only one who matters here. He told me to go away, that he never wanted to see me again. He made his choice and I'm just doing what he wants me to do. Isn't that the nature of the imprint?"

"Not when you turn things around so that they suit you," Jacob answered with a frown of his own. "It sounds like to me that you're using the way things played out to your advantage. I know you didn't want to imprint, Leah, but if you walk away from this, you'll not only be hurting yourself, you'll be hurting Nate as well."

Leah sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "Once again, it isn't about me. Nate deserves a chance to live a happy, normal life, without a predestined soul mate hanging around, influencing every part of that life. He deserves to live the life he would have lived if the imprint had never happened. He deserves to grow up and fall in love with the person _he_ chose, not someone the supernatural blood in my veins chose for him. I just want him to be happy, Jake. If I leave, he will be."

"What's to say he won't be happy with you?" her Alpha argued. "What's to say he won't be _happiest_ with you?"

"He won't be," she replied firmly, walking over to the door and brushing passed him, making her way down the stairs. The house was empty apart from her and Jacob, something she was grateful for. Her mother was at work and Seth was out patrolling. This was hard enough already, she didn't think she'd be able to walk out the front door if her family were home, pleading with her not to go.

"You can't know that," Jacob said as he followed her, his steps almost silent, contradicting the size of his body.

"Yes, I can."

"Oh? Did you suddenly develop a physic gift out of nowhere or something? I thought you didn't like Alice? Imitation is the highest form of flattery, you know."

"No, I haven't suddenly decided to copy the crazy little imp, you jerk," Leah muttered, glowering at him over her shoulder as they walked into the kitchen. She rolled her eyes at his smirk. "I just know what I saw in Nate's eyes. He'll never be happy with me, not after what I did."

"What you did? What did you do?" Jacob asked, snagging a leg of chicken from the fridge when his Beta pulled it open to grab a few supplies. Her mother wouldn't mind. In fact, if she were there and wasn't trying to tie Leah to a chair, Sue would be insisting her daughter take more.

"What did I do?" the she-wolf repeated as she threw her Alpha an incredulous look. "I broke my promise, Jacob! I made him feel unsafe, beat his father to a bloody pulp, and destroyed his family, all in one shot!" She slumped into a chair and stared down at her now-healed hands, still seeing the blood she'd already washed away. "He hates me, but because of the imprint, he'll want to be around me, which will breed resentment. Then, later, when he gets older, it'll probably turn into more, and that resentment will grow threefold. He'll love me but hate me, and that isn't what I'd call the healthiest relationship, for either party involved."

She only just stopped herself from raising her hand and rubbing it between her breasts, the ache in her chest pulsing like a heartbeat and growing steadily. It hurt to even _think_ about Nate not wanting anything to do with her. She couldn't imagine how much it would hurt if she stuck around and he threw his intense dislike for her company in her face every chance he got… no. She wasn't going to think like that. That wasn't the reason why she was leaving. She was leaving so that Nate would have a chance to be happy. Her feelings didn't matter one iota. He was all that was important here.

"Okay, so let's break that down, shall we?" Jacob said, getting up and chucking the chicken bone in the rubbish, letting out a belch as he turned around again. Leah rolled her eyes. He may be her Alpha, but he still acted like the teenage boy she'd gotten to know when she'd first phased. "You say you broke your promise. Maybe you did."

"There's no maybe about it."

"But that doesn't mean you can't make up for it and he can't forgive you," he continued as if she hadn't spoken at all. "Everyone makes mistakes, and besides, I wouldn't really call you ripping into his father a mistake. That shithead deserved every punch he got."

"I agree, but me ripping into that shithead broke up Nate's family-"

"His _family?_" Jake spluttered. "That fucker is as far from a family man as you can get!"

"His mom, Jacob," Leah said wearily, watching as her Alpha's face pulled into a grimace of understanding. "They take Nate away, the best thing for him, but it means she's alone with her husband when he gets out of the hospital. Nate is never going to forgive me for putting his mother in greater danger. And to top all that off, I hurt someone the way his father had been hurting him and his mother. Someone he felt safe with proved that she's no better than the man who's probably been using his fists on him for years. How can he trust me now?"

Jacob was silent for a long moment, his face twisted in thought, brows pulled down. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again, a look of annoyance flashing through his dark eyes. Leah smiled slightly in amusement as he tried to figure his way around her argument. He clearly wasn't having any luck.

"No matter which way you look at it, Jacob, it all comes out in the deep end of shit creek. Leaving is the best thing for everyone."

"You can rebuild trust, though," Jake said a little desperately as she stood and re-hooked the bag over her shoulder.

"Not at this level of losing it. And what happens when I lose my temper next time? Do I re-build the trust I may or may not have already gained back? Plus, he'll have to find out about the packs and my wolf sooner or later, and I guarantee he'll think I kept it from him deliberately, which won't help with the issue of trust, will it?"

"You've really thought about this," Jacob sighed. Leah raised a brow at him.

"Of course I have. You think I'd do something this massive on a whim? I had a lot of time to think sitting in that police station while Chief Swan talked me out of an assault charge. There are as many cons as there are pros and I'm trying to think this all through as calmly and rationally as possible."

"Not working, is it?" her Alpha asked after a moment as he stared at how tightly she was gripping the strap of her duffle, the knuckles on her hand white. Leah followed his gaze and quickly released the material, shaking out her hand to relieve the tingling. She glared down at her betraying fingers and headed for the door, not looking at the man who had turned out to be one of her closest friends.

"Are you really sure you want to do this? I can't convince you to stay?"

"Yes, I am, and no, you can't."

Jacob sighed.

"All right. So, where will you go?" he asked as he once again followed her. Leah set her sight on the front door, determined to walk through and be gone.

"Seattle for a start," she answered as she stepped out onto the sagging porch, silently thankful that he was no longer protesting. It was her decision, after all. Jacob wasn't the kind of person to stop someone from doing what they chose to do, especially if they believed in it so forcibly. "After that, who knows? Where the need to earn a living takes me, I guess."

"You do know that you don't have to do this alone. The pack could go with you."

Leah stopped abruptly and turned, facing her Alpha, who was watching her closely. Meeting his eyes, she could instantly tell that he meant it. If she asked him to, he'd uproot his pack, moving them from the original home they'd managed to settle back into. His Beta's imprint hadn't been the only reason why the Black Pack had stayed in the area. All of his wolves had grown up here, and no matter how far they travelled, whom they encountered and what had happened to get them to leave in the first place, the La Push reservation would always be in their blood and in their hearts.

It was home. Always had been, always would be.

The she-wolf shocked the hell out of Jacob when she stepped closer, leaned up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you. Thank you for not judging and for always being there, supporting us and lending an ear when we need it. Thank you for thinking of others before you think of yourself. Thank you for letting me go, even when you think it's a mistake. But most of all, thank you for not forcing me to stay."

Jacob blinked a couple of times and Leah smirked slightly when his head dropped, his cheeks reddened and he scuffed the dirt with the toe of his shoe.

"Jeez, Lee, I'm just doing my job," he muttered awkwardly, embarrassment pumping off him in waves. Leah laughed.

"Yeah, but you're a damn sight better at it than Sam ever was. No, Jake, you stay. Nessie's found a home here and the rest of the pack has settled back in as well. I'll be fine."

Her Alpha muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like "I'm not so sure about that," but he nodded anyway, following again when Leah turned back to her truck and opened the door. She threw her duffle onto the passenger seat and slid in.

"I want to know the instant you settled somewhere," he ordered as she closed the door and wound down the window. "If I don't, I'll send Seth after you. You know he'll want to follow the instant he learns you're gone, and you're well aware how irritatingly persistent he can be."

Leah rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the guilt roiling in her stomach over leaving without saying goodbye to her family. "I will, don't worry."

"And know that we'll be here the instant you want to come back."

"I won't be coming back," she muttered, determined to stick to her guns. She turned the key in the ignition and looked at her Alpha, ignoring the worry in his gaze, as well as ball of emotion that had suddenly lodged itself in her throat.

_Don't fall apart now, if he sees you break, he use it to get you to stay. Just go, Leah. Go!_

"See ya, Jake," she said in a rough voice, hand on the window winder. Jacob stopped her winding it up by resting his palm on top of the glass.

"Remember what I said, Lee. The instant you decide to stop running, we'll all be waiting here for you, Nate included."

"I'm not running."

Jacob shook his head. "Yes, you are. But that's okay, I know the feeling. You can't run your whole life, and if you try, you may just find someone running after you. Better go now if you don't want to hit traffic."

The she-wolf stared stupidly at the man who tapped the roof of her truck and then stepped back, wondering when the hell he'd grown up and how the hell she'd missed it. No, that wasn't right. Jacob Black had grown up the moment he'd accepted the fact that he was Alpha of his own pack. She just hadn't wanted to see it, to acknowledge that someone three years younger than her, and a teenage boy to boot, was acting far more mature than someone who was classified as more woman than girl.

She watched him for a moment and then faced front again, pressing her foot to the gas pedal. Risked only one glance back, she caught Jacob waving in the rear-view mirror, and then hurriedly looked back at the road as her eyes stung and that ball of emotion swelled.

_Don't. Not yet. Wait 'til you're far enough away that you can't justify turning back. Wait 'til Seattle._

Leah pretended she was fine until she came out the other side of Port Angeles. It was as if the imprint knew she was leaving, passing over some sort of invisible line, moving steadily away from her home - _Nate_ \- her family - _Nate - _her pack, and the boy she was tied to eternally, because it all suddenly became too much for her. The ache flared hot and brutal in her chest, carving out her insides until she felt hollow and empty and dizzy and where the fuck did all the air go? Her breath caught in her throat and her heart pounded so hard, it felt like it shook the truck. Her hands clenched on the wheel and the truck served as her vision blurred.

_Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, Nate, shit, I can't, Nate, shit, it hurts, Nate, shit, Jesus, fuck, fuck, fuck!_

Using the last of her control, Leah pulled the truck over to the side of the road and wrenched the door open, throwing herself out and landing on the grass on her knees. She sucked in breath after breath as her lungs screamed for air, body shaking like she was on the brink of phasing. She probably was. Her wolf was howling and raging in her head, the sound mixing in her panicked thoughts and the pain cutting her chest open with a blunt, rusty blade. She stared down at the ground blindly as shudder upon shudder wracked through her, the hook pulling so violently it was nauseating, but somehow, she stayed right where she was. She didn't phase and run back to Nate, she didn't get back in the truck and head back to Port Angeles and then La Push, she stayed kneeling in the grass and shaking, the wet seeping through her jeans.

"Miss? Hey, you okay? Do I need to call someone for you?"

The voice cut through her shrieking panic like a gunshot and Leah's head whipped around, teeth bared. The man who had spoken took an instinctive step backwards at the look on her face, and it was the uneasiness that boarded on fear in his eyes that helped her complete what his voice had started. Her panic and that unforgiving ache didn't fade, but with the real world intruding, she was able to focus on that rather than the feeling of her heart shredding into tiny pieces.

"A-ah, miss?"

"I'm fine," she croaked, clearing her throat but not yet attempting to get to her feet.

"You sure?"

"Yes. Thank you for stopping, but I'm okay. I was just… looking for my contact. Found it now, so you can go."

The man shot her a disbelieving look, one she fully deserved, and then nodded slowly.

"All right. I'll just stay until you get back on the road. Can't be too careful."

Leah gritted her teeth, annoyed at the absurd do-gooder, but also grateful for him at the same time. His presence forced her to suck it up and pull herself together. So, using the techniques Rosalie had taught her about controlling her anger and other strong emotions, she took hold of the horrible, black sensations sitting heavily her chest and compartmentalized them. She couldn't stop herself feeling them, that was entirely impossible, but she did succeed in pushing them back and under, putting them in a box until she could pull them out and sort through them later, when she was more able to handle them. It took a shit load of effort, and for a moment she didn't think she was going to achieve it, but finally Leah managed to get to her feet and send the too-helpful stranger a strained smile, before heading back to the open door of her truck.

Starting the engine that had died as she'd put herself back together, the she-wolf slowly pulled back onto the road. She glared out the front window and folded her lips in irritation as she drove. This was why she was leaving. She'd just had an emotional breakdown on the side of the road because she was taking herself out of the life of a nine-year-old who wasn't even related to her, for God's sake!

It was too much. Too big, too intense for a kid to deal with, especially when he already had massive amounts to deal with anyway. It wasn't healthy. If she stayed, she'd screw his even more up than he already was, and she wasn't going to do that. She refused to do that.

Jacob may think she was running, but Nate was the whole reason, the be all and end all, and she would do anything, _anything_, to see that he got to live the life he deserved. If that meant that she had to live with a constant ache in her chest, then so be it.

The imprint seemed to read her mind again, and as Leah put more and more distance between her and the boy the legends said was her destiny, the ache blossomed and grew the further away she drove.

* * *

**A/N - As there seems to be a lot more story to tell than I thought there was going to be, I've decided to I'll extend this fic. It's still going to be short, but we're now probably looking at five chapters instead of the original three. Thank you everyone for reading, please know that I do appreciate all of your amazing feedback, and keep letting me know what you think! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Choices**

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, except the plot. Which means the not nothing is mine, doesn't it?

**Chapter Four**

_The imprint seemed to read her mind again, and as Leah put more and more distance between her and the boy the legends said was her destiny, the ache blossomed and grew the further away she drove._

* * *

To say it was hard was the biggest understatement imaginable. It was horrendous. By the time Leah got to Seattle, it felt like she was literally falling apart. She was hyperventilating, her hands were trembling on the steering wheel and sweat was trickling steadily down her forehead, pooling in her ears and the dip of her collarbone. Pulling into the first motel she saw, she threw the door open before the engine had even stopped, tumbling from the cab for the second time that day, dragging in huge lungful's of air as her chest squeezed her heart like a vice. Her vision faded in and out and her stomach roiled and twisted, forming thick, greasy knots of stress and anxiety. It was as though she was physically sick, horrifically sick, and all because she was stubbornly not doing what her ancestors, her tribe, her heart, her very _blood_ was telling her to do.

_It's not about me!_ she roared in her head, once more staring blindly at the wet grass she was all but curled up on. _It's never been about me! It's about him, it's about Nate and what's best for him! Stop trying to punish me for doing what the imprint is all about!_

She had no clue who she was yelling at, or if there was even anyone listening. It didn't matter anyway, as none of her phantom symptoms settled down even a little. After God knows how long, the she-wolf clenched her teeth and managed to pull herself to her feet, reaching for her duffle and closing the door of her truck. She then turned and walked – more like staggered – over to the office of the dingiest little motel she'd ever set eyes on. She secured herself a room from the unwashed, twitchy man behind the desk – who only spared her the briefest glance and didn't seem to at all care that his guest was leaving a puddle of sweat on the dirty lino floor – dragged her abused body up the stairs and unlocked the door, collapsing onto the bed with a somewhat relieved sigh.

That night was far from the best night of Leah's life. She slept very little, and when she did, it was in short, thirty minute bursts filled with strange, incoherent dreams that left her waking with a disconcerting feeling of loss. The time she spent awake was filled with concentrating on physically stopping herself from getting up and running back to Port Angles as fast as she could, as well as battling the shockingly strong flu-like symptoms she'd had no clue she was going to have to put up with in the first place. As a result, she woke the next morning with eyelids that felt like anvils, a thumping headache and anger pulsing through her veins, pulling her mouth into a furious snarl. Shooting the disgusting room a pissy glare, she got up and headed out to hand in her key, more than thrilled to move on. Intellectually, she knew that she would have felt just as bad in a five star hotel, but that still didn't stop her from kicking the rickety dresser on the way to the door.

It didn't get any better. She had no idea why she was feeling this bad this early, as she hadn't really felt anything when she'd first imprinted until about a week later, and that had only been a slight compressing of her lungs. This was far beyond that. The hook in her centre felt like it was trying to pull her inside out, and as more time passed, and Leah found a room in a cheap apartment and a job behind the bar in a worn little pub, the feeling only grew.

The first month she slept very little and ate even less. Food held little interest to her, most of the time she just ended up bringing it back up anyway, and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't sleep more than half an hour at a time. The only reason she kept her job was because her boss didn't care what she looked like when she came in, as long as she came in in the first place. It was a horrible time and it was only her determination to give Nate the life he deserved that kept her from running home as fast as her shaky legs could carry her.

As per her orders, she kept in contact with Jake and her family, texting her Alpha every week or two to let him know she was alive and okay. The she-wolf wasn't able to get off that lightly with her mother, however. Sue had been far from happy when she'd come home to her son shouting at his Alpha and her daughter's room cleared out, with said daughter nowhere to be found. Leah had spent an hour on the phone that night, listening to her mother as she switched between yelling at her and trying to convince her to come home. She'd eventually hung up with her ears ringing and the headache that seemed to be her constant companion pulsing behind her temples. Sue rang once a week after that, and Leah got emails twice a week from Seth.

It was her little brother that first let her know what was happening with her imprint and Child Protection Services.

His messages always began with a cheery little greeting and an overview of what was happening on the reservation, before rambling on about whatever issue that two packs were dealing with at the time. Leah smiled and shook her head through most of them, but it was the one that she got two weeks after she left that threw her into a tailspin.

_Oh, by the way, Emily's convinced CPS to let Nate come stay with her and Sam. Talk to ya next week, sis!_

Leah stared at the words on the screen, gobsmacked. _What the fuck? _It was the first time she answered her brother immediately after he'd sent the email.

_What? What the hell are you talking about? He's not supposed to be around the packs, Seth! He's not supposed to have anything to do with that! Why the fuck do you think I left?_

Her reply came back just as quick.

_Ha, thought that would get your attention. Just because you left, doesn't make your imprint any less part of your pack, Lee. He's yours, so he's a member of our family, which basically makes Emily as much of a cousin to him as she is to us. Plus, she's legally allowed to take in foster children, and since he already knows her and Claire really well, it wasn't that hard. She's working on trying to convince Nate's mom to come stay on the reservation as well, Mom's offered her a job at the bakery and everything. She's dithering a bit, which Emily says is normal for someone in her situation, but we think that she's slowly coming around. Seeing Nate sort of happy is helping quite a lot._

Leah blinked in bemusement, the words slowly processing their way through her brain. Both Nate _and_ his mother living on the reservation? Did that mean she'd left his fath- hold on a minute.

_Sort of happy? What do you mean he's only sort of happy?_

This time the reply took a lot longer in coming.

_Do I really need to answer that question, sis? He looks up expectantly every time the door opens, and when it's never the person he hopes it's going to be, his face falls before settling into a kind of blank mask. It's painful to watch. Are you completely sure you did the right thing?_

The she-wolf's lips formed a thin, hard line as her heart ached and stuttered. She ran a trembling hand through her hair as she stared at the computer, too many emotions to name blasting through her. God, why did it have to be this _hard?_ She was just trying to do what was best for everyone! With that thought in mind, she quickly typed and sent her answer back, keeping it short and right to the point.

_Yes._

Not a minute later, Seth came back with his reply.

_You can't even stay in contact with him?_

Nate cringing back against the dirty concrete wall and shouting at her flashed before her mind's eye. Leah swallowed heavily and typed.

_No. I'm tired, Seth. Talk to you next week._

She got up from the computer, only to turn back when it chirped to let her know her brother had sent a reply.

_Shit, you're stubborn, Lee. Well, at least you know where he is if you ever get your head out of your ass. Love you, sis, forever and always. _

He ended it with a smiley and Leah went to bed with a smile of her own, steadfastly ignoring the ache that seemed to have invaded her very bones. She knew what she was doing. Eventually, her family would accept that as well.

~0~

Leah stayed in Seattle for two months before she even gave thought of moving on. It wasn't her crappy job or her tiny room that finally convinced her to get further the hell out of dodge. It was her wolf and the fact that the animal was _really_ not pleased with her and her recent decisions.

Before the imprint, Leah's wolf had always been a slightly separate entity in her head, feeding off her emotions and acting accordingly, but it had never had any control over her and it had never swayed any of her thoughts or actions. Not even when she let it out. Now, however, was a completely different story.

She tried to stay in human form for as long as she could, because although she knew that the pack mind couldn't possibly stretch that far, she also really didn't want to take the chance. Things had changed within the pack over the years, and all of its members were now able to keep to themselves whatever they wanted to keep to themselves – hence why Leah had had no clue who Embry had been pining over. Nevertheless, put them all together and aim them all at one goal, and you definitely had a force to be reckoned with. Leah just didn't want to deal with them forming one very determined pack mind and _reaching_ for her. She couldn't handle it. So, she'd hadn't phased since she'd left La Push and she'd been quite happy with that.

That is until her wolf decided to stop playing around and took the choice out of her hands.

It was like getting hit by a freight train. Leah bulleted up in bed in the middle of the night, gasping for breath as her heart slammed in her chest and her wolf bayed in her head. The shrieking, eerie sound went on and on, filling her mind and drowning everything else out, until her hands flew up to cover her ears as she gritted her teeth in pain. Her wolf had been unusually passive up until then, just sitting back and letting her suffer through the supernatural flu the imprint was punishing her with, so it coming barrelling out all of a sudden took Leah completely by surprise. She clutched at her head, her scream coming out in a thin, keening moan, and then her body was abruptly moving, hurtling out of the bed and out into the street.

It didn't matter that they were in the middle of human-packed city. It didn't matter that there was nowhere to escape if they were seen, if they were _caught._ All that mattered was that the wolf was doing exactly what it wanted to do, disregarding its human counterpart completely. It was coming and it made that painfully clear, ripping its way through Leah's skin and clothes, bursting out of its cage and causing as much pain as it could to the one who had locked it up, who had kept it away from its other half, the one it was meant for. Leah screamed in agony as her body twisted and arched, the high pitch screech mixing in with the sounds of the city…

…then they were down on all fours and _running._

The only female wolf in her pack had always been the fastest. She was the smallest and the lightest, so it made sense that she could get up to a fairly decent speed. What didn't make sense was that they were half way back to Port Angeles before Leah could even begin to comprehend what was going on. When it finally clicked, when the pain finally faded and she began to think past the fact that her wolf had taken over and had made the change hurt as much as it had the very first time, she slowly began to take in her surroundings. The very first thing she noticed was that, though she was running, she wasn't the one moving her limbs.

The wolf was. And no matter how hard she tried, how hard she struggled, there wasn't a single thing she could do about it.

_What? No. Where are you going? How…?_

Trees began to flash by, the scenery becoming achingly familiar. If Leah had had any control, her eyes would have bugged out in understanding.

_No! Stop! You can't!_

Her struggles picking up, the she-wolf shoved and strained against the unmovable animal force taking them closer and closer to the very last place she wanted to be.

Taking her closer to him.

_Stop, stop, listen to me, you can't! We can't! Please stop!_

_~Want him.~_

Reeling back inside her mind, Leah stopped struggling for a minute and gaped.

_What? Who…?_

_~Want him. Needs us.~_

They weren't full sentences, but the disjointed words were definitely coming from the animal she was fighting with. Leah blinked in disbelief. She didn't… what… _how?_

_~Needs us. Will go. Needs us.~_

The more she concentrated, the more Leah realized that they weren't words so much as emotions. The wolf was doing what she'd been determinedly _not_ doing. It was responding to the imprint's call. And since it didn't seem to comprehend anything apart from the most basic human thoughts and feelings, it just didn't understand why Leah had made her choice in the first place.

Letting out a growl of frustration, the she-wolf resumed her struggles. If the wolf didn't understand, then she'd just have to _make_ it understand!

_Stop, this isn't right! We left for a reason! His life will be far better without us in it!_

_~Needs us.~_

_He does not! We will ruin him!_

_~Needs us. Protect him!~_

With those thoughts came picture upon picture of Nate's father looming over him, Nate's father hitting him, Nate's father hurting him. The wolf snarled in their head and picked up even more speed, while Leah reeled once more, fighting against her own need to protect and save the kid who had become her entire world. Taking a few deep breaths, she pushed down the instinctive reaction and continued trying to make the wolf see reason.

_He's not with his father anymore, other humans took him away. He's with Pack. Pack will keep him safe._

The wolf snarled again and shook its head in an almost human-like movement, denial swamping them both.

_~Ours! Protect ours! Not theirs, ours!~_

_Yes, he is, but being in his life at the moment will do more harm than good! He deserves to grow up free of any outside influence, he deserves to grow up and live the life he wants to live! Look at what we'll do to him if we go back!_

Bringing up her own pictures, Leah showed the wolf the way Nate had been cringing away from them in fear, the betrayal and pain in his voice, the disbelief and shock he was bound to feel when he found out about Leah's wolf, the betrayal at being lied to _again_. She showed it – _her,_ the thoughts were definitely coming from a female – feelings and emotions growing and transforming as he got older, not being able to love who _he_ wanted to love, the resentment sparking from that, and the hate building steadily under the love. She showed her the way the imprint would destroy who he is and wouldn't let him be who he's supposed to be. And finally, most importantly, she showed her the way it would ultimately tear all three of them apart, mentally and emotionally, while not giving them the chance to part physically. The wolf whimpered at the images and her paws faulted for a moment, just as they shot past Port Angeles and quickly came up on Forks.

_~No!~_

_Yes! We will do that to him! He needs to live a life without us in it. He'll be safe with Pack and he can grow up happy and healthy and choose his own path. That is the reason I left in the first place!_

The wolf whined and stumbled, the speed it was travelling at making it seem like it was weaving drunkenly. Leah gritted her teeth and _pushed_, the wolf growling and beginning to run again as they fought for control.

_~Needs us!~_

_Oh, for God's sake, shut the fuck up and listen to me, you mangy animal! What he needs is something we can't give him! Returning will only hurt him! I won't let myself ruin him, and I definitely will NOT let you do it either!_

She pushed again, pushed and pulled and _wrenched_, and the wolf howled as Leah threw everything she had behind the tussle.

_~Protect him!~_

_I AM protecting him! I'm protecting him from US! STOP THIS!_

The trees streaked by and the wolf howled again, the sound exploding from its throat and cutting through the air like a rusty, ragged blade. Leah bared her teeth, let out her own snarl-like howl and pushed, pulled, wrenched, _shoved…_

…then tumbled jaws over paws as the wolf abruptly relented.

_~Keep him safe. Protect him.~_

Hitting the ground with a surprised huff, Leah lay on the forest floor, finally back in control of her own body. The relief she felt was almost painful. She closed her eyes, feeling the wolf's eyelids do what she wanted them to do, and didn't move a muscle as her wolf sunk back down inside her with a whimper and something that sounded a lot like an accepting sigh.

_Oh, thank God. Thank you. Thank you. You won't regret… thank you._

_Leah, is that you? Are you back? Who are you thanking? I can't believe it's you!_

The excited ramble from a very young wolf named Justin spiked through Leah's head, and it was then that she realized exactly how close her wolf had brought them to the reservation. The hook in her gut was yanking at her, telling her that he was here, he was only a few miles away, she could see him if she only took off loping once more. It was this thought that got her up onto her paws and had her sprinting away in the opposite direction.

It was easy, far too easy to just give in. To just let the imprint do what it wanted her to do. To step back into his life and convince him to forgive her, to embrace everything they could be if she just gave that life a chance. It was easy, yes, very easy, but it was also very wrong, and she wasn't going to do it. She wasn't.

The hook's yanking made her whine as she ran, but she still kept going, and two days later saw Leah throw her duffle into her truck again. She was too close to him, so she would move on, where it would be harder to run back that quickly if her wolf ever managed to take her over again, though it didn't look like it was going to. The wolf's presence seemed greatly reduced since her episode, but Leah couldn't bring herself to care. It was easier that way, and the she-wolf drove out of Seattle without a backwards glance, determined to move on with her life.

She ignored the thought niggling at the back of her mind that it wasn't much of a life without her imprint in it.

~0~

Leah settled into Portland, Oregon, once again steadfastly ignoring the blip in her heart that refused to let her go any further. Portland was as good a city as any anyway. Having saved a little money while in Seattle, she was able to afford a bit more of an upperclass style of accommodation, choosing a tiny apartment in the middle of the city all of her own. She soon secured a job in a bar and sat back to get on with her life.

Slowly, time moved on and the years passed. Leah existed more than anything else, filling her days with routine and learning to live with the constant hollow, empty feeling in her chest, an aching that never really went away. Fortunately, the physical symptoms disappeared after a while, but she still couldn't sleep much, choosing instead to spend most of her nights taking correspondence courses at the local community college. She didn't want to be a bartender all her life, even if she did enjoy the atmosphere and the regulars.

Nate was thirteen when everything flipped on its head once more. She still kept in regular contact with her family and her pack, so she knew that about four months after she'd left, Emily had finally managed to convince Nate's mother to leave his father for good and move down to the reservation. Nate was living with his mother now, which Leah was very pleased about, and neither of the packs had seen hide nor hair of his father. This was good, very good. He was living his own life, without her hovering in the background constantly, influencing who he was and who he was going to turn out to be. Since he was there, she hadn't been back to La Push, as she knew that if she went back, she'd probably would never leave again. She hadn't seen anyone in her pack apart from Jacob and Seth since then either.

So, to look up one evening and see Embry walking through the doors of her place of employment, knocked her completely for a six.

She stopped dead, the cloth she was using to clean up a spilt drink skidding to a halt, jaw dropping at the sight of her pack mate casually taking a seat at the far end of the bar. He hadn't looked in her direction, but he must have known she was there. How could he not? A shifter's senses were keen, even if hers weren't as good as they used to be. With only phasing when she absolutely had no choice, the wolf had faded down inside of her quite a bit more, taking most of her enhanced senses with it. It was still there, as was the imprint, it was just… _less. _Leah was quite content that it was.

She stared at him, jolting into movement only when a patron touched her arm and asked if she was okay. Embry still hadn't looked up, and after reassuring the regular that she was fine, Leah took a couple of steadying breaths and crossed the floor towards him. There was no way she could get out of at least greeting him. He was pack, which made him family.

You never turned away from family.

_Isn't that what you did to Nate?_ a little voice whispered in the back of her mind as she made her way back behind the bar and took over making the drink she'd seen Embry order. Leah grimaced and ignored it, walking over and placing the drink in front of her old pack mate.

"Thanks," the wolf said, still not looking away from the menu he was perusing. Leah grinned, leaned down and quickly swiped a sip from the glass, making Embry's head snap up in shock.

"Hey, what do you… Leah? Lee!"

He sprang from his seat and all but threw himself across the bar, chin-length black hair flying as he picked her up and swung her around in an exuberant hug. Laughter bubbled from the she-wolf's throat at his enthusiasm.

"Damn it, Call, put me down! I'm working here!"

"Shit, Leah, I can't believe it's you!" he crowed as he did as he was told, grinning at her. "Where the hell have you been? You look amazing!"

Leah snorted and rolled her eyes at that, knowing very well that she looked far from her best, but Embry just continued to grin. He'd matured a little more in the years since she'd seen him last, though he hadn't bulked up all that much as Jake tended to do. Embry's face had hollowed somewhat, his features becoming more refined, and if she had to guess, she'd say that his body had become leaner and more toned, his muscles still there, but whippy and understated compared to the rest of his pack mates. He looked good, really good, and Leah found herself giving him an appreciative onceover.

_Embry Call, truly all grown up. Very nice. Who would have thought?_

Her eyes shot back to his when he chuckled under his breath, the sound low and deep, pleasing on the ear. Leah scowled at him playfully and pointed at his seat.

"You're on the wrong side, buddy. Back you go, or I may have to make you."

Her eyes widened when Embry cocked his head and sent her a slow, teasing smile. "Make me? Maybe I like it here."

_Holy shit, is he flirting with me?_

The mischievous little twinkle in his dark eyes said that, yes, he definitely was. Something fluttered in Leah's belly as a thrill ran down her spine, making her frown in confusion. She got flirted with all the time, it came with the job, but this was the first time she'd actually enjoyed it. And from Embry Call of all people! When the hell did _he_ learn how to flirt? That had always been Quil's area of expertise before he'd imprinted, not his best friend's!

"That doesn't mean a thing, Call. This isn't the place for you, bucko, back you go," she said, pointing at his seat again. Embry smiled at her, shook his head and then clambered back over the bar, making Leah wince and quickly check to see if her boss was around. This one was a lot more on the ball than her one back in Seattle had been.

"So, what are you doing here?" she asked him once he was back in his seat. Embry took a sip from his drink and peered at her over the rim.

"I live here, Lee. Got offered a better job about two months ago. There was nothing but pack keeping me in La Push, and Jake was all good with me going since there's so many of us now, so I took it. Didn't realize you lived here as well. How long you been in Portland?"

They chatted for a while before Leah had to get back to doing what she was paid to do, but they did keep talking throughout the night, and the longer the night went on, the more confused Leah became. Embry was constantly smiling at her and sending her flirty little glances, touching her as much as he could in the process. Leah didn't have a clue what to make of it, or of her own reaction to it either. Her heart rate had picked up, nerves knotting in her stomach, and her skin tingled whenever he innocently brushed his fingers over the back of her hand. Going by the smug little grin Embry was hiding behind his hands every once in the while, the jerk knew it, too. It was frustrating and bewildering and it was freaking her the fuck out.

She had an imprint, for God's sake! She wasn't supposed to be reacting this way! She wasn't supposed to be imagining Embry lying on her bed with his shirt open, hands behind his head as he grinned up at her in invitation! Why was she feeling like this? Jake had never even _thought_ of looking at anyone else when Nessie was growing up, and she was pretty positive that Quil wasn't out searching for a fuck buddy to pass the time either! It didn't make sense, why was she-

"Lee?"

She jolted when Embry said her name, blinking as she noticed that it was almost closing time and the wolf was only one of a few people left in the bar. He'd stayed the entire time, hours longer than she was sure he'd planned on staying, talking and laughing with her, the smile on his face and the look in his eyes flustering her completely. He wasn't flirting with her now, though. Concern was shining from his gaze.

"Hey, you okay?"

"I'm fine," Leah answered abruptly, turning away and beginning the process of closing. "You should probably go, we'll be closing soon."

"Yeah, probably, but you mentioned that you live close, so I thought I'd walk you home."

The she-wolf let out a humourless laugh, still not looking at him. "I'm a big girl, Call, I can handle a ten minute walk."

"Oh, I know that," Embry replied cheerfully. "That's why I want the company. This city can be scary at night, you know."

Leah swung back around and stared at the wolf in disbelief, finding Embry grinning at her with his chin resting on his hand, elbow on the bar. He raised a brow and shrugged at the look she was sending him.

"What? You're my Beta, aren't you? It's your job to protect me!"

The words 'Beta' and 'protect' hit Leah right in the gut, making the smile the younger wolf had just managed to put back on his pack mate's face fall once more. She heard Embry sigh when she turned away from him again, but he didn't move, just sat there and watched her shoo away the last of the stragglers, empty the till and close the place up. He was silent right up until she closed the back door behind her, locking it and heading out into the dark with Embry following.

"I know what you're thinking," he eventually said, the soft murmured shattering the silence. Leah kept walking and didn't reply.

"You do know that he'd want you to be happy, don't you? Nate is-"

"Don't say his name!" Leah snapped, rounding on him angrily. Embry met her look with a calm one of his own.

"Why not? It's not cursed or anything, is it? You'd probably feel better if you actually talked about him more."

"Shut _up,_ Call," the she-wolf growled, turning around again and heading for her apartment as fast as she could. Why did he have to bring it up? Couldn't he see that she _really_ didn't want to talk about him?

"No. I've known you all my life, Leah, so you can't intimidate me. This is something we need to talk about."

"Oh, it is?" Leah sneered, sarcasm heavy as they approached her apartment, the keys already in her hand. "Now, why would you think that the subject of _my_ imprint has anything to do with _you?_"

"Because you're a single, attractive woman who I would really like to get to know on a more intimate level."

Leah stilled with the key halfway in the lock, his words making her stomach swoop and dance. She drew in a shaky breath and leaned forward to rest her forehead against the door, jumping when Embry took her gently by the shoulders and turned her around. His smile was understanding and very gentle as he reached up to brush her hair back behind her ears.

"He's thirteen, Lee. Even if you were in his life, he'd still be far too young. You shouldn't feel guilty for experiencing the things that a normal, healthy, full-grown woman feels for a normal, healthy, full-grown man."

"I shouldn't be feeling anything for you at all," Leah muttered, scowling down at the sidewalk. "Jake didn't and I don't think Quil does either."

"Yes, but they're around their imprints almost 24/7," Embry argued, lifting her chin until she was looking into his eyes. "You haven't seen yours in four years. Don't you think that the time and distance would have some sort of effect?"

Leah swallowed. "But… I'm taken."

"No," Embry answered immediately, stepping in closer to her so that she was pressed against the door. "You're not. If you were, then I wouldn't have been able to hear the way your heart pounded every time I touched you. The way it's pounding now."

His eyes fell to her lips and Leah drew in a stuttering breath, unintentionally pushing her chest against his, which only made Embry's eyes darkened further as a flame began to burn in their depths. Leah licked her lips, a nervous move, and then bit the bottom one when his gaze followed the movement of her tongue. He looked into her eyes again and ever so slowly leaned in, stopping when Leah pressed her hand against his chest.

"I don't… I don't think the imprint… I don't think it's possible to break it. I don't even know if I want to break it," she whispered. Embry's mouth was so close, their breaths mingled.

"I'm not asking you to break it, Lee," he murmured in reply, one hand drifting down her side to rest on her hip, the other reaching out to cup her jaw. "I'm just asking for a chance. Don't you think you should take happiness wherever you can?"

Leah held his gaze for a long moment as his words swirled in her head. Happiness was a foreign concept to her. Why was that, though? Why shouldn't she be happy? Nate was living his life as he saw fit, shouldn't she be doing the same thing? Embry was funny, good-looking, kind, had a body she really wanted to see sprawled across her duvet, and was a generally nice guy. He knew exactly what she was going through and she could definitely do a lot worse. Why the hell was she hesitating?

Mind made up, she let a slow smile spread across her face. "A chance, huh? Is that _all_ you want?"

Embry's answering smirk was lightning quick, his eyes lighting as his hand moved to cup the back of her head. "Oh, I think I can think of a couple of other things as well," he murmured, making the she-wolf laugh quietly, before the sound was cut off by his mouth covering hers. Leah stilled for a second and then sighed into his mouth, putting everything out of her head and kissing him back, allowing herself to live in the moment and just enjoy.

* * *

**A/N - Okay, since I seem to suck at not letting a chapter get away from me, let's just say that this story will end when it ends, shall we? :) Thanks everyone for reading and let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Choices**

Disclaimer: Nothing within the Twilight universe is mine. I do own my dreams, however. *sigh*

**Chapter Five**

_Leah stilled for a second and then sighed into his mouth, put everything out of her head and kissing him back, allowing herself to live in the moment and just enjoy._

* * *

**A/N - I apologize for this chapter taking so long to arrive. I hit a bit of a wall. It's here now, however, so please read, enjoy and do let me know what you think! Now, onwards!**

**A warning for heavy sexual references in this chapter. Oh, and for those who are wondering about the turn the last chapter took, please keep in mind that this _is_ an imprinting story, and we're _all_ well aware of how strong that connection is... **

* * *

For a long while, Leah was as happy as it was possible for her to be. Embry really was a good guy; funny, kind and intelligent, and on their first official date, he had her smiling from the moment she opened the front door. He seemed to be going out of his way to make her laugh, and surprisingly, he was achieving that goal. Each date started with flowers and a compliment, and since Leah had thought she'd never be the type of woman to fall for pretty words and a charming smile, it shocked her that Embry had butterflies dancing in her stomach with a single flirtatious glance. She honestly felt like a young teenager in her first relationship, and trying to decide if that was a good thing or not kept her up a lot at night.

In the end, it was the disappearance of her loneliness that had her deciding to throw caution to the wind and just embrace it. She hadn't had anyone look at and handle her like she was precious metal since Sam, and she found that she enjoyed being a man's centre of attention again.

Three months passed in a blur of wining and dining at fancy restaurants, movie nights on her couch – never his, she felt more comfortable in her own space – talking about anything and everything except the pack and her imprint, and just general quiet contentment. When you throw in the heavy make-out sessions, you got a relationship that was almost perfect.

Almost.

Leah had never really understood the term 'gun-shy' until it came to the point that lengthy kisses and the occasional frantic grope just weren't enough any longer. It wasn't that she didn't _want_ to go to bed with Embry, it was just… actually, yes, it was. She wanted him, quite badly, but she was… iffy.

The main reason was, of course, the imprint. She knew it and Embry knew it, but they didn't talk about it, no matter how hard the other wolf tried to get her to open up. She lived in a constant state of both serenity and guilt, and the combination was seriously messing with her head. Her wolf seemed to have become a little bit more active since Embry had entered the picture, and though nothing as big as body snatching had happened, the animal had made her disapproval very hard to ignore, which didn't help sort out her own emotions.

Leah liked Embry a lot. But she didn't love him. That one thought went round and round in her head, and it didn't matter that she told herself that they'd only been together a few months, that it was too soon to be thinking about the L word. He wasn't her soul mate and he never would be. She already had a soul mate. That fact made her feel like she was treating Embry like a place holder, and it made her leery when he would look at her with desire burning in his gaze.

The man she was dating was a genuinely one of the good ones. And she hated the thought of breaking his heart because it wasn't possible for her to give him what he wanted.

There was also another reason why she wasn't eagerly throwing herself at him whenever things got steamy. One she didn't like admitting to herself just as much as she didn't like stressing over things that it was far too early to stress over. Leah was a strong woman who lived her life the way she saw fit, formed her own opinions and made her own choices – Nate being the perfect example – and Embry didn't try to change that about her. Just the opposite, in fact. He was very considerate and understanding whenever she said no. _Too _considerate and understanding. He didn't even try to change her mind, just backed away immediately, and Leah was finding it frustrating as hell.

Why didn't he just _push_ a little? She might have said yes if he did. Did he not understand how sexy it was to be wanted so much, your partner couldn't keep his hands off you? It was deflating to her ego, which was embarrassing, and it made her wish Embry wasn't quite such a nice guy. Slow and intimate sex was great, but fast, searing and all-consuming was even better. Even a strong woman liked to be overwhelmed every once in a while.

She wasn't going to tell him that, however. She knew it would come across as blowing both hot and cold, and she didn't want to make a mountain out of a molehill. It was such a little thing that it really shouldn't have mattered in the grand scheme of things. Embry seemed to be happy with the slow pace, which was something else that didn't do much for her ego, truth be told. Leah tried her best to ignore how inadequate it made her feel.

Who was she to complain about her boyfriend being a gentleman? Both her mother and Emily would have slapped her upside the head for even thinking of it.

So, they puttered along at that slow and steady pace, Leah enjoying the kissing and touching, and then hiding her disappointment when Embry easily said goodnight and walked away, until fate once again stepped in. It was widely known that, apart from the pack, Embry's only family was his mother. They were close, the wolf going back to La Push at least twice a month to visit his only living relative and catch up on pack business. He'd only ever asked her to go with him once, quickly retracting the question when he'd seen the look on her face, which had made Leah feel terrible. They grew up together and she couldn't share that experience with him, that extra bit of closeness that fact should have granted them. It sucked ass big time. Embry was once again understanding, but that just made Leah feel worse.

It was on one of those trips home when the unexpected happened. Leah was lying on the couch and watching a sitcom on TV, yawning and idly thinking about turning in for the night and working on an assignment that was due in the next few days, when her cell phone rang. A look at the display showed Embry's smiling face. Leah frowned. Why was he calling her so late? Thinking that there was only one way to find out, she quickly answered.

"Well, hey there, this is late for you. Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. Yeah, there is," the voice on the other end said, and Leah immediately sat up, reaching over to turn the volume on the TV down. One of the things she really liked about the man she was seeing was his voice. It was low and mellow, leaning towards rough when he was feeling something keenly, and always seemed to ring with cheer and laughter. He could make her smile just by saying hello. Now, though, it was scratchy and shaking, the tone dull. Leah's heart began to pound.

Something was _very_ wrong.

"Embry? What is it?"

"Ah, fuck, Lee, it's my mom. She d-died."

_What? _Leah's breath caught in her throat as her chest tightened painfully, the shock blasting through her and leaving her cold. She didn't know Tiffany Call very well, but she'd been a fixture of Leah's childhood, her cheerful face always there to greet you when you walked into the souvenir shop at First Beach. Leah's mom had known her quite well, though, and Leah herself had gotten to know her better through Embry's thoughts once he had phased. The Makah woman had even helped Leah once, when she'd first phased and her temper and panic had been out of control. Tiffany had found Leah as she was walking through the forest, curled up in a ball and trembling, naked as the day she was born. Embry's mother hadn't asked any questions, she'd just dragged her back to the house, all but forced spaghetti and meatballs down her throat and then had put her to bed, as if she was six instead of nineteen. When Leah had woken up the next day, her mother had been sitting on the side of the bed, stroking her hair, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Leah had learnt soon after that her father had had a heart attack and died – which she'd later learnt had been brought on by her phasing – and dealing with that as well as the pack and being a wolf, she'd never found the time to go back and thank her.

The regret hit her hard as Embry's words petered into a grief-stricken silence.

"Oh my God, Embry. I'm so sorry. What happened?"

Her boyfriend's breath shuddered as he drew it in to speak. "She's been sick and she didn't tell me. She had cancer, Lee. An inoperable tumour in her brain. She went to bed last night and just didn't wake up this morning. She knew for two months that she was going to die and she didn't tell me. Why didn't she tell m-me?"

His voice broke again on the last word, the tone confused and lost. Leah's heart broke for him. He was so strong, so confident, the shyness of his youth only adding to the appeal, and now he sounded like a little boy who'd just lost everything. Which he had.

"She knew? Shit, Em, I… I don't know what to say. She didn't want you to suffer, maybe? Maybe she didn't want her last few months to be sad, the last time she saw you to be overshadowed by her illness? I don't know, but she must have had a good reason. She was a sensible, level-headed woman; she would have had the best reason for not telling you, even if it only made sense in her head."

There was silence on the end of the line, and for a moment Leah thought she'd overstepped. He probably hadn't been expecting an actual answer. Why hadn't she realized the question had been rhetorical? She was about to apologize for making assumptions when she should have just been listening to him and letting him vent, when a heavy sigh echoed in her ear.

"You're right. That's something she would do. Stupid woman. I could've… but it doesn't matter now, does it? S-she's gone."

His voice died and Leah's fists clenched as she stared helplessly at the TV, the characters acting out their parts as muted canned laughter surrounded them. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Embry. Is there anything I can do?"

"No," he answered softly, another sigh echoing across the line. "Just hearing your voice is making me feel better. I just needed to… never mind. Anyway, the funeral's in a couple of days. I know that's not much time to get yourself organized, but I thought that since you weren't expecting it, I'd ring the airline and book you a ticket… Leah?"

That cold, rushing feeling was back, zipping through her veins and turning her heart into a rock in her chest as her stomach twisted into painful, panicky knots. She was actually surprised at how shocked she felt. She should have expected it, shouldn't have she? She was his girlfriend after all, and she had known Tiffany. How could he not have asked?

Hell, he wasn't even asking. He was _assuming._

Leah's breath caught as she tried to speak, her mouth imitating a dying fish as it opened and closed, the silence stretching taunt. She could feel Embry's confusion growing.

"Lee? You can pay for it yourself if you like, I just thought this would be easier-"

"I can't come to the funeral."

It came out in a jumble of words, each vowel and consonant falling over the last. Leah cringed once she'd said it. She could almost _see_ the way Embry blinked slowly in bafflement.

"You can't… come to the funeral."

"Christ, I'm sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am, but it's on the reservation and Nate's there. I can't go back there, Embry, you know I can't. If I do, I'll never leave, because I'm not strong enough to walk away from him again. I'm just not, Em. I'm so fucking sorry. I can't do that to him, and I certainly can't do that to you. If there was any way I could get around this, I'd do it in a heartbeat, you know I would-"

"Stop."

Leah's mouth snapped shut in surprise.

"Not even for this?"

The words were soft and shockingly calm, and they set Leah's heart pounding like a jackhammer.

"No. Ah, shit. No, Embry, no, not even for this. I c-can't."

Silence shouldn't be so thick. It hung on the line between them, pulsing with tension. Leah swallowed heavily, the lack of dial tone the only thing letting her know he hadn't hung up on her.

"Embry?"

"All right," came the quiet reply, "that's okay. I've got to go now, though. A lot to do. I'll see you when I get back."

"Embry, I really am sor-"

There was a soft click and Leah was left blinking at the credits rolling down the screen as that dreaded monotonous tone rang in her ear. A groan escaped her, the now silent phone falling between the cushions, her hands reaching up to tug at her hair in bitterness and frustration. Why did she have to be so fucking _messed up? _Her boyfriend's mother dies, someone she knows personally as well, and she can't be there for him because of one goddamn thirteen-year-old boy? It wasn't right!

_Bitch, come on, you know it's not the kid's fault,_ a voice whispered in the back of her mind, surprisingly sounding a lot like Rosalie. _Do you think that if he had the choice, he would've chosen to be eternally stuck with you?_

Sighing, Leah got off the couch and flicked the TV off. She knew the bloodsucker was right. Nate was the last person she should be heaping the blame on. If she wanted to point fingers, she should really be pointing them at the Cullens for starting this whole thing off. Or maybe, going further back than that, her ancestors for being what they were and passing it down in the first place.

With a grimace, Leah turned away from the blank TV and slowly headed for her bedroom, leaving her phone hidden under the couch cushions. She very much doubted she'd be hearing from Embry any time soon anyway.

~0~

Two weeks passed with nary a word from her boyfriend. It was a confusing time for Leah. The only other proper relationship she'd been in had been with Sam, and she couldn't remember disappointing him so much that he gave her the silent treatment for two weeks. She didn't know whether she should be attempting to call him either. The few times she'd tried, she'd gotten the answering machine, and after leaving an awkward, rambling message the first time and not getting a reply, she hadn't left another one. It was depressing and more than a little disconcerting.

Excepting the treatment as her due, she _had_ turned away from him of sorts after all, the last thing she expected when she got home from work a few days after her last communication attempt, was to find Embry sitting slumped in her doorway. He looked up when the sound of her steps stopped abruptly and literally bounded to his feet, exhausted eyes wide and dark.

"Leah! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, there's no excuse for treating you that way, I know why you couldn't come, I'm an idiot, the world's biggest dunce, I know you didn't do it deliberately, I shouldn't have expected you to do something I know you can't do and then to sulk about it, I'm truly sorry, I-"

The hurried words cut off when Leah held up a hand.

"You're apologizing to _me?_" she asked slowly, trying to wrap her brain around it. Embry nodded eagerly, took a steadying breath and walked towards her, taking her hand.

"Yes. I'm sorry I acted like a sulky child who didn't get his way. I knew you wouldn't be able to come, so I shouldn't have acted as if you'd done something wrong. You didn't. I treated you terribly and I can't apologize enough. Forgive me for being a brat and not taking your calls?"

Leah stared at him as he held her gaze with the most earnest expression. Her mind was whirling. This man had just apologized to her for being rightfully angry. She'd done something that she herself wouldn't have put up with him doing, and he'd just waved that away, said he understood and then said sorry for reacted the way anyone would. She couldn't believe it.

He was a good man, the best type of man. Christ, he was the type of man women _dreamed_ of ending up with. Why was she still holding him at arm's length?

What the fuck was she waiting for?

Still not saying anything, she pulled her hand from his and hurried to the door, eager to get on with it now that she'd made up her mind. Embry's face fell as he turned to follow her, approaching slowly.

"Aww, come on Lee, I know I did the wrong thing, but please don't be like this. I'll say sorry over and over if you need me to-"

With the door open and the light in the hallway switched on, Leah swung back around and cut off his words by pressing her lips to his. Embry let out a little sound of surprise, his eyes widened and then fluttering closed as his girlfriend proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of him. He groaned softly, his hands clamping down on her hips, and then stared at her in dazed stupidity when she nipped at his bottom lip and stepped back.

"A-ah… wha… huh?"

"So eloquent," she teased, grinning. The loss of his usual charm was doing a lot for her crumpled ego, as had the bulge she'd felt pressed against her stomach just before she'd stepped away. It was nice to know that she still had it. Taking his hand, she intertwined their fingers, turned and led him into the apartment, only stopping to close and lock the door. She didn't bother to turn on any more lights as she drew him through the dark rooms. She knew where she was going.

"Umm, Lee? I'm, ah, I'm a little confused here. What's going on?"

That low, slightly rough voice sent a shiver down her spine and Leah picked up the pace. Even baffled, he was sexy.

"Lee?"

"Shut up, Call," Leah retorted, tone just a little short as she reached for the doorknob. Christ, couldn't he see where this was going? She didn't want to talk, she didn't want to explain, she just wanted to _do._ She'd pushed the door open as this seemed to click with the man behind her, his body jerking as the light bulb went off. Another little noise escaped him, confliction heavy in the sound, and he pulled her to a stop as she stepped over the threshold.

"Wait… stop… Leah, are you sure?"

Letting out a quiet growl as impatience began crawling under her skin, Leah swung around again and kissed him for all she was worth. After a moment of startled immobility, her companion answered her just as keenly. They were panting by the time they broke apart.

"Less talk, more action," the she-wolf muttered, scrambling for the buttons of his shirt.

"Oh, thank God," Embry breathed in reply, wrapping his hands around her waist and heading for the bed, kicking the bedroom door shut on the way.

~0~

Leah woke with a start a few hours later. Her eyes popped open and she stared into the dark, warmth pumping from the body next to her, Embry's sleep-deepened breathing the only sound in the room. She frowned to herself as she tried to figure out what had woken her, and then her brain woke up completely.

_She'd slept with Embry._

The panic came out of nowhere. It hit her with the force of a rampaging bull, setting her heart racing and making the arm thrown across her stomach feel like a steel band, constricting her movements and boxing her in. She couldn't breathe with him in the bed, with him taking up all the space, all the air. She couldn't breathe _at all._

Throwing the covers back, she frantically jerked herself away from the arm holding her, freezing when Embry snorted in his sleep and turned over before settling down again. The walls wavered and pulsed, slowly pushing their way towards her, and Leah hurtled away from the bed, hyperventilating as she scooped up the blanket that had ended up on the floor and ran from the room.

The instant she left the bedroom, the walls began to behave again, staying on the sides of the room where they belonged as her lungs opened up and allowed her to breathe. Leaning back against the door, Leah sucked in air in rapid succession, her heart gradually calming. She groaned to herself as the panic left as abruptly as it had arrived. God. God, God, _God. _What the hell was wrong with her? Why the fuck had she felt like she was chained to the bottom of the ocean, wave upon wave of heavy, crushing water holding her down? Why the fuck did she just have a panic attack over going to bed with someone, when it had been _her_ decision to take the step in the first place?

Sighing, she reached up to rub her temple, where a headache was just beginning to form. She knew why she'd reacted that way. It all came back to one thing.

Everything always came back to that one thing.

A shiver ran through her, and Leah quickly wrapped the blanket around her shoulders to combat the chill, before making her way over to the couch and curling up against the back of it. She couldn't go back into the bedroom. Not yet. Truth be told, she didn't know if she'd be able to go back in there at all.

"Lee?"

The voice floated across the room, tone tentative. Leah squeezed her eyes shut tight, only opening them again when the couch dipped next to her. Embry had pulled on his jeans but hadn't bothered to button them, and the she-wolf could just make out the scratches that had faded into red lines she'd left on his bare chest in her enthusiasm earlier that evening. Her eyes shut again as her gut twisted.

"Are you okay?"

"No," she whispered, turning her face away from him. "No, I'm not."

There was a beat of silence before he spoke again, the words slow, as if he was choosing them very carefully.

"Did we do this too soon? I thought that… it doesn't matter what I thought. We can take a step back if you need to, pretend it didn't happen."

Guilt turned in Leah's stomach. For fuck's sake. This wasn't right. She couldn't keep doing this, couldn't keep acting as if she was an adulteress conducting an illicit affair. If wasn't fair to her, and sure as hell wasn't fair to Embry.

"No," she said, deliberately turning back to him and meeting his dark, worried eyes. "No, it wasn't too soon and we're not going to pretend it didn't happen. That's the last thing I want. We waited almost four months as it is. It was more than past time. I just… it's just that I'm messed up, Embry, completely screwed up in the head, and God, I really don't want to hurt you."

"Hey," he protested, settling further back against the couch so that she had to scoot over to let him in. He lifted his arm and reached for her, ignoring the way she resisted as he pulled her against his side. "I'm made of pretty tough stuff, Clearwater. I can handle whatever you throw at me. I knew what I was getting into the first time I decided to go for it. Stop worrying so much."

"Easier said than done," Leah muttered, though she didn't pull away. Embry's arm tightened around her in response.

"I've said it before, you know."

"Said what?" the she-wolf asked quietly.

"It might make it easier if you actually talked about it."

As the shadows in the room swallowed the words, leaving only silence behind them, Leah's mind spun in indecision. He didn't know. He had no clue what it was like, though he out of anyone probably knew the most. He'd never experienced it himself, but he knew through Jake's, Quil's, Jared's, Paul's and Sam's heads. As much as it was possible for him to understand, he would, which was a lot more than anyone outside the tribe. She just didn't know if she wanted that understanding.

She'd been telling the truth. She _really_ didn't want to hurt him.

"Leah?"

"It punished me," she whispered against his side, face pressed against his warm skin. She felt him shift a little as he tried to figure out what she was talking about.

"What punished you?"

"The imprint. After a left N… after I left, I got sick. Really sick. I couldn't keep anything down, I couldn't sleep, I'd dream about loss and sorrow if I did manage to get my body to shut down, I'd have dizzy spells that sent me reeling. Some days I couldn't even get out of bed. I could hardly breathe through the hollowness, the emptiness inside me, and the _pull… _it would leave me whimpering in a ball on the floor, my wolf howling and snarling and all but driving me insane. I can barely remember anything apart from the pain that eclipsed everything back then, that had me puking up my insides twice daily. That's why I couldn't go to the funeral. It tapered off eventually, settled down to a steady hollow cavern in my chest, something I can deal with and am still dealing with, but if I'd gone back… I meant it when I said I wouldn't have left again. I left in the first place to give him the choices the imprint took away, but doing it a second time would probably kill me, if it was even possible at all."

Embry didn't say anything for a long time. Leah waited as patiently as she could, just a little afraid that he'd be put off. He'd seen what imprinting could do through the minds of the pack, but she couldn't remember anyone putting it in words before. Finally, she looked up, frowning in confusion when she saw his mouth opening and closing repeatedly, a conflicted expression flickering across face. He was clearly debating whether he should say something or not.

"What is it?"

The indecision disappeared at her question, his mouth firming as resolution rolled through his eyes, and then even that was gone. Caution was the only thing she saw when he turned to her.

"All that without a sexual connection?"

Leah's head snapped back, the question making her forget his brief turmoil. She gaped at him in horror. "Of course there's no fucking sexual connection! Are you crazy?"

"No, I didn't mean that," Embry hurried to explain, grabbing her hand when she went to pull away. "I'm just saying that you felt that much without love and lust thrown in. It's a little mindboggling. And, ah, it also makes me kind of glad you didn't come to the funeral. I've only just got you, I don't want to lose you quite yet, especially not to an adolescent boy who won't be able to appreciate what he has."

"Oh, so _you_ appreciate it, do you?" she queried with a quirk of her brow, smiling as warmth spread through her stomach. He really was a good man. Embry held her gaze and she swallowed as those dark eyes lit with some deep, unreadable emotion.

"More than you can know," he murmured, taking her chin and leaning in to kiss her. Leah gave herself up to the feeling and kissed him back, the certainty that this _was_ the right thing to do making her rise to her feet and reach for his hand when they broke apart.

"Let's go back to bed," she suggested softly, and for the tiniest of moments, that indecision came back. Leah frowned and cocked her head in question, the movement making the blanket fall to pool on the floor at her feet, and just like that, the foreign emotion was gone. Embry gaze darkened as it trailed slowly over the vast amount of exposed skin in front of him, before he abruptly got up and all but dragged her towards the bedroom, the door once again closing with a solid snick behind them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Choices**

Disclaimer: I'll take the books if you're offering, but you can keep the movies. No, wait, maybe you better keep the books as well…

**Chapter Six**

_Embry gaze darkening as it trailed slowly over the vast expanse of exposed skin in front of him, before he abruptly got up and all but dragged her towards the bedroom, the door once again closing with a solid snick behind them._

* * *

Life became routine. Every morning, Leah would get up and head to work, enjoying the time she spent with her regulars and steadily putting money aside, bit by bit, for some unknown rainy day. Embry would join her for lunch most days, before heading back to the construction site, and once Leah had finished for the day, she would buckle down with her studies. At least twice a week, Embry would come over and cook her dinner – the wolf was a surprisingly good cook, while Leah had trouble boiling water, despite her mother owning a bakery – and then once she'd done as much as she wanted that night, they'd settle down on the couch with a movie or the TV to keep them company. If it was a weekend, Embry would take her out and most of the time would end up spending the night.

The only change to this routine came when Leah was working the nightshift at the bar, in which case Embry would come on his break to make their lunch before she headed to work. It worked for them. It was simple, uncomplicated, stress-free, and most importantly, it made Leah happy.

Didn't it?

Yes, of course it did. The sex was good, Embry made her smile, and life was great. Thoughts like 'dull' and 'boring' had no place swimming through her head, not when she was getting something she never thought she'd be able to have. Who was she to criticize, anyway? She knew she put Embry through a lot, and he still stuck around. Her moods swung like a pendulum, the constant guilt never far away, and she knew she took a lot of that out on her boyfriend. She couldn't seem to help it.

He never complained. Not once did he raise his voice back at her, point out how stupid she was being, or call her on her nit-picking. He never protested when she pushed him away, when she said no to him staying and closed the door in his face. He just accepted it and quietly stepped back, the endless patience in his eyes ever present. She should've been grateful for it. She should've embraced that acceptance with open arms. Instead, all it seemed to do was agitate her further.

Itchy feet had never been a concept Leah had understood. Before the Cullens, phasing and imprinting, she'd been more than content to stay right where she'd been born and raised. College had been an option that had really depended on what Sam had planned to do. She would've gone with him if he'd decided to leave, but he'd been like her when it came down to it. If they had decided to continue their education, they probably wouldn't have gone further than Seattle. The reservation was in their blood and they couldn't imagine much of a world beyond it.

That all changed when the Cold Ones came to town. Being forced to stay somewhere was the perfect way to make you resent not having your freedom, and Leah now found that that feeling had followed her after she'd taken that forbidden step and left. She liked Embry and she liked being with him, but…

She was boxed in again. And she really didn't like it.

Doing her best to ignore those feelings, as well as the thoughts that said maybe it was the _person_ she was boxed in with, rather than the actual boxing, Leah tried her best to act like a normal woman in a normal relationship. Time moved on, and before she knew it, she and Embry had been together for several months.

The other wolf knocked her for a complete six when, out of the blue, he told her he loved her.

It was a normal Tuesday. Leah was completing an assignment at the kitchen table, her mind on what she planned to do once she'd gotten her business degree. Her boss had surprised her the week before by offering her the assistant manager position when she graduated. She just didn't know whether she wanted to take it.

Leah had always liked the idea of starting her own business and being her own boss. But liking the idea and actually doing it were two different things. She couldn't imagine running her own bar, and she only really had one other skill besides serving drinks. It was one she, Rosalie and Jacob all shared, and it was one she hadn't found any time to indulge in of late. Her skills were rusty. Rusty skills did not make a good business opportunity.

It hadn't helped at all that when she'd discussed it with Embry, all he'd said was he'd support whatever she decided to do. All that had done was frustrate the hell out of her.

So, with the assignment nearly finished and her mind on her future, she looked up with an absent smile when Embry placed the plate of tuna casserole in front of her, not really concentrating on what it was until she looked down.

"Tuna? I know you love fish, Em, but you also know that I hate it," she grimaced, staring at the plate in disgust. Embry grinned over his shoulder at her as he served his own plate.

"That's true. But I'm aware as well that you can never resist a challenge," he said, taking his seat.

"A challenge?" Leah questioned, trying to discreetly push the plate away from her. Embry rolled his eyes at the less than subtle gesture.

"Uh huh. It's not just tuna in there. I've added something to the meal, a different flavour that should mask the fish flavour, and I bet you can't figure out what it is."

Leah glanced down at the plate again, undeniably intrigued. Something that cancelled out the seaweed and brine flavour of seafood? She looked back up at the cook and narrowed her eyes at his smirk.

"You actually think you're going to get me to eat fish by daring me too?" she asked, raising a brow. The look turned into a glare when Embry laughed.

"I know I am," he stated cockily, the smirk growing. "Come on, Lee, you're not afraid of a little fish, are you? Is the big, bad wolf scared to try something new?"

Later, she would curse the jerk for knowing exactly what buttons to push. Now, however, all she did was bare her teeth, scoop up the food and shove a forkful into her mouth. She glared at him over the mouthful and began to chew hurriedly, Embry watching with a grin before turning to his own meal. After a couple of chews, the flavour settled on her tongue, and Leah slowed down, her eyes widening. She moved the pasta around her mouth curiously and finally swallowed, looking down at the meal with a critical eye.

"Figure it out?" Embry asked cheekily, making Leah look up and scowl.

"I can't taste fish."

"Nope, that's the point. But what _are_ you tasting? Can you tell?"

Determined to figure it out, Leah took another bite, and then another. Before she knew it, the plate was empty and Embry was laughing around his food. Leah ignored him and stared at the empty plate, still mulling it over.

"See? Told you you couldn't resist a challenge," her boyfriend chuckled. Leah glanced up, feeling a little put out.

"I'm not really that predictable, am I?" she grumbled. Embry laughed again and got up to put his empty plate in the sink.

"Well, yes. But that's okay, because your predictability and stubbornness are only a couple of the many things I love about you."

The plate that Leah had been in the process of picking up hit the table with a loud rattle as it slipped from her grasp. Her jaw dropped and her head swung around to stare at the back of her companion in disbelief, those words running through her mind over and over. Had he just…? He couldn't have.

Had he just said he loved her?

Swallowing hard, she took a step forward and stopped, noting that Embry hadn't reacted either. He wasn't moving, the back facing her stiff, and she could see his hands clutching the side of the sink tightly. His body language was screaming that he hadn't meant to say what he'd said, and that he was just as shocked as she was. It made her feel a little better.

But only a little.

Clearing her throat, she tried to say something. Anything.

"Em… ah, I… umm-"

"You don't need to say anything," Embry interrupted softly, body gradually unfreezing. He slowly turned and met her gaze with so many emotions in his eyes, Leah couldn't tell one from another. "I don't expect you to say anything. I didn't exactly intend to tell you like that, but it slipped out before I realized I was going to say it. I'm not going to take it back, though. I can't. I do love you and I've been wanting to tell you that for a long time. I'm just sorry I sprung in on you so suddenly."

Discomfort twisted in Leah's stomach. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't say it back to him because… well, because she didn't feel it.

Why didn't she feel it? They'd been together seven months. Shouldn't she be feeling something _more_ for him by now?

Was it even possible for her to feel that?

Guilt quickly joined the discomfort. Leah twisted her fingers together and then pulled them apart, repeating the movement in a nervous gesture she hadn't made since she was a child. She scowled down at her hands as they kept moving, jolting when a larger set reached out and took them between their own.

"Hey, I said you didn't have to say it back, didn't I? There's no pressure, Leah. None at all."

_Yes there is,_ Leah thought, gut churning. She looked up, the need to apologize sitting heavy on her tongue.

"Embry, I don't know… I'm sorry. I'm messed up."

A humourless laugh slipped from the other wolf, his mouth kicking up into a somewhat wry smile. "No more than I am, Lee. Don't worry about it, okay? It's no big deal. Did you finish the assignment?"

He stepped back and moved over to the sink again, body relaxed. Leah stared at him, perplexed. Did he really not care that she couldn't say it back?

She was getting the impression that he didn't.

"Not yet," she replied, watching his back closely, confusion swirling through her mind. "Another half an hour and I should be done."

"Well, you finish that and then maybe we can go see that movie I was telling you about?" Embry asked. "I'll go check to see if it's on tonight."

He headed over to the computer, Leah's gaze following him every step of the way.

"Embry?"

"Yeah?" her boyfriend answered as he turned back and looked at her expectantly. Leah opened her mouth and then closed it again, a frown forming. She still had no clue what to say. So she settled for the easiest.

"What was in that casserole?"

Embry's grin was impish as he folded his arms across his chest and cocked his head. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

~0~

It was if he'd broken through a dam. Once Embry said the first 'I love you', he wasn't shy in saying it again. He said it at least once a day, and every time he did, it made Leah feel all the more uncomfortable.

It didn't matter how many times he said it, or how much he thought saying it would get her used to hearing it, her feelings never changed. She didn't love Embry Call. She tried. God, how she tried. But it just wasn't there, and trying to force the feeling only brought forth resentment.

Embry didn't seem to mind. He was either a very good actor, or the impression Leah had gotten when he'd first told her he loved her really was true. There was no sense of waiting or anticipation. He just didn't seem to care that she stayed silent whenever he said those words. It was highly confusing.

While Leah struggled with his mixed signals, seven months became a year, and then two. She completed her business degree, but didn't do anything with it, saying no to the assistant manager position her boss had offered her and continuing behind the bar. She and Embry's relationship kept going steady, and eventually little things of his began to pop up in her apartment here and there. By the time they'd been together for two years, they were unofficially living together, something neither of them ever brought up or commented on.

It was in their third year that Embry started having issues of his own. Leah had always had things she didn't agree with in their relationship, her boyfriend acting like a doormat the one that bugged her the most. She'd never known Embry to sit back and just take what someone dealt out, not even as a shy teenager, and the fact that he was still walking on eggshells around her after three years annoyed her to no end. He never argued with her, never pushed her, never tried to talk her out of the black moods she sometimes wallowed in. He just sat back and calmly let everything play out.

What grated the most was that most of the time, things played out exactly the opposite of the way she wanted them too.

It was a habit that he never kicked – never seemed to _want_ to kick – and it drove Leah up the wall. Why didn't he _fight_ for what he wanted? All that passive aggressive bullshit did nothing but make her feel guilty and horrible, and those feelings seemed to become her constant companions as time went on. She didn't know if he was doing it deliberately either, or if he just didn't realize that he made her feel like crap when he calmly watched her rant and then pretended it hadn't happened after she'd calmed down.

Leah had no clue what led to that game ending, to his mask cracking. But ultimately Embry proved that he really _was_ just a good actor. His looks turned long and searching whenever she didn't say it back, the patience she'd never felt in the past rearing up and fraying very thin.

He didn't say anything, however. Neither did Leah. Deep down, she knew they were crumbling. Some nights, as the other wolf lay sleeping beside her, she stared at the ceiling and wondered why she didn't just call it quits. They weren't happy. Their relationship wasn't healthy either. She was hurting him every time she didn't give him the answer he wanted, the answer that those desperate, searching looks craved. They hardly touched anymore and she couldn't remember the last time they'd had sex. They just coexisted, floated aimlessly through the life they'd made together. It wasn't right, and she knew that it would be best if she let him go, so that he could find someone who loved and appreciated him as much as he deserved to be loved and appreciated.

But that wasn't going to happen. Leah was a selfish person, she freely admitted that, and she didn't want to lose Embry. He was there, he was familiar, he was constant. She wasn't alone with him sleeping next to her.

Being unhappy was better than being alone.

Knowing this didn't help her to feel any less guilty, however, and to avoid that feeling and give them both the illusion of freedom, she took to spending a lot time on her own in the city. It was then that she began to feel like she was being watched.

Leah hadn't phased since she and Embry had gotten together. It was easier to ignore that side of herself, and it made not thinking of Nate easier to accomplish as well. Embry had questioned it eventually, trying his best to get her to phase and go running with him, but he stopped when she snapped at him and never brought it up again. As a result, her wolf was almost gone, her supernatural senses all but gone with her. The wolf may have protested initially, but she'd backed down fairly quickly, and the longer she stayed with Embry, the deeper her wolf sunk, until she almost didn't exist anymore.

Almost.

Leah had no clue what made her head snap up that day. She was sitting in the park, ignoring the little voice that was telling her she was avoiding going home, when _something_ had tugged at her obliterated senses. Something that screamed warning. Her head shot around and her eyes flicked across the nearly deserted area, jumping nerves making her surge to her feet. What _was_ that?

After standing and searching for the elusive threat for a good twenty minutes, Leah had to conclude that it had been a false alarm. She couldn't see anyone who looked like they were out to get her. Frowning to herself, she put it out of her mind and made her way back to the apartment. She soon forgot about it when it didn't happen again.

Leah's life continued as it was until one day in late March, two years and ten months after she and Embry had gotten together. She woke up that morning feeling… jumpy. Something was scratching under her skin. Her nerves were frayed, a foreign anticipation making her shift from one foot to the other, or tap her fingers against the arm of the chair. She didn't know what it was, but whatever it was, it grew as the day went on. By the time she went to bed with a very wary boyfriend choosing to stay up for a while, her chest was constricted and her head was spinning. Maybe she was getting sick?

A dream full of pain, the need to be near and protect, rightness, and fear for a young boy disintegrated that idea. Eyes snapping open, a tidal wave of comprehension washed over her as her heart leapt and her lungs squeezed unbelievably tight.

_Nate._

Leah's body rocketed up in bed, that achingly familiar soul-tugging pull hitting her like a wrecking ball. He was here. Nate was here. She could feel it, in her gut, in her heart, in her bones. He was in the city, he was close, within touching distance. _She had to get to him._

Ignoring the shout from Embry beside her, she shot from the room and ran to the front door, flinging it open, her wolf roaring to life inside her. Stopping only to scent the air, her enhanced senses abruptly returning with the wolf, Leah galloped into the deserted street and sped after that elusive scent, the pull tugging her relentlessly forward. She couldn't concentrate on anything else, not Embry speeding after her, not the little voice shouting in the back of her mind that she was doing something she was going to regret. All she could think of was getting to her imprint, the pull, the want, the _need_ to see him drowning everything else out.

It wasn't working. She ran as fast as she could, following his scent, but it was fading and the pull was growing distant. He was leaving. Leaving her, leaving her reach, and the desperation to get to him grew with every step she took. She wasn't fast enough!

~_Together!~_

The single, snarled thought broke through the fog of the pull and almost had her stumbling. She blinked as it rang through her mind, then snarled herself as it clicked. Yes. It was the only way.

_Together._

For the first time in almost three years, Leah phased.

The t-shirt and shorts she'd worn to bed ripped to shreds as her bones cracked and shifted, the wolf exploding from her and bolting after the fading scent. She left Embry in her dust, a small part of her noting that he didn't follow her example, instead choosing to stop chasing and watch her go. That thought faded as the pull overtook everything. Leah ran.

It was as if she was being reeled in on a fishing line. She followed the pull relentlessly, a single thought drumming in time with her paws hitting the concrete. She had to get to him. He'd come to her and she had to see him. It was his choice to come to her, and she had to follow through with that choice. It was obviously what he wanted.

She had to do what was best for her imprint.

_Wasn't it also his choice to not make contact completely? Wouldn't there be a reason for that?_

That little voice whispered softly in the back of her brain, hardly louder than the buzzing of a fly and easily ignored. However, a buzzing fly can get irritating after a while, and by the time Leah approached the airport, it was shouting at her.

_Why didn't he really come see you? Why did he leave without talking to you? Aren't you the one chasing him right now?_

_He's only sixteen. He's still a kid. What are you doing?_

Halting in the bushes surrounding the tarmac, Leah growled in frustration, her human conscience repeating the questions over and over. She couldn't go any further. Not as a human – walking into the airport naked would get her arrested as soon as she'd stepped through the doors – and definitely not as she was now. She was stuck.

And the voice was right.

The wolf whined in her head, the sound escaping through Leah's jaws. There was a resignation to it, as if she agreed with her human counterpart's thoughts. Leah couldn't just spring herself on him. There _had_ to have been a reason why he came all this way and then didn't make that final leap. It was his choice not to, they had to respect that choice.

_But why did he come in the first place if he wasn't going to see it through to the end?_

The confusion made her shake her head and huff indignantly. She didn't know why he came, but the endless hollowness in her chest was aching because of it, the pull dragging her body forward so much, she had to dig her claws into the dirt so she wouldn't move. She knew she needed to leave before she was caught, but she just… she couldn't.

She just couldn't.

It was a long night for Leah. She settled down on her haunches and waited, not really knowing why she waited, constantly fighting the bone-deep urge to go into the building and seek out her imprint. Her eyes didn't move from the doors all night, and it was just as the sun was rising that those doors opened.

Nate was one of the first people out.

If Leah had have been human, her jaw would've dropped. He may have only been sixteen, but Nathaniel Green did _not_ look like a kid anymore. He was tall – not as tall as she was, but it looked like it he would be in a year or two, maybe even surpass her – and lanky, his messy black hair still falling all over his forehead. His facial features had lengthened and lost some of their youthful appearance, his cheekbones sharper and his jaw more defined. The ultimate shape of his body was lost under the loose clothing he wore – why was he still wearing clothing too big for him? – but his shoulders appeared broad, the muscles in the arm sticking out of his t-shirt surprisingly developed. He walked hunched over slightly, gripping the strap of the bag on his shoulder in a tight fist. He was clearly not the boy Leah remembered cringing against a dirty concrete wall, and this shocked the she-wolf a hell of a lot more than it should've.

_It's been seven years, numbskull! Did you really not expect him to grow up?_

As if Nate had heard the sneer of Rosalie's voice running through Leah's mind, he stopped dead in the middle of the tarmac and turned unerringly in her direction, those icy-blue eyes piercing as they searched the shadows that concealed her. Leah dug her claws into the dirt further as, unbeknownst to him, their gazes connected and the wolf began howling in her head. Dear God, she wanted to go to him. She knew he couldn't see her, his human sight was too weak to pick her out in the slowly lightening darkness, but the pull was getting so strong, she was trembling violently from resisting it. He needed to go. He needed to go _right now_, before she could no longer stop herself from stepping out of the shadows and ruining both their lives in more ways than one-

"Sir? Are you okay?"

The voice of the stewardess made Nate start in surprise. He turned to look at her and the spell that held them both frozen broke, Leah legs collapsing under her as all the tension flowed from her body. He stared at the woman, who smiled back at him uncertainly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

His voice floated across the Leah, still quiet, though deeper and less hesitant than it had been. She closed her eyes as it washed over her, the wolf whimpering. Once she had the strength to open them again, she found Nate once more looking in her direction.

"I'm going," he muttered, his expression unreadable.

"This way, then, sir. It won't be a long flight, I promise you."

_He wasn't talking to you_, Leah thought wearily. She watched as Nate nodded and took a single step back. And then another. Then his whole body was turned away from her, his mouth twisted into a grimace.

He almost ran onto the plane.

_There's your reason why he didn't take that final step. He wants this even less than he did when he was a child._

Leah stayed right where she was until the plane was a tiny speck in the early morning sky, that vast, empty pit pulsing unbrokenly in her chest.

~0~

The last thing the she-wolf expected when she slunk into the back alley behind her apartment later that morning, was a neatly folded pile of clothing waiting for her. She'd already accepted that she'd have to wait until darkness fell again and then climb up the fire escape. The clothing threw her. There was only one person who would've left them, and she really hadn't expected him to still be there.

But of course he was. He was Embry Call, after all. He was considerate like that.

Phasing back, she dressed quickly and made her way to the front of the building, stepping inside cautiously. She had no clue how he was going to react.

"Embry?"

"In here."

She walked into the living room to see him sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees and his fingers entwined. He looked up when she stepped into the room, and the expression in his eyes had her halting on the spot.

As did the packed duffle bag sitting at his feet.

Leah swallowed, panic beginning to claw at her throat. He was… he was leaving?

"Embry, I-"

"You were right, you know," he spoke softly, his eyes locked on hers. Leah frowned at the random statement.

"Right about what?"

"When I first talked you into giving this a go, you said you were taken. Though I denied it at the time, I've come to realize that you were right. You are taken."

She took a step forward, panic growing. She couldn't lose him. They may not be perfect, hell, they were probably as far from perfect as you could get, but he was her constant. He made the days bearable.

She didn't want to go back to the lonely solitude she lived with before he'd come along.

"What are you talking about? I'm not."

"Yes, Lee, you are," Embry sighed, leaning back and rubbing his face with his hands before focusing on her again. "Last night, you displayed more passion for something than I've seen you show in the entire time we've been together. And it wasn't for me. It's never been for me."

The ticking from the fridge in the kitchen grew loud in the silence that followed that statement. Leah opened and closed her mouth several times, but nothing came out. As was common in their relationship, she didn't know what to say. Every excuse would've been just that; an excuse. There was no denying that what he'd said was true.

The statement had a finality to it. And that finality hurt more than Leah ever thought it would.

"You once said that you knew what you were getting into when you decided to go for it," she said in a hurried tone as she walked over and took a tentative seat next to him. A rueful smile tugged at Embry's lips in reply. His eyes shone with grief.

"I did. But I didn't realize how much I'd have to face."

"So you're just going to quit?" Leah asked incredulously, that panic still growing. "You're walking away, just like that?"

Embry's face hardened slightly, his hands fisting on his knees.

"It's not just like that, Leah, and you know it. This has been coming almost from the moment we got together. You and I were never meant to be. I tried to be right for you, but you were never happy, and your unhappiness is my unhappiness. Last night made me realize that there's really only one person who'd you'd be happy with, and that person isn't me."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't tried to be someone _different_ for me, it would've worked!" Leah snapped as she surged to her feet, her panic unleashing her temper. "I didn't want you to be someone else, Embry! I just wanted you!"

"But you didn't, Leah!" Embry countered, getting to his feet as well and gripping her shoulders tightly. "You never did and you still don't!"

"I do want you!"

"No, you don't, not emotionally! Christ, I'm not even sure if the want's physical anymore!" He sighed and held up a hand when she opened her mouth to reply indignantly. "But that's not the real issue here. You know what I'm talking about, Lee."

She did. Fuck yes, she did. It was always there, always hovering in the background. It was in all of Embry's searching looks, and in her feelings of guilt and self-loathing. She couldn't give him what he wanted. The feeling just wasn't there.

If it wasn't there after three years, it was never going to be there.

"I tried," she whispered, gaze dropping. Embry's shoulders slumped. He stepped back and ran a hand through his hair.

"I know you did. Unfortunately, you trying so hard just made it hurt more. I love you Leah. So much, and I could convince myself that what you can give me is enough and just live with it. I'd be happy, too. But one day, for whatever reason, you're going to go home, and he'll be all you'll see from then on. I'm actually surprised you came back now. I need to get out before that happens, before I get more involved than I already am. Losing you to him that way would break me. This way is my choice, and it's one I need to see through. For both our sakes."

There was that finality again. Leah stared at the man in front of her, sorrow and resignation flooding her chest. He was leaving. He was leaving _her._

There was nothing she could do to stop it.

"I'll miss you," she murmured, heart breaking just a tiny bit. She may not love him, but he'd been part of her world for a long time. Losing him was something she was having trouble comprehending. "You'll still come into the bar occasionally, right?"

Embry shook his head. "That'll be a little hard to do from Seattle," he answered quietly, making Leah's eyes widen. "I've been offered a job with a construction company down there. Better hours, better pay, much closer to home. I need to be home, I think. I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you for two weeks. Nate's arrival solved that problem for me."

The she-wolf's stomach clenched painfully. "Oh," she whispered. "You're leaving? You're… really leaving. Stop looking like that!" she snapped, forcing aside her sadness when guilt rippled across his face. "You have no reason to feel guilty over choosing what's best for you!"

She stepped up to him and took his face in her hands. "Embry Call, you are one of the best men I've ever known and you deserve so much more than me. I'll miss you, I really, really will, but you know I'm all about choices, and you finally putting yourself first is the best choice. You'll stay in contact, won't you? Let me know how you're doing?"

Embry stared into her eyes, the grief in his gaze multiplying exponentially until it was all she could see. An almost silent groan fell from his lips. He stepped back from her with a rough jerk and turned away.

"A-ah… ah, yeah. Umm, in a bit. Maybe just… just give me a little time, okay?"

Leah bit her bottom lip as she stared at his rigid back. She'd hurt him. Again. Shit, why couldn't she just _think?_ Of course he's not going to want to talk to her! She'd just broken his fucking heart!

"Yeah, okay," she muttered, silently calling herself all sorts of uncomplimentary names. Embry nodded stiffly.

"I should… I should go. I've really got to go."

He turned around and scooped up his bag, avoiding her eyes, then headed for the door. Leah watched him helplessly, but turned away when his hand touched the knob. She didn't want to see him walk out of her life.

"Lee?"

Leah's head snapped around in surprise. "Yeah?"

"Did you at least get to talk to him? After all that… did you get to speak to him before he left?"

A sardonic snort escaped her at the question. "No. Approaching him butt naked definitely wouldn't have given the right impression, and the sleepwear probably wouldn't have either. I didn't really think it through when I shot out of here. How did you know it was him, anyway?"

Embry shrugged. "It wasn't hard," he answered, watching her coolly, his expression closed. "He's the only one you'd ever react so enthusiastically for. You know, the choices you make aren't always set in stone. You can change your mind. Sometimes, what you think is the right thing to do turns out to be a decision you come to regret. I really hope that you're not cutting off your nose to spite your face."

With that, he opened the door and walked out of the apartment, leaving Leah confused and agitated, deeply sad, and once again, alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Choices**

Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Twilight.

**Chapter Seven**

_With that, he opened the door and walked out of the apartment, leaving Leah confused and agitated, deeply sad, and once again, alone._

* * *

After Embry left, Leah's life became… difficult. If a long, deep, black hole could be described as difficult. It seemed as if Embry really had been her anchor. Without him keeping her steady, keeping her afloat, the cavity in her chest grew, pulsing and swarming, swallowing her up and spreading through her entire body until it was all she was. All she would ever be. The imprint's punishment had returned with a vengeance, and this time it was _so_ much worse.

She stopped sleeping. She stopped eating. Leah stopped doing anything that didn't involve quietly drowning in the pain of her denied imprint. She lost weight as if it was melting off her, becoming unhealthily thin and pale, but couldn't find it in herself to care.

And it wasn't only her suffering. Her wolf was dying right along with her, her constant whimpers and howls keeping Leah up at night as much as the hole in her centre was. Letting the wolf out didn't make it any better. The pull hit them just as hard when they were on four paws instead of two legs, but at least when they were wolf, they could lose themselves in the lupine, making it easier to… _comprehend_ the punishment better.

As a human, the horrid, soul-wrenching pull was mixed in with feelings of guilt and self-loathing, determination, vast loneliness and a single, golden belief that what they were doing was the right thing. The _best_ thing. Nate's life would be better, _was_ better, without them in it, and _nothing_ was going to make them waver from that decision. Those emotions mixed with the painful pull and deepened both it and them, but when they were in the wolf's body, they were able to embrace their animal instincts, ignore the human, and just essentially be a wolf.

It involved a lot of running. Leah made sure to keep just enough control to pull the wolf back when the imprint overpowered the lupine instincts, which, unsurprisingly, happened quite regularly. But even that was different. It was as if the wolf _believed_ it deserved the punishment, so was able to accept and deal with it better. The imprint was instinctual to the wolf in a way it definitely wasn't to Leah, so she saw the punishment as something that was unavoidable, given that her human counterpart was rejecting what was natural. She didn't fight the punishment, didn't try to deny and not feel it, so it was easier to deal with. Leah had tried to follow that example, but hadn't been able to breathe through the resulting pain.

When the pull got too strong, as it always inevitably did, and Leah wasn't able to stop the wolf from reacting to it, she phased back. But the time where the wolf was an animal that did what animals did was a much needed reprieve from the pulsing and painful hollowness, resulting in Leah spending a lot of time on four legs.

After a year, it also resulted in Leah losing her job.

It was widely known that a bartender's unspoken job was to be a sounding board for their customers. Many people came a bar to drink away their sorrows, spewing out those sorrows to a willing-to-listen ear in the process. Leah didn't want to do that. She had her own troubles, why should she listen to the troubles of others, when all that did was make her feel worse? And then there was the fact that smiling had become a foreign concept to the she-wolf. A bartender that constantly wore a dower expression, or answered with a snappy remark when a customer tried to unload, wasn't good for business. After the fourth complaint, Leah's boss took her aside.

It was a speech full of understanding, support and offering to get Leah the help her boss felt she needed, but all Leah heard was that if she didn't stop coming in late or missing work altogether, as well as start smiling and acting happier, she could kiss her job goodbye.

She walked out that night and didn't go back.

It proved to be a decision she would come to regret. As most of the time she found it all but impossible to get out of bed, let alone go out and look for another job, it was only the money she'd saved over the years she was with Embry had kept a roof over her head. When she wasn't in wolf form, she spend most days staring numbingly at the TV, and most nights staring numbingly at the ceiling of her bedroom. She didn't need to worry about food because she hardly ate, and when she got sick of the four walls of her apartment, she went into the city and wandered aimlessly.

It was a broken down car on a deserted backstreet that finally gave Leah's life a little meaning again. She was on her way back to her apartment, her dragging body telling her that she really needed to try to get some sleep, when she came across the car and its more than frustrated driver. He was standing next to the open hood, staring into its depths with a clueless, agitated expression on his face.

"Stupid fucking car. You couldn't have died _before_ Bucky left town? Nina's gonna have my nuts in a vice if I make her come all the way out here!"

The furious muttering made Leah pause, as did the way he stood back and kicked the tire, before letting out a heavy sigh. He reached into the pocket of his suit jacket, pulled out his cell phone and then groaned loudly.

"Oh, come on! You've got to be kidding me!"

The exasperated cry had Leah heading over, curiosity surprisingly piqued.

"Excuse me, sir? Is everything all right?"

The man started, turning at her question, eyes wide. He relaxed, smiling sheepishly when he saw that Leah wasn't a masked mugger, about to take him for all he had.

"Not really. I'm in a bit of a pickle. Both my car and my phone are dead."

Leah nodded, figuring that was the case. "I can take a look if you like? At your car, I mean. You're on your own with your phone."

Salt and pepper eyebrows rose high, dark blue eyes surveying her curiously. "You're a mechanic?"

"Well, no, but I do know a little about cars. I haven't dabbled in a while, but I am here, so what's the harm? If I can't figure it out, you can borrow my phone."

The offer confused the she-wolf even as she made it. Why was she involving herself in some random stranger's affairs, when the dislike of that was why she'd lost her job? Why did she care?

Not able to answer that question, she ignored it and waited for the man to think it over. He regarded her for a moment and then shrugged.

"Knowing a little about cars is more than me. Okay, may as well give it a go."

He stepped back to make room, and Leah took his place. She saw the problem as soon as she looked at the engine, which was surprising considering how rusty she was. Pursing her lips, she stepped back again and looked at the car's owner.

"You want the good news or the bad news?"

The man grimaced. "I don't suppose saying that would qualify as the bad news?" he asked hopefully, sighing at Leah's sympathetic shake of her head. "Didn't think so. All right then, bad news first."

"You're dead in the water," the she-wolf stated bluntly, making the man groan. "I'm surprised you were able to get it started at all. Your ignition coil and spark plugs are completely corroded. The car's not going anywhere until they've been replaced."

"Great. Just great," the man sighed. "That'll teach me for ignoring the check engine light. So, what's the good news, then?"

"My phone is fully charged and available," Leah said with a small smile. "I can even recommend a good mechanic if you need one."

The man let out a slight laugh, running his hand through his thick, greying hair. "No, that's okay, my sister and brother-in-law manage a garage. I'll just call Nina and get a tow."

"Your sister and brother-in-law manage a garage and you _ignored_ your check engine light?" Leah questioned as she pulled out her phone, an eyebrow arching in amusement. The man grimaced.

"Yes, I know, I've heard it all before," he grumbled, taking the phone. Leah couldn't help grinning a little, the expression feeling decidedly out-of-place.

It had been a long time since she'd found something amusing enough to grin.

"Nina? It's me. Mathew. I'm ringing from someone else's phone, that's why. Listen, can you come pick me up? And, ah, bring the tow-truck? Yes, yes, I know. I know. I know!"

The conversation carried on in that vein for a while, Leah hiding her smile the whole time, before the man told the person on the other end where he was and hung up. He handed the phone back with a grateful smile.

"She should be here in half an hour or so. Thanks so much for stopping. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't."

"I'm sure you would've figured something out," Leah said, recognizing a dismissal when she heard one. Shrugging mentally, she turned to head back the way she'd come. "Just don't ignore the check engine light next time!"

"Now you sound like my sister," the man muttered, making Leah smile again as she walked away.

"Hey!"

Stopping at the shout, Leah turned back with a questioning crook of her head. The man was standing there with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You save my ass and I don't even know you're name."

The she-wolf leant back on her heels and regarded the man. "It's Leah."

"Leah…?"

He pursed his lips and nodded slowly when all Leah did was continue to look at him silently.

"Okay, fair enough. You can't be too careful these days. Well, Leah no-last-name, you don't happen to be jobless, do you?"

Eye narrowing just a touch, Leah's voice was perfectly pleasant when she answered.

"Now, why would you want to know that?"

"Oh, it's nothing untoward," the man countered quickly, holding up his hands. "It's just that, you know that garage I mentioned my sister and brother-in-law manage? One of their apprentices quit the other day and I thought maybe, if you're available…"

Leah blinked. "You're offering me a job?" she asked slowly, trying to get her head around the fact. The man shook his head.

"No. I'm recommending you. Not many people would stop and offer help to a complete stranger, and even less would do it if they were female. It's a refreshing attitude, and one my brother-in-law will appreciate as much as I do. To get the job, you'll have to meet him and Nina and go through the interview process and all that, but I'd be happy to put in a good word."

He reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet and offered Leah a small, white card.

"Give them a call if you want. It's up to you."

Leah stared at the card in the man's hand for a long moment, her own hands clenched at her side. How was it possible that an opportunity had just been handed to her, out-of-the-blue? Talking to and helping this man had been one of only a handful of times in the year since Embry had left, that her mind hadn't been consumed with thoughts of Nate and the punishment the imprint was putting her through. The distraction he'd provided had been a breath of fresh air. Maybe that's what she needed to keep looking for? A distraction? Taking that card would go a long way to providing that distraction.

Her hand was reaching for it before she'd fully finished the thought.

"Umm… thanks. I'll give them a call."

The man smiled. "You do that. Bucky's out of town for the next fortnight, but Nina's around. Just tell her Mathew Hewitt told you to ring. If I didn't know for a fact that she's in a pisser of a mood at the moment, I'd suggest you hang around until she shows up."

_Ah. Well, that explains why he wanted me to go earlier. He didn't want me to see him getting a tongue lashing from his sister._

That slight smile came back, the heaviness in Leah's eyes lightening a little. "No, that's okay, it's getting late and I need to get home. But… thank you. Really. I'll call her first thing tomorrow."

"You helped me first," Mathew answered with a smile and a nonchalant shrug. "A favour for a favour and all that. I'll let her know you'll be calling."

Leah nodded, lifted her hand in a slight wave, and then continued on her way home. She looked down at the card in her hand as she walked. Her brows rose when she recognized the name of a well-known chain that had garages all over the country.

_Vera's Auto Repairs – For all your Auto Requirements. Buck and Nina Buchannan, co-managers, 555-6782._

Lifting the card, she tapped it against her lips, rounded the corner and approached her building. It sounded _exactly_ like the distraction she needed.

~0~

Getting the job was easy. As well as being thankful for Leah helping him out, Nina Buchannan valued her brother's opinion highly, despite him knowing zip about cars. She trusted him, and if he said that someone was worth at least a trial, then that trial was more than likely to happen.

Plus, it helped that Leah proved herself. Though she was rusty, the repairs that were her first test were easy as pie, and she passed with flying colours. She began as a full-time apprenticeship the following week.

It was mind-consuming work. The she-wolf couldn't really focus on anything else when her head was under a hood, freeing her from the imprint just a little. And although she still didn't sleep much, or eat more than a single meal a day, she found she didn't have to spent as much time in wolf form, just so she could function.

Her bosses were good people who respected the privacy of others, which Leah greatly appreciated. Besides asking her the initial interview questions and running the customary background check, they pried no further. Nina was short, buxom blonde, sharp as a tack, with balls to match. Leah found her respect for the woman growing in leaps and bounds the longer she worked for her.

Buck, or 'Bucky' as everyone called him, was a silent creature who watched and saw _everything._ He was tall and reedy, with long, just-starting-to-thin red hair and a startlingly loud laugh. Leah didn't speak to him much, as his eyes on her made her uncomfortable.

Trust her to get a boss who saw more than the average human.

Mathew hung around a lot more than Leah realized he was going to. And even with throwing herself into the job and spending the rest of her sparse spare time in wolf form, after a while it wasn't hard to figure out why.

Those types of signals were universal, especially for a she-wolf with supernaturally enhanced senses.

Leah knew he was interested in her, and she also knew he struggled with that fact, as he was in creeping up on his late forties, and she looked barely older than twenty-five. Phasing at nineteen had frozen Leah at that age for nearly a decade, unlike the boys, who'd sprouted like weeds and ended up looking ten years older than their numerical ages. Once she'd left Nate, however, the ageing process had restarted; albeit very, _very_ slowly. She had no idea why she was aging again, though she did suspect it had something to do with letting the wolf out so irregularly right after she'd left, and then not phasing for the three years she was with Embry.

In contrast, her cycle hadn't started again. It just proved that she really was the genetic dead-end she'd always thought she was.

While she knew all that, what she didn't know was _why_ Mathew was seeing her as a potential girlfriend. She definitely didn't give him any encouragement. Sure, she was friendly, smiled politely and said hello to him when he came to the garage. He was the reason she was no longer sitting and staring at nothing for hours on end, after all, not to mention he was her boss's brother. But she never went out of her way to talk to him, never let her eyes linger, never deliberately touched him. If anything, she tried to avoid situations where she'd end up being close or alone with him.

But still, according to Nina, he came to the garage a lot more often than he had before she'd begun working there; where _he _went out of his way to talk to _her. _Then there were those times she'd caught him looking at her longer than a friendly acquaintance should.

He hadn't tried to touch her, for which she was thankful. She really didn't feel like breaking the hand of the best example of a friend she had.

Deciding it was best to ignore the issue, Leah did just that. Her life moved on, and before she knew it, two more years had gone by. She fast-tracked her apprenticeship, spending as much time at the garage as she could, getting a better position and a pay rise as a result. She still kept to herself most of the time, avoiding making friends with her bosses and the people she worked with, and Mathew still came to see her whenever he could.

That crush of his was fucking persistent.

He was trying, once again, to draw her into conversation one Tuesday morning, when the wind shifted and Leah's spine snapped straight.

Bleach. Cloyingly sweet, sickening and unnatural, it invaded her nostrils and burnt the back of her throat. Leah's eyes narrowed on the door, Mathew's voice fading into the background. She _knew_ that scent. She hadn't come across it in a decade, but that didn't mean she didn't recognize it.

And this scent was well-known to her in particular.

The door opened and Nina walked into the workshop, a tall, statuesque blonde following her, that perfect nose screwed up in disgust. Her head whipped around and there gazes collided.

Honey gold.

"Well, if it isn't Bloodsucking Barbie," Leah drawled, a smirk lighting her face. Beside her, Mathew blinked in shock, mouth dropping open. Across the room, Nina gasped.

"_Leah!"_

"It's okay, Nina, Leah and I go way back," Rosalie Hale assured her, turning to the she-wolf and folding her arms across her chest, a slight sneer kicking up the corner of her mouth. "Hello, mutt. Long-time no see. What are you doing here?"

"I work here," Leah answered, frowning when Rosalie snorted.

"You work here? For me? You work for me? Oh, that's just priceless," she snickered, making Leah scowl further.

"I don't work for you. I work for Nina and Bucky."

"Who manage the place for the owner. AKA, me."

Disbelief flashed through Leah, followed quickly by a little shock and a boatload of resignation. She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, shoulders slumping. Fucking great. She'd known the big boss was coming for a visit, she just hadn't expected it to be a bloody Cullen. Was it even possible for her to have a _normal_ life?

"And as your boss, I decree that you're due for a lunch break. Get your stuff, Clearwater."

Surprise had Leah's eyes snapping back to Rosalie, whose golden gaze was focused on her intently. She was frowning, something like suspicion in her eyes. Leah's scowl returned.

"You may be the big boss, _Rose_, but Nina's still the one who pays my wages. I do what she says, not you."

Rosalie's lips twisted into an irritated snarl. She quickly opened her mouth to reply, but was just as quickly interrupted by Nina.

"She's right, though, you are due your lunch break. Go, go, we'll see you in an hour," she said, waving her hands at the she-wolf. Leah scowled again. Rosalie smirked.

"I'll meet you out front. And do hurry up, won't you? I haven't got all day."

She turned around and sauntered out, blond hair flowing behind her.

~0~

"You look like shit."

The abrupt statement made Leah raise a humourless brow.

"Stop, you're making me blush," she deadpanned, sitting back in the chair and folding her arms. She and Rosalie were sitting in a café a block away from the garage, cups of untouched coffee sitting in front of them. Though she hadn't said a word, Rosalie's gaze had sharpened when the waitress had taken their order and all Leah had asked for was coffee. Now, she ran that gaze over the other woman's form, something a lot like disapproval furrowing her stone forehead.

"It's true. You look like death warmed up. You're skinny and far too pale. You look weak. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me," Leah answered defensively, scowl once again returning.

"Really?" Rosalie countered, tone cool. "If you got into a fight with Paul at the moment, my money would go on him. He'd rip you to shreds."

Irritation surging through Leah, she got to her feet. "I didn't come here to be talked down to. I'm going back to work."

"Sit _down, _Leah!_"_

The hiss had the she-wolf spinning back around, disbelief dropping her jaw.

"Are you _threatening_ me, leech?"

"_No!_" Rosalie growled, placing her hands on the table and leaning forward, pearly-white teeth on full display. "I'm _trying_ to figure out why you look the way Bella did when we came back to Forks all those years ago! What happened to hot-tempered badass who took no prisoners and suffered no fools? All I'm seeing is a pale, washed-out version of that woman, and _I don't like it!_"

This time Leah's jaw dropped for another reason. She blinked rapidly as surprise flooded her, her body lowering back into the chair as she stared at the vampire across the table. As if realizing what she'd just said, Rosalie blinked as well, and if it were possible, Leah was sure colour would've bloomed in her cheeks.

The silence was awkward, to say the least.

"You helped me learn to control my temper in most situations, remember?" Leah finally joked, hoping that the weak attempt at humour would defuse the unexpected tension. It seemed to work, as Rosalie sat back down as well. She scoffed.

"Yes, but only so you'd stop exploding into an animal every chance you got. God knows how we kept our cover for so long."

"Hey, it wasn't just me who phased all the time!" Leah protested, smiling slightly when Rosalie rolled her eyes. She picked up her coffee and took a sip, grimacing at the taste of the stone-cold liquid.

"So, you're less-than-healthy appearance. That have anything to do with you abandoning your imprint for ten years?"

The coffee spewed across the table as Leah gasped and choked, the porcelain cup hitting the tabletop with a distinct _clink._

"_Excuse me?"_

"Well, that's what you did, isn't it?" Rosalie smirked. "Run as soon as the going got tough? Left the kid to his own devises?"

Fury had Leah's fingers curling into tight fists. She leant forward and growled right in the vampire's face.

"I did _not_ abandon Nate! How can you say that? I would _never_ do that! I left because it's what he wanted, and because it was the _right_ thing to do! How do you even know about him, anyway? I haven't seen you in over a decade!"

Rosalie grinned. "You forget, mutt, that Nessie's my niece, and in about two weeks' time, she's getting married to your Alpha dog. The whole family knows about your imprint issues."

The wedding reminder cooled Leah's ardour slightly, her mind flicking to the invitation she'd received in the mail a couple of months before. She hadn't realized it was so close. Of course, she couldn't go, and after some initial arguing, Jacob had understood that, but she had planned on calling and wishing them well. Her mother would have her head if she didn't.

Sitting back with a huff, she glared at the blonde across from her. "And what, pray tell, does it have to do with you?"

"Anything to do with Renesmee has to do with me," Rosalie answered simply, a perfectly arched brow rising, as if it should've been obvious. "You not going to the wedding is upsetting Jacob more than he's ready to admit, which in turn is upsetting Nessie. The girl can get quite vocal when she's pissed off, and your stubbornness is pissing her off."

Leah smiled, the expression not at all friendly. "Do I look like I care what the brat thinks? I _can't_ go to the wedding. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I _can't!"_

"Who says you can't?" Rosalie shot back. "Nate's, what, nineteen now? He's more than old enough to make up his own mind about you and the imprint. He's not a kid anymore. You need to stop treating him like one."

"I'm not treating him like a kid!" the she-wolf growled, ignoring the voice at the back of her mind that disagreed with that statement. "I'm _protecting_ him! I'm giving him back the choices that were taken away from him the day I looked into his eyes!"

"What about the choices you running takes away from him, Leah?" Rosalie snapped, leaning forward. "You're a choice, aren't you? A life with you is a choice. And I'm not just talking about the sexual side of things, though that's a choice as well. It doesn't have to be a sexual relationship! Not if he doesn't want it!"

Leaning forwards as well, Leah met the blonde halfway, her fingers just _itching_ to smack that superior expression off her too-perfect face. "What right do _you_ have to comment about an imprint? You're a vampire, for fuck's sake!"

"Who has her own predestined mate to deal with!" Rosalie hissed, eyes alight with frustration. "I know exactly what you're going through! You don't think I wanted to run after Emmett was turned and I realized exactly what he was to me? You don't think I _still_ want to run occasionally, even now? The connection between us is eternally unbreakable, Leah! I know _exactly_ how scary that thought is! But staying with him makes it all worthwhile, because, even though it's terrifying at times, and claustrophobic, and just makes me want to escape, he's my whole life! I can't, no, I _don't want_ to imagine a world without him in it! I love him so much, it physically _hurts_ when he's not around! You may think you're helping Nate by staying away from him, and yeah, you probably are somewhat, but have you considered that you might be causing him more pain by not being there? Hell, look at you! You're half-dead inside! How do you think _he_ feels?"

Leah sat in stupefied silence as Rosalie snapped her mouth shut and sank back into her chair, unnecessary air hissing out between her teeth. She swallowed hard as the vampire's rant circled in her brain repeatedly, the last couple of sentences going around and around. Nate couldn't be feeling as bad as she did, could he? He couldn't.

It wasn't possible.

"The imprintee doesn't feel the connection as strongly as the imprinter," she whispered through numb lips, both her heart and the wolf howling. "They don't. It's a fact."

"Yes, but they still feel it, don't they?" the other woman answered quietly, tension draining from her shoulders. "Plus, he won't know _why_ he feels as bad as he does. He must feel like there's something wrong with him, wanting something for ten years, but not knowing what it is or why he wants it so badly. I know I would if I were him."

She rose to her feet and pulled a twenty out of her back pocket, throwing it on the table to cover the cost of the drinks. Leah didn't move. She didn't think she _could_ move.

"Just think about it, would you?" Rosalie suggested, voice still quiet. "Not everything is black and white. Sometimes the ends justify the means, but sometimes, they really, really don't."

She lifted her hand, and after a slight hesitation, rested it on Leah's shoulder and squeezed. The touch was so brief; the she-wolf might've thought she'd imagined it.

"Better get back to work, mutt. Don't want to have to dock your pay."

The vampire was gone before Leah could even begin to react.

~0~

Leah sat at her kitchen table much later that night, staring into the dark as her mind continued to endlessly circle the argument she'd had with Rosalie. She couldn't get it out of her head. It was as if what the vampire had said had burrowed itself into her brain and set up permanent residence. And her new neighbour wasn't the nicest person to live beside.

Was Nate really suffering as much as she was? The thought made Leah feel physically ill. Why had she never thought of that? Him having the best life he could have had been the reason she'd left in the first place, and now it gets shoved in her face that her leaving maybe made his life worse? How was she supposed to deal with that?

_You don't think I wanted to run after Emmett was turned and I realized exactly what he was to me?_

The remembered words had Leah baring her teeth in frustration. She wasn't _running!_ Why was everyone insisting that she was? Her decision to leave had been made because it was the best thing for Nate! The way _she_ felt about the kid and their imprint had nothing to do with it! Nate was all that mattered!

_If he's all that matters, why are you sitting alone in your kitchen, a whole state away from him, when there's a chance he could be hurting? Why are you not finding out if he is?_

Lunging for her cell phone, Leah quickly punched in the number. There was one person who would have the answer she needed.

The phone rang several times before it was answered.

"'Lo? Whassit?"

Jake's voice was slurred with sleep, making Leah's heart squeeze unexpectedly, her throat tightening. Until that moment, she hadn't realized how much she'd missed him.

"'Lo? Ugh, Paul, if ya prank callin' me-"

"Jacob."

"Leah?" The dopiness cleared from his voice in an instant. In the background, Leah heard a soft, feminine voice murmur in question.

"Yeah, it's me."

"What's wrong? Are you all right?"

The sharp question made Leah smile a little. "Nothing's wrong. I just need to ask you a question."

"At half three in the morning?" Jacob whined, relaxing now that he knew she wasn't in any trouble. "I just got in from patrol, Lee. It couldn't have waited until the sun was at least up?"

"No," Leah answered firmly, "no, it can't. I need to know now. And you need to answer truthfully, Jake. Don't spare my feelings."

A short pause. "Okay," Jacob finally replied, drawing out the word. There was the sound of rustling sheets, a returning murmur to Renesmee, and then the padding of bare feet and a door opening and closing. "All right, hit me."

"Is me staying away from Nate hurting him more than helping him?"

The answering silence was deafening. Leah swallowed hard as her wolf snarled and spat in her head, her heart pounding, booming through her suddenly tense body, her muscles so tight, they trembled. The emptiness surged, clawing at her throat, and the pull… it felt like it was tearing her apart.

How could she have gotten it so wrong?

"Jake?" she whispered, pulling her knees up and curling into a ball, "please say something. Please tell me that in making this decision, I haven't ended up making things worse."

Jacob's sigh was heavy. "I can't do that, Lee. You're the one who wanted me to be truthful."

_Oh, God._

"Tell me," she ordered, voice rough. Jake sighed again.

"First off, you have to know that no one knew it was going to be as bad as it was. None of us has ever been away from our imprints for longer than a week or so. None of us has ever _fought_ it like you did. I know it's because you thought it was best for him," he added hastily when a low growl slipped from Leah against her will. "And that's the basis of the imprint, so no one holds it against you-"

Leah snorted at that. With both packs chock-a-block full of imprinting, how could they _not_ hold hurting an imprint against her?

"-but since no one's ever done what you did, we were all a little shocked at how hard it hit him. And it didn't help that he hid it from everyone. If he'd just come to us, we could've-"

"For fuck's sake, Jacob, stop beating around the bush! _Tell me!_"

"He went off the rails, okay?" Jake blurted, sighing when another low rumble echoed in his ear. "It, ah, it wasn't pretty for a while. Sex, drugs, alcohol. A lot of alcohol. Getting into fights and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Getting in trouble with the law. We thought he was just being a normal, surly teenager, rebelling and all that shit, but it turned out to be quite a bit more than that. He's past it all now, back on the right track, but for a while he caused everyone a lot of grief. Himself included."

The wolf howled. Leah stared blankly at the kitchen table, her grip on the cell tightening so much, she heard the plastic creak. There was an expectant silence on the other end of the line, but she found she couldn't fill it. There weren't words to describe how she was feeling.

"Leah?"

"And I did that?" she croaked, fist pressed against the pain in her chest. "I sent him down that path?"

Jacob hesitated. "Your, ah… broken connection played a large part, yes, or at least we think it did," he hedged. "He didn't want to talk about it at the time and it's still not a favourite topic now."

_Broken connection._

That was what it was, wasn't it? A broken connection. Both of them were still functioning, but neither was functioning _right._ The connection was broken.

And Nate had suffered because of it.

The world dimmed, Leah's eyes widening as her pulse raced and her breath caught. Then, as abruptly as the tide had drawn back, everything surged back into focus, in crystal-clear, life changing clarity.

"Set another place at my brother's table, Jake."

The out-of-the-blue statement had confusion colouring Jacob's voice. "Huh?"

"Consider this my belated RSVP," Leah said as sat up in her chair, resolution straightening her spine and firming her jaw. "I'm coming to the wedding."

* * *

**A/N - The author is not a mechanic, nor does she know a single thing about cars and their inner workings, so encourages the readers to blame the internet if the mechanical information in this chapter happens to be wrong. ;) **


	8. Chapter 8

**Choices**

Disclaimer: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood…? Okay, that had nothing to do with a disclaimer, as a woodchuck wouldn't own Twilight. And neither do I. Ahem. Anyway…

**Chapter Eight**

"_Consider this my belated RSVP," Leah said as sat up in her chair, resolution straightening her spine and firming her jaw. "I'm coming to the wedding."_

* * *

Leaning forward with her hands clamped to the sides of a water fountain, her arms tense and rigid with her head hanging down between them, Leah drew in deep, hitching breaths between tightly clenched teeth. She was standing outside the terminal of William Fairchild International Airport in Port Angeles, trying desperately to calm her racing heart. Her stomach was twisted into large, nauseous knots, her limbs were trembling, the hollow cavern in her chest was ringing deeply, pulsating through her entire being, and the pull in her centre felt like it was literally turning her inside out. The hook dragged at her relentlessly, and her body shook with the need to leave, to go, to get her ass on the road.

The wold howled in her head. Nate was only a little over an hour away, give or take, and that one solid fact was tearing her to pieces.

She would _not_ leave while she was like this. Leah felt like a drug addict in desperate need of a fix; and though Nate was nineteen now, no longer a child, she would not allow herself to show up on his doorstep after ten years, trembling from head to toe. She just _wouldn't. _He didn't know her anymore – if he'd ever really known her in the first place – and showing up out-of-the-blue, crazed and sniffing him as if he was the world's most fragrant perfume would probably just freak him the fuck out. Leah was aiming for normal.

Or as normal as possible, anyway.

Squeezing her eyes shut so hard her lids ached, she sucked in another deep breath. In complete contrast to the screaming pull inside, the absolute _ease_ of breathing deeply made her let out a feeble chuckle, the sound wheezing out between her exhales. She felt as if a large weight had been lifted off her chest, her lungs opening and closing in full, contracting movements for the first time since she'd left the rez. It was dizzying, that contrast, which made the pull all that harder to resist.

A tremble shaking her frame so violently it was more of a seizure than a shake, Leah groaned, the solid metal of the fountain compressing like aluminium under her fingers. Fuck. This wasn't working. Sooner or later some kind-hearted idiot was going to ask her if she was okay, and then shit was going to hit the fan. It would only take a single break in concentration-

"Miss? Is everything all right?"

_Speak of the fucking devil._

"Can I call someone for you or-"

"No need for that, sir, her ride's here. Thanks for the concern, though."

The decidedly female voice was unfamiliar. Leah blinked open her eyes and frowned, not wanting to risk lifting her head to see who the person claiming to be her ride was. But when the do-gooder murmured something and walked away, and the stranger reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, she didn't really have a choice. She turned her head in a minute movement and peered at the woman from under her arm.

Dark eyes peered back at her, a thick, black brow rising to meet just-as-black hair cut shorter than Alice Cullen's. Leah frowned again as her eyes ran over tanned, Native American features. There was something about that face…

Ten years disappeared in her memory. Leah's jaw dropped.

"Claire?"

"Hello cousin," Claire Young greeted, smiling at the woman gaping up at her. "Having fun down there? Or are you ready to hit the road?"

"What are you doing here?" Leah rasped, momentarily distracted from the pull by a girl who had clearly become a woman in the years she'd been away. Claire's brow rose further.

"Gosh, whatever could I possibly be here for?" she asked dryly, smirking when Leah's eyes narrowed. "Were you not listening? I'm your ride, cuz. Aunt Emily got dragged into going dress shopping with the Vamps and Nessie, so here I am. I had to fight Jake for the privilege, but since I'm coming from Seattle and it makes more sense for me to pick you up on my way down, I won. I probably would've had to fight Seth and Sue as well, if they'd known you were coming. Why didn't you tell them, by the way?"

_Because I didn't know whether I'd actually be getting on the plane, _Leah thought, holding back another groan as the hook pulled painfully. She'd lost count of how many times she'd changed her mind over the last week. Deciding to go to the wedding had been one thing; actually doing it was something entirely different.

_What if he doesn't want me to come? How's he going to react when he sees me? Will he still hate me? Will I make his life worse by showing up after ten years? Is this _really_ the right thing for Nate?_

The anxiety-ridden thoughts circled her brain endlessly. They were there when she'd rung her landlord and given up her apartment, they'd tumbled through the back of her mind when she'd walked into Nina's office and handed in her notice, they'd shouted at her when she'd gone online and booked her ticket. They never left her alone, and as a result, Leah hadn't let anyone apart from Jacob and Emily know she was coming. She hadn't wanted to get her brother and mother's hopes up and then not turn up at all.

_Not to mention someone else…_

"So," Claire continued cheerfully when Leah didn't answer aloud, instead concentrating on keeping herself from falling apart. "Are you planning on gripping that fountain for the rest of your life? Because we really do have to get going. I said I'd be there by dusk and Quil will come looking for me if I'm late."

Growling a little under her breath, Leah threw the younger woman a glare. "Oh, I'd love to let go of this fucking fountain, Claire, but it's sort of pulling me apart to move at the moment," she sneered, both the she-wolf and the fountain groaning in unison when Leah's grip tightened. Claire pursed her lips in answer, the hand still on Leah's shoulder rubbing briefly before she stepped back and pulled out her cell phone.

"Hey. Yes. Ah-huh. I don't think she's going to be able to. You're sure? You don't have- okay. Okay, okay. Just don't rush. You can- okay, fine. Okay! We'll see you soon. Yeah. Yeah, bye."

"Who was that?" Leah hissed between her teeth, eyes shut tight as if that would stop the disturbing wrenching in her soul.

"A superhero," Claire answered quietly, the words dying into a sigh. She moved over to settle down beside Leah, her back against the wall and her legs drawn up. "It's not ideal at all, but unless you're suddenly going to embrace the imprint and stop fighting it…" she shook her head ruefully when Leah glared at her again. "Yeah, didn't think so. So this is the only way, and since he's strangely but aversely willing, this is what we'll do."

Leah frowned at the girl. "You do realize how irritatingly cryptic you're being, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Claire answered with a cheeky grin, the expression growing when Leah bared her teeth at her. "Not to worry, cuz, you'll see soon enough. He isn't too far away. Now, tell me all about the last decade."

She looked at Leah expectantly, shrugged when the older woman ignored her request, and then began to chatter herself, telling Leah about life on the Quileute and Makah reservations, her family, what she was studying at UDub, how Quil was, and how she and her girlfriend had just had their one-year anniversary-

_Wait. Hold up._

_Girlfriend?_

Leah's gaze zeroed in on her cousin with the intention of getting her to repeat that last statement. But before she could open her mouth to question the girl, her insides imploded.

Or at least that's what it felt like. Her entire body abruptly hollowed out, a screaming, buzzing, rushing feeling filling the void and _pitching._ Mouth open in a silent bellow of shock, Leah's legs gave out and buckled under her. At the same time, her head shot around so quickly, her neck clicked with a painful and sickening snap.

A car was pulling into the parking lot; a shiny, blue 1967 Ford Mustang Convertible, which at any other time Leah would've drooled over. Now, however, all she was concerned about was who was behind the wheel. Her neck craned.

She _knew._

The pull yanked and screeched. The driver's door opened, and for the first time in ten years as a human, Leah looked into the icy-blue eyes of her imprint.

"Hello, Leah."

He was different. So very different. Leah gaped, her gaze running over Nate's face and body, noting the changes that had occurred in the three years since she'd seen him last. His face was finer, more angled than at sixteen, and in contrast, his body had bulked out. He wasn't packed with muscle in any sense of the word, but what he was carrying fit him like a glove. He'd grown taller than her, standing at 6'2", give or take an inch; slimming down the added muscle and giving him a rangy, almost lanky appearance. He was finally wearing clothes that fit him, the jeans and AC/DC t-shirt enhancing the body he looked like he'd put some work into. Leah swallowed hard and slowly lifted her gaze to meet the eyes that were watching her with an unfathomable expression, his jet-black hair sweeping his brows.

Nathaniel Green could no longer be classified as a kid in any way, shape or form. He'd very clearly grown up.

"Hello," she uttered softly, blinking and baffled by both him as an adult, as well as the completely non-existent pull in her centre. The affliction she'd been living with for a decade was gone. Just gone. She cleared her throat. "N-Nate. Umm… hello."

All he did was stare in response.

"Soooo… this is awkward. Yes. Well. Ah, shall we get this show on the road, then? Leah can move now, so…?"

Both Leah and Nate briefly ignored the question from Claire, Nate breaking the stare-down before the she-wolf did. He slowly moved his head towards the other woman and nodded, eyes still showing no emotion. Then, with another unreadable glance at Leah – who found herself unable to take her eyes off him – he stepped back into the car.

The panic shouldn't have been as surprising as it was.

"Wait!"

She lurched to her feet as the car started and pulled out into the lot, heading for the exit. Taking a step to follow, she stopped, head whipping around when a hand gripped her upper arm and tugged her back.

"Oh, put those teeth away, would you? You need to give him time, Lee. Nate has things he needs to sort out in his head before he can talk to you properly, and you need to get in the car with me so that I can explain a couple of things myself. He didn't have the normal life you were aiming to give him when you left."

"He's going to the rez?" Leah demanded, eyes flicking back to the rapidly disappearing car. Claire nodded.

"Yeah. Jacob and Nessie planned the wedding so that we wouldn't have to take time off school. Nate and I are both travelling down from UDub and will be in La Push for the week. You'll have plenty of time to see him before we go back to Seattle."

"He's going to UDub? What's he studying? No, never mind, we've gotta go. Come on, come, move your ass!"

"Okay, okay!" Claire laughed, shaking her head and getting to her feet. "Someone's eager all of a sudden. This way, then."

She headed out into the lot, and after grabbing her bag, Leah quickly followed. It was weird to be suddenly able to move when it had been all but impossible not five minutes before. She took a deep breath and revelled in the ability to be _able_ to breathe. No yanking pull, no cavern in her chest or sickness, just the steadily growing compulsion to follow and catch up with Nate.

After ten years of a deep, black hole, a little compulsion was nothing she couldn't deal with.

Claire led her to an old, sea-green Subaru. She got in the passenger side and threw her bag in the back, and soon they were driving out of the lot and onto the highway. Leah kept her eyes on the horizon, hoping they'd be able to see the Mustang at any minute.

"He drives pretty fast. I doubt we'll catch up."

Turning her head a fraction of an inch, Leah eyed her cousin. Claire had her hands on the wheel confidently, pushing the car at a steady pace that was a little too slow for the she-wolf's liking. Leah swallowed thickly, the events of the past hour making questions and confusion jump around her head.

"He knows?" she asked quietly, choking a little on the words. Claire glanced at her, sympathy quickly eclipsing her surprise.

"Yeah, he knows."

"About… everything?"

"About the wolves and imprinting and you imprinting on him and everything."

_Oh, God. _"How?" the she-wolf rasped, again trying desperately to swallow passed the large, painful rock in her throat.

"I told him," the younger woman answered simply. Her head jerked around when a growl echoed through the car. "Stop that! He had every right to know and you weren't here to tell him, were you? And I don't mean that as a criticism, so don't take it as one." She sighed and reached up to run her hand through her hair. "Look, he needed to know, all right? I've known all my life what the pull in my gut was, the emptiness that grows when I'm away from Quil for too long. Nate didn't have a clue what it meant and it was seriously messing with his head. The wolves clearly weren't going to tell him either, having that stupid belief that the imprinter should be the one to tell the imprintee, and him knowing that they were keeping a secret from him wasn't helping at all. So, when we were about thirteen, I told him. Knowing didn't stop him from walking down the wrong path in the following years, but it did help him understand why he was feeling so incomplete; and when Aunt Emily asked me to pick you up on the way down, I let him in on that as well."

Silence filled the car for a short moment. "Oh," Leah finally whispered, a little lost. She sat back, still staring out the front window, but this time not really seeing anything.

Nate knew. He knew about her wolf and her imprinting on him. She didn't… she didn't even know what to think about that.

"Okay, this subject is getting a little too angsty for me. Let's talk about something else, yes? Ideas?"

_Fine by me._

"Earlier, you said you had a girlfriend. How is that possible?"

Claire laughed. The sound drew a reluctant smile from her passenger, confusion seeping around the edges as the other woman shook her head.

"You do realize that that isn't much of a change of subject, don't you?" she asked, still chuckling. Leah frowned.

"Hey, as you just recently pointed out, I haven't been here! I don't know what's going on in everyone's lives!"

"Yeah, okay, I get it," Claire grinned. "Fine, fine. You wanna know why I'm with Melissa and not with Quil?"

Leah nodded, waving her hand in an impatient gesture.

"That's easy to answer. Because the imprint never changed."

The she-wolf frowned. "It never changed?" she repeated, bewildered. Claire shook her head.

"Nope. Actually, I should probably clarify that. It hasn't changed _yet. _Since I like to have my cake and eat it too; no pun intended-" her smirk said otherwise, "-it still may change in the future. Who knows? Right now, I'm more than happy with Melissa and just as happy with Quil as my super annoying best friend. Time will tell, I guess."

Mind spinning, Leah pursed her lips. Huh. So maybe it really didn't have to be sexual. To say the Claire's situation had her sighing in relief would be an understatement. Maybe she could just be Nate's friend and let him choice his own mate? A weight lifted off her shoulders at the thought, and Leah exhaled heavily, once again turning her attention to watching for the Mustang. Her mind drifted as she watched, and since she now had the two important questions of the moment answered, she advertently began to think about on the other questions that swam through her brain constantly, making her scowl.

Nate had suffered and she hadn't known. Why the hell hadn't she known? Why had she had to ring Jacob and _ask _him what was happening to her imprint? He should have let her know the instant they'd realized something was wrong. If they had, this whole thing could've been avoided.

So, why hadn't anyone _told _her?

And then there was Embry. His name in her mind had Leah's scowl deepening, an angry growl rumbling in her chest. She was _positive_ he'd known. The look on his face when she'd told him what the imprint was doing to her… he couldn't _not_ have known.

_And he hadn't told her._

Her hands began to shake. Leah grit her teeth and let out an angry huff, shaking her head as she took deep breaths to calm herself down. Now wasn't the time to let that betrayal get to her. She would ask her questions and they would give her answers, Embry especially, but for the moment she needed to focus on Nate. He was the most important thing, and that thought had her leaning forward to concentrate on looking for the Mustang again; not spotting it until they got to the parking lot of First Beach. Leah's eyes zeroed in on the car, and seeing it was empty, she turned her head to stare at the beach as they passed. She looked over at Claire when she felt the car slow.

"Go talk to him. I'll drop your bag off at Sue's."

Holding the younger woman's gaze, Leah took a deep breath and slowly nodded. It needed to be done and the sooner, the better.

"Thank you," she said, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the door. Claire smiled.

"No problem. Just take it easy, okay? You arriving out-of-the-blue is a lot for him to adjust to."

Leah nodded and got out of the car, waving as Claire drove away. With another steadying breath, she walked down the steps and went after her imprint.

~0~

The beach was deserted. Leah picked her way across the wet stones and sand, eyes on the distant figure sitting on an outcrop of rock watching the waves. Nate didn't look up when she slowly approached and took a seat five feet away from him. He didn't look in her direction at all.

Leah frowned when a shiver ran through his body, goosebumps appearing on the exposed skin of his arms. She had to fight back the urge to remove her jacket and put it around his shoulders, somehow knowing that he wouldn't appreciate it. She sighed and turned her attention to the ocean, hands picking at the ratty bunch of grass growing through the sand beside her knee.

"You haven't changed."

The wind almost swept the quietly spoken sentence out to sea. Leah turned to look at the man next to her, eyes sharp.

"Yes I have," she answered, watching him closely. Nate's eyes flicked in her direction for half a second before he turned back to the view.

"Put on some weight and you'll look the same you did the day you left."

Leah cocked her head. "Wolf genes," she offered quietly, feeling a little weird talking out it out in the open. She frowned again when Nate dipped his chin in a slow nod by didn't answer verbally. She couldn't figure him out, and having no clue whether he was acting normally or not wasn't helping the matter. A long sigh escaped. There was one thing she had to do before this went any further.

"Nate, listen, I need to apologize to you for what happened that day with your fath-"

His bark of laughter shut her up. Leah blinked as the sound echoed across the empty beach, confusion twisting through her. Why was he laughing?

"_That's_ what you're apologizing for?" he spluttered through his laughter, running his hand through his hair and tugging. Leah's confusion morphed to concern as the sound took on a hysterical edge.

"Well, yeah, I need-"

"You don't _need_ to do anything, Leah, and you _especially_ don't need to apologize for that. Not that," he murmured, sighing as his laughter ended as abruptly as it had begun. Leah's eyes narrowed.

"So, what _do_ I need to apologize for?"

Her eyes narrowed further when he threw her a startled glance, something flickering through his gaze that confirmed there _had_ been more to his statement than letting her off the hook. Nate was angry with her for something and it wasn't the fact that she'd betrayed his trust and attacked his father. She frowned and opened her mouth to question him again, closing it when he face shut down and he waved his hand in dismissal.

"Nothing. You don't have to apologize for anything. It's getting late; I've gotta go."

He got to his feet and strode passed her. Leah scrambled off the rock and followed him, quickly reaching for his arm to pull him to a stop. He didn't turn around at her touch, but even with his face turned away, Leah could see the tight, tension-filled lines his features were set in. She frowned helplessly.

"Nate, please, tell me what's wrong."

His head turned minutely, until all she could see was emotionless icy-blue. A shiver ran through Leah that wasn't caused by the cold.

"Nothing's wrong. And even if there was, you wouldn't expect me to tell you, would you? You're a stranger to me, Leah." He jerked his arm from her hold continued up the beach, throwing his words back at her over his shoulder. "You should really go and spend time with your family, you know. Get in as much time as you can before you leave again."

A jolt of surprise snapped sharply through Leah's chest as he veered off towards the surrounding forest. "What? I'm not leaving again. I'm back for good."

The only sign that Nate had heard her was the tiny break in his stride as he disappeared into the woods.

~0~

Deciding the forgo following her imprint when he obviously didn't want her company, Leah wandered back down the beach and walked through the reservation towards her childhood home. Her mind spun as she walked, a small part of it taking note of the fact that the Mustang was no longer in the parking lot. Her first meeting with Nate had pretty much gone as she'd expected it to; the only difference being that he didn't want anything to do with her for an entirely different reason than what she'd been originally thinking. She scowled at the thought. She didn't like not knowing what she'd done wrong, but it didn't look like Nate was going to want to talk about it anytime soon.

Christ, it didn't look like Nate would want to talk to her _altogether_ anytime soon.

_And whose fault is that?_ a little voice that sounded a lot like Rosalie whispered in the back of her mind. _The kid's right. You're someone who walked out of his life ten years ago, nothing more. You may be connected, but that doesn't make you any less of a stranger. It'll take time to change that status to someone who's welcome in his life._

_Oh, shut the hell up, you smug bitch, _Leah grumbled at the imaginary vampire. Blondie was far too knowledgeable for her liking. She knew she'd fucked up; she didn't need others to point it out every chance they got.

_Well, at least you're acknowledging leaving was the wrong thing to do,_ the smug voice shot back. Leah growled under her breath and picked up her pace, trying to outrun her thoughts. She'd made a decision for the good of Nate and she refused to consider that it might have been the wrong one. She couldn't think like that. It would only destroy her if she did.

_Seems as if you're already destroyed, anyway,_ the voice whispered, but Leah ignored it as she approached the home she'd grown up in, slowing to a casual, somewhat cautious lope. She wasn't quite sure what her brother and mother's reaction was going to be. She hadn't told them she was coming and she knew for a fact that neither had approved her leaving in the first place…

The screen door swung open and Leah stopped dead as her mother wandered onto the porch, frowning down at the bag on the step and shrugging before shifting her tired-looking eyes to the front yard. The older woman was wearing an apron over an old pair of frayed jeans and a checked shirt that Leah recognized had once belonged to her father. There were lines bracketing her mouth and eyes that hadn't been there ten years before, and her once smoky-black hair was now more wood smoke than peat smoke.

She looked like she'd aged ten years, which was as it should be. But for some unknown reason, the signs of age – the signs that her mother wasn't immortal and indestructible – shocked Leah to the core. The surprise slipped from her mouth as a high-pitched bleat of breath, and Sue Clearwater turned her head at the sound. Her eyes went as wide as saucers.

"L-Leah?"

"Hi, Mom," Leah whispered after a moment, throat tight. She blinked, her own eyes widening when Sue suddenly leapt off the porch and flew towards her, arms open.

"Leah! You're home!"

"I am," Leah grinned, misplaced worry disappearing when Sue wrapped her arms around her like a vine and squeezed as tight as she could. Why had she ever thought she wouldn't be welcome?

This was her home and always would be.

"Leah, Leah, Leah, Leah, Leah," Sue blubbered happily against her daughter's shoulder, rocking the younger woman when Leah's arms surrounded her in return. "I can't believe you're here! What are you doing here? How long are you here for? You aren't leaving again, are you? Does Jacob know you're here? Does Nate? What about Emily? Can you-"

"Mom! One question at a time!" the she-wolf exclaimed with a laugh, cheerier than she had been in a very long time. "Yes, I'm back for good, and yes, Jacob, Emily and Nate all know. I had to tell Jake I was coming because his wedding is my reason for coming home, Emily was supposed to pick me up from the airport, and Nate… well, he knows a lot more than I thought he did. Claire took Emily's place, then called him when it became obvious the imprint wasn't going to let me move."

She sighed and stepped back, keeping a hold on her mother's hands. "Listen, can we not talk about Nate? I'm don't want… I'm not ready to face that yet. I just want to be home. Can I just be home?"

"Of course you can," Sue answered immediately, turning around and pulling Leah towards the house. "Seth's sleeping, but I'll wake him up and-"

"No, no, don't do that if he needs it," Leah interrupted, picking up her bag on the way inside. "Let him sleep. This way we can catch up without him butting in every two seconds. Sound good?"

Sue smiled. "Sounds perfect."

And it was. The she-wolf sat in the kitchen and watched as her mother bustled around the bench tops, continuing with the apple and rhubarb pies she'd been in the middle of making when she'd stepped outside to stretch her muscles. They talked as she worked, and they talked about everything under the sun; except Nate, the imprint, and the effect being away from him had caused. Sue caught Leah up on her relationship with Charlie Swan – something that had started out as a friendship with motherly overtones, but in the past year or two had evolved into romance – and Leah talked about getting a business degree, her apprenticeship at Vera's Auto Repairs and finding out Rosalie Hale owned the chain. She even touched on Embry, though she didn't go into detail, as that would've led to the reason for their breakup. Sue looked intrigued by the notion of an imprinted wolf having a romantic and sexual relationship with someone who wasn't their soulmate, but she let it lie.

Her curiosity did confuse Leah a little. Were the tribal elders not aware of Claire having a girlfriend?

In the end, mother and daughter just enjoyed their time together; a short-lived period as Seth woke up an hour later. He stumbled into the kitchen and headed for the fridge, grabbing a bottle of milk and chugging it down straight from the source. Sue frowned at him but didn't reprimand, while Leah watched him in amusement.

"Jeez, what's Jake got you guys doing if you can walk into a room without already knowing who's in it?"

The milk spewed everywhere. Seth choked and spluttered, spinning around and gaping at his sister, who grinned back at him. He blinked a couple of times, wiping the milk off his bare chest in absent movements, and Leah could pinpoint the exact moment he understood what he was seeing.

She'd never seen an expression so bright.

"LEAH!"

"Hey, champ," the she-wolf grinned, laughing when he bounded over and plucked her out of her seat. "It's good to see you- ahhh! Put me down, you moron!"

"Never!" Seth crowed, swinging his sister around in a circle. His laughter bubbled up and out, making Leah smile widely, the sound muffling only when he drew her into his arms and hugged her hard.

"You're home," he murmured, arms tightening. "God, it's good to have you home."

The warmth in her chest was unexpected. Before Sam had phased and imprinted on Emily, Leah and her brother had been close – not terribly close, but they'd gotten on better than most siblings. Then the supernatural had kicked them both in the ass and their relationship had gone down the gurgler. It had improved after they'd joined Jacob's pack, but it wasn't the same as the easy relationship they'd had before their lives had changed.

Leah had been resigned but accepting of that. At least he was close and she could still keep an eye on him. Nate and her leaving had thrown another spanner in the works, and deep down Leah had been anticipating Seth being wary and even angry with her; despite the cordial and amusing emails they'd continued to exchange over the years.

Her instincts were as off as they had been with her mother. As Seth hugged her, Leah realized that she should've known better. Sue and Seth were her family, and family stuck together. No matter what.

"You can come to Billy's tonight!" Seth suddenly blurted, putting her down and beaming at her eagerly. "We're having a final get together with both packs before the wedding! You have to come!"

Leah eyed him in amusement. He clearly still ate batteries for breakfast, her brother did. She retook her seat and watched him fidget on the spot like a three-year-old, her enjoyment in him fading as she registered what he'd said.

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Seth," she answered quietly.

"Why not?" he demanded. Leah sighed.

"I probably won't be welcome, kid. I did something that goes against our very instincts, h-hurt- dammit."

She took a deep breath and sent a grateful smiled over her shoulder when her mother rubbed her back in comfort.

"I hurt my imprint, which is something both packs won't stand for. I think I need to work up to seeing everyone at once."

Seth seemed to think about that for a moment, his brows eventually pulling down in a scowl. "Bullshit."

"Seth! Language!"

"Sorry, Mom, but that's what it is. Seeing everyone at once is the best option. That way she'll get anything they might want to say out in the open and won't have to tiptoe around anyone, wondering what they're thinking. She's going to be seeing everyone at the wedding on Sunday, anyway. Isn't it better to air everyone's grievances before then?"

There was silence in the kitchen for a moment or two before Sue softly said, "he has a point, honey."

"And that way you can see Nate in a group setting-"

"I've already seen him."

"Oh," Seth uttered, frowning. "When? No, never mind. You can't have spent much time with him. The group setting thing comes into that as well. He can't go mental at you in front of everyone, right? Emily would hand him his ass if he tried."

_He wants to go mental at me?_ Leah thought before shaking that question away. She wasn't going to dwell on that now. She'd only just gotten home, had already had one failed attempt at a conversation with Nate, and tomorrow was a good enough day to start trying to figure what was going through her imprint's mind. A break was needed after the initial meeting; it was what was best for both of them.

Knowing the packs, it would be a barbeque, which wouldn't start until that evening. If Nate was going to be there, that would give her a few hours to practise small-talk and the getting-to-know-you conversation starters.

If she couldn't dig through his head, then she'd find out who he was as a person.

"Everyone will be there?" she questioned. Seth nodded, excitement pumping off him in waves.

"Yup! Both packs and the elders. It's basically a bonfire without the fire. Well, not counting the grill."

Leah chewed her bottom lip as she mulled over the idea. Get it all out of the way at once? Was that the best solution?

_Dive in head first and power through the problem? Sounds like a good idea to me._

"All right," she agreed, wincing slightly when Seth let out a whoop loud enough to shake the rafters. Her amusement flooded back as he began to perform something that looked only a little bit like a victory dance around the kitchen table.

Yes, sorting out why Nate was angry with her could wait until the next day, as could her questions for Embry, Jacob and the rest. Now, she intended to enjoy an evening with her brother and mother as best she could. She grinned as Seth spun their mom into an awkward waltz filled with laughter.

At least she'd be entertained.

~0~

Leah knew Nate was already there when they were still a couple of blocks away from the house. She turned to her brother with narrowed eyes as the pull tweaked and vibrated inside her, feeling almost as if it was holding up a hand and folding back its fingers in a 'come here' gesture. She'd been feeling antsy for the past couple of hours; the pull waking up from wherever it had disappeared to and making her body itch with the desire to go find her imprint. After ten years of suffering a lot worse than a simple, low-grade urge, however, it was easily ignored, and Leah continued to enjoy her reunion with her family.

Now, she eyed her brother suspiciously as he drove them up to the house and squeezed into a space between an ancient-looking jeep and a dusty people-mover. Seth glanced over at her and frowned at the look in her eyes.

"What?"

"You never explained why Nate was going to be here. I thought you said it was just going to be the packs at this thing?"

"It is," her brother answered, frown growing. "The packs and the elders."

"Then why is there a non-wolf here?"

Seth looked startled at the question for a moment before his own eyes narrowed. "He's an imprint, Lee, isn't he? Imprints are part of the packs, you know that. We can't leave him out."

"He's not exactly a part of the lifestyle, though, is he?" Leah pointed out quietly. Seth frowned at her.

"So? Doesn't make him any less of an imprint. I told you all this years ago, sis. Nate became family the moment you looked into his eyes, and you not being around doesn't change that. He's been at every gathering from the beginning. It would be weird if he wasn't here tonight."

_Really? How exactly did they explain his inclusion to him before he knew what we were? _Leah wondered silently. Something else to ask him about. With a determined slant to her mouth, she got out of the car and followed Seth around the house to the back yard, coming to a stop at the edge of the back porch.

Nothing had changed. Or at least it looked like it hadn't. The grill was set up on the porch, Jacob manning it, and the yard was packed to the brim with large, muscle-bound men and their women. Each man had a can in his hand and laughter filled the air. A group of older men and woman sat on the porch in deckchairs, and at the edge of the forest, a group of boys threw a football between them and pushed each other around.

It was like stepping back in time. Leah frowned as she took it in, unable to identify the way she felt about the unchanged scene. Her life was a mess and everyone here was all happy and carefree. It was strangely unsettling.

_Well, maybe not everyone,_ she though as her gaze landed on a head of messy black hair sitting on a log at the opposite end of the yard. Nate looked bored as he sipped from his can – coke, she noted – and as if sensing her gaze, he looked up.

The instant their eyes met, the antsy vibrating in her centre settled and calmed. Nate stared at her for a long moment and then lowered his head, his face blank and eyes cool. His body language told her quite clearly she wasn't welcome. Sighing, she rolled her shoulders and took a step forward, determination tripling.

She was going to have an actual conversation with her imprint if it killed her.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in."

The sarcastic drawl had Leah's head turning. Upon seeing whom the voice had come from, her face smoothed into a mask of wariness and her spine straightened. Paul stood in the middle of the suddenly quiet group, facing her with a sneer twisting his features, Rachel standing beside him. Out of the corner of her eye, Leah noticed Nate look over and then slowly rise to his feet.

"Paul," she nodded, watching the still-volatile wolf. Even after all these years Paul had never seemed to want to learn to control his temper, only doing enough to stop him phasing at the drop of a hat. Which had been the reason why Leah had tried so hard to cool hers. The ass could goad her, but she didn't have to react to it.

Of course, her faltering control had flown right out the window the instant Nate's father had put a hand on him, which led to where she was now. Leah lifted her chin and looked her ex-packmate in the eye. She refused to be intimidated.

"Decided to finally come play with the adults, have you?"

"Shut up, jerkface," Seth growled, glaring at the older man. Paul sneered.

"Oh, look, she still needs someone to hold her hand-"

"I don't need anyone to do anything for me, thank you very much," Leah cut him off, still meeting his gaze steadily. "I never did. And as for being here, I came because I was invited. I'm staying because I want to stay."

"Pity you didn't decide that a decade ago before you up and abandoned your responsibilities."

"That's enough, Paul," a voice said from behind them, and Leah turned to see Jacob approaching, Sam and Emily following behind him. "This is my house; Leah is my Beta and my friend. As far as I can tell, that trumps your position in the hierarchy, so if you can't play nice, you can leave. That goes for everyone."

"Seriously? You're picking the bitch who left a little kid all alone because she was too fucking scared to deal with shit? What kind of Alpha are you?"

"_**Paul, stop talking.**_"

The Alpha timbre in Sam's voice affected everyone but Jacob; even Leah felt herself shrink just a little. The wolf the Order was aimed at bowed out immediately, his mouth snapping shut, spine curving and head lowering, though that didn't stop his eyes from spitting tacks at being forced to comply. Sam folded his arms across his chest and glared at his Beta.

"Jacob's right. This is his home and he gets to decide who's welcome here and who isn't. We're trying to have a celebration here. There _won't _be any fighting, here me?"

The other wolf snarled under his breath, but nodded jerkily when Sam bared his teeth at him. He threw Leah a vile look and then turn and strode away, Rachel looking back over her shoulder occasionally as she followed him, her expression apologetic. A couple of others grumbled and turned away as well, the judgement in their eyes making Leah's heart pound uncomfortably.

It reminded her far too much of the time right after she'd first phased. And that reminder had her desperately needing to get some distance. She turned to the house, stopping when Jacob took her arm.

"You're not going, are you?"

"No, just getting a beer," the she-wolf answered. Jake's narrowed eyes said he clearly didn't believe her.

"Leah…"

"No, Jake, it's really okay, I just need a drink. I'll be back in a minute."

She sped past her frowning Alpha and hurried into the house, continuing through the kitchen and not stopping until she was out the door, on the front step. There, she halted reluctantly, limbs buzzing with the need to continue until Paul and his comments were far behind her. Taking a couple of deep breaths, Leah reached up to tug at her hair, gritting her teeth in frustration as her mind churned.

She hadn't abandoned him. She _hadn't!_ She'd left because it had been the right thing to do, the best thing for Nate! Her feelings hadn't come into it at all! Nate and his wellbeing had been the only thing on her mind when she'd packed up and left all those years ago! She hadn't _run!_

Hadn't she?

The pull tingled, his familiar yet unfamiliar scent washing over her, and Leah spoke without turning around.

"I thought it was the best thing. I _knew _it was the best thing. I left because I knew your life would be better without me in it; so that you'd be able to grow up without a so-called soulmate hovering over you constantly and taking away all of your choices in life. They may think I abandoned you, but that wasn't my intention. I just wanted you to live your life the way _you _wanted, to not have a supernatural destiny govern your future. You're a person, not just some responsibility I should have lived up to. I wanted you to be able to make your own decisions, and to do that, I couldn't be around."

"So, if you wanted me to live my life and make my own choices, why did you come back now?"

Leah glanced over her shoulder and met that icy-blue, emotionless gaze. "Because I didn't realize how much me not being around was going to hurt you. I knew it would hurt me and I was prepared to live with that. I _have _been living with that. But I didn't know it was going to affect you just as badly. If I'd known that you were going through something even remotely similar to what I was… I swear, Nate, I never would've left, no matter how much you hated me and wanted me out of your life after the incident with your father. I would've found another way to allow you to live your own life without me and the imprint's influence. I didn't know. Nobody told me and I just… I didn't know. If I'd known, there's no way in hell I would've let you suffer for ten years. I swear it."

Nate stayed silent for a long time. Leah held his gaze as he stared at her, begging him in her mind to understand where she was coming from. He was older now; surely he'd be able to see…

"You should come back in before both Seth and Jacob come looking for you."

He turned around and walked back into the house without another word. Leah blinked a couple of times before frowning and slowly following him, more confused than ever. The man was a complicated knot that she wasn't having any luck unravelling; his non-reply to her admission case and point.

Then again, she hadn't been trying long, had she?

Her determination back, Leah walked back through the house, stopping in the kitchen to pick up a beer along the way. The minute she walked out onto the porch, Emily's arms were around her, her cousin babbling an apology for not being able to pick her up from the airport. Leah waved her off absently, her eyes on Claire as the girl took a seat beside Nate, who was back on his log, the stick in his hand digging into the ground vigorously. He looked up when her shadow fell over him, smiled, and the two of them were soon talking together in their own little world, as if he and Leah hadn't just had a very abrupt, but important conversation. Leah sighed and turned back to Emily. At least someone was able to get him out of his shell.

Having finally finished her baking, Leah's mother showed up ten minutes later, and with her arrival, Leah found herself drawn into an almost reintroduction to everyone. Most of the woman were friendly enough, while their wolves watched her warily, a sentiment Leah returned threefold. She spent the next half hour surrounded by her mother, Emily, Seth and Jacob, Sam and Renesmee hovering in the background.

Everything was going quite well until Embry joined the festivities.

He walked around the side of the house and Leah's head shot towards him as she identified his scent. The questions that had plagued her since she'd found out Nate was suffering surged to the forefront of her mind, and as Embry's head turned eerily in her direction and his eyes widened, disbelief, hope and despair all battling for prominent place, the anger began to simmer.

Embry turned to look at Nate and guilt overtook everything. And with the one expression, Leah knew.

The simmer exploded.

"You fucking _bastard!_" she roared, striding over and drawing back her fist, clocking him directly in the jaw with a hard right hook.

* * *

**A/N: Sheesh, these things just keep getting longer... anyway, thank you everyone for sticking with me thus far, as well as for following, favouriting and reviewing. I know I don't answer your reviews, but please do know that I read and appreciate every single comment. You all rock! Oh, and yes, I changed my penname. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Choices**

Disclaimer: How many ways can you say 'no' in English? No, nope, nada, no sir, I don't, nah ah, certainly not, not at all, on no account, not on your life, nay…

**Chapter Nine**

_"You fucking __bastard!_"_ she roared, striding over and drawing back her fist, clocking him directly in the jaw with a hard right hook__._

* * *

"_Leah!_"

Her mother's yell was shocked as Embry's head snapped back violently, the momentum jerking his body around, making one foot trip over the other and sending him stumbling to the ground. He hit with an "oomph" and lay there for a second, the expression of surprise twisting into resignation as Jake and Quil reached his side.

"Well, at least the description is apt," he muttered, groaning slightly and rubbing his jaw as he got to his feet with the help of his two pack-mates. He sighed and fixed Leah with a wary look, just a hint of shame shadowing his eyes. "Hello, Leah. It's good to see you again."

"You _knew!_" she hissed, anger throbbing like a pulse through her as she stepped up into his personal space and glared viciously. "You knew and you didn't tell me! You asshole, how could you not tell me?"

"Look, I don't know what's going on here, but this isn't the time or the place," Jacob began in a low voice, trying to inch closer to the furious she-wolf. Her gaze snapped to him quickly, the look in her eyes surprising the Alpha enough to make him take an involuntary step back.

"This is _exactly_ the right time and place!" Leah growled, eyes flicking between Jacob and Embry and back again, hands clenching into fists so tight, her knucklebones stood out at sharp points. "He isn't the only one who didn't tell me what the fuck was going on, is he, Jacob? You let him suffer, you _all_ let him suffer, but _he-" _she snarled the word at Embry, the sound rumbling up through her chest, low and violent, making every wolf in the yard go still with the anticipation of danger, "_he _saw it all first hand. _He _saw what the imprint was doing to me, I _told _him what it was doing to me, how it was eating me alive and making me a shell of myself, and _he _knew it was doing the exact same thing to Nate. _And he didn't tell me."_

She shifted closer still, until all she could see was the steadily building guilt and remorse growing in Embry's eyes. The emotions did nothing to lessen Leah's fury. If anything, they made it worse. A fine tremble began in her hands, spreading slowly up her arms and into her torso. She ignored it, as well as the way Jacob tensed minutely as he noticed it too.

"I told you, right to your face that night on the couch, about the punishment, about what was going on with me and how I was feeling, and I _saw_ the moment you realized that Nate was suffering right along with me. I _saw_ the confliction on your face. I just didn't understand what that look meant at the time. I do now, though, don't I, Embry? I know what the expression means now, just as I know what it meant every other time I saw it over our three years. And every time, _every fucking time_, you chose not to tell me. You chose to keep me in the dark about Nate, my imprint, a _kid,_ hurting just as much as I was, if not more. You let him _suffer. _You let him suffer just so you could get in my fucking pants-"

"_Don't!_" Embry barked suddenly, cutting her off, the guilt in his eyes disappearing as his own anger replaced it. "Don't you _dare!_ That had nothing to do with it and you know that!"

"Oh, really?" Leah scoffed, shaking her head in disgust. "I might actually believe you if you hadn't gotten me on my back not ten seconds after my midnight confession!"

"Of course I fucking did, you stood up and dropped the blanket! How could I not with all that goddamn _skin_ on display?"

"Your decision not to tell me came before I dropped the blanket, you jackass! Admit it; you just didn't want to throw away the chance of having me again! Your dick trumped your head and you forfeited my imprint's happiness to get that dick between my legs! That was your aim all along!"

"That was _never_ my aim!" Embry bellowed, his hands shaking in accompaniment to hers, "I left that aspect of our relationship up to you! It was _always_ up to you! If I remember _correctly_, since your memory seems to have conveniently misfired, you were the one who rushed me eagerly to the bedroom the first time! I didn't start anything; you could never keep your hands off _me! _The only aim I ever had during our relationship is the reason, and the _only_ reason why I chose not to tell you! He wasn't around, I love you, and I was trying my absolute fucking hardest to get you to _love me back!"_

"That's _**enough**_**!**"

The Alpha timbre had all the fight draining from both wolves, their bodies sagging under the order, heads lowering. The silence after the order was vast. It swamped the backyard in a heavy sheet of shock, abruptly reminding the submitting but still angry she-wolf that she and Embry weren't alone. A flick of her gaze showed that they still had a large audience which, going by both their expressions and the way they were muttering, were a mixture of fascinated and judgemental.

"Holy shit, Leah and Embry were together? How is that even possible?"

"So she cares more about getting herself off than she does about her soulmate. Should have figured."

"Shut the fuck up, Paul."

_That_ quiet voice had Leah's head swinging. She straightened as her eyes locked on an icy-blue gaze, her entire focus on the man standing across the yard, watching her. Nate's face was calm, set and passive, his eyes expressionless. She had no clue at all what he was feeling about this sudden revelation.

Something told her that that blankness was a very bad thing. She took an anxious step forward.

"Nate, I-"

"I'm going to go home now," he interrupted, voice still soft. And with that, he turned and walked across the yard, disappearing around the side of the house. With a scowl in Leah's direction, Claire hurriedly followed.

"Even when you finally grow some balls and start acting the way a wolf's supposed to act, you still end up fucking it up. Maybe you should just run back off to your perfect little imprintless world and leave the protection detail to the people worthy of it, huh?"

"Oh, for God's sake, Lahote, does your mouth ever close?"

"Paul, shut up!"

"If I ever hear you speaking to my daughter like that again, Paul Lahote, you can guarantee that children will never be in your future, no matter how hard you may be trying to stop phasing."

"I concur, Mrs Clearwater. You start showing Leah some respect, Paul, or you'll be spending the rest of your life wearing out the skin on your hand!"

A rather hysterical giggle burst from between Leah's lips. The sound brought everyone's attention back to her, and even though Paul was now looking thoroughly chastened, the judgement was still clear in the wolves' gazes.

"Maybe I should go."

"No, I'll go," Leah muttered, eyes flicking to Embry and away again as her skin began to itch with the need for air, even though she was surrounded by never ending oxygen. "I'll go. I need… I need to go. I'll go."

The wolf rumbled in her head and hands that had settled at Jacob's order began to tremble again.

"No, Leah, you just got home, I'll leave-"

"Shut up, Embry," she ordered softly, body trembling. "Please just close your mouth." The sentence ended in a rumble and the tremors turned to shakes. She took two large steps away from her pack-mates.

"I'm leaving," she managed to growl in something that resembled a human voice, before the shakes abruptly turned violent and climaxed in an explosion of animal, her clothes shredding and flying into the air around her. Her paws hit the earth and she was running, the house and human wolves gone in the blink of an eye, greenery surrounding her as she sped across tribal lands. The wolf howled, the sound pouring from Leah's muzzle, excitement at finally running on home soil causing random little hops and skips to interrupt her pace. Her happiness at being home abruptly outweighed her anger.

It wasn't until she began to concentrate past the joy of being who she was in a place where she was always meant to stay, that she realized she wasn't running alone.

"_You're glad to be home, I take it," _Jacob murmured in her head, voice rather dry. The sound of his voice dashed the joy in one fell swoop; bringing the anger back and making her lips peel back from her teeth. Her Alpha sighed when he felt the change. He popped out of the trees and began running beside her.

"_You were happy just a second ago. Can't you just hold on to that?"_

"_Why didn't you tell me, Jacob?"_

"_Tell you what?" _Jacob asked, his frown clear in his mental voice. He side-eyed her in confusion.

"_What the fuck do you think? Tell me about Nate! Why the hell did I have to find out that my imprint was suffering only after I'd rung and asked? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"_

An emotion she could only describe as 'shiftiness' came across the mental bond they shared, and Leah blinked, fury draining. She slowed and finally came to a stop, turning to her Alpha and cocking her head as he mirrored her action and stopped as well. She'd expected him to have an instant answer, an instant explanation. The fact that he seemed to be trying his best to keep something from her was making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

"_Jacob? Why didn't you tell me?"_

"_He made me promise not to,"_ was the immediate answer she'd been looking for – and yet, it wasn't. There was more to it still.

"_He made you promise not to?" _she repeated slowly. _"When did he do that?"_

"_Right after we found out he knew about everything, which was not long after he found out himself,"_ he replied. _"I wanted to let you know he knew, but he made me swear I wouldn't tell you anything or keep you updated. I was just keeping a promise, Leah."_

"_So you didn't tell me when he got in trouble, when he went out and got drunk and took drugs, when he got into fights and ended up in jail for the night; you didn't tell me all that because you wanted to keep a promise you made to him when he was thirteen, still relatively innocent and wasn't actively looking for ways to hurt himself and ruin his life yet?" _Leah asked, voice still slow as if she was trying to piece things together. _"You don't think him flipping out warrants breaking that promise for his own good? He was a kid, Jake. You were the adult. I can understand wanting to stay someone he trusted, but his safety takes precedent over everything else, doesn't it?"_

That shiftiness came back and Leah's eyes narrowed. A thought suddenly occurred to her as something he'd said on the phone when she'd rung played back through her mind.

"_You did know at the time that he'd fallen in with the wrong crowd, didn't you?" _she questioned, sure he'd be insulted that she even thought she'd needed to ask. When the shiftiness escalated enough to make Jacob pace away and then back to her, her heart began to pound. _"Jake? I know you said he hid it from everyone, but you had to have noticed something was wrong! He lives on the rez and Seth said he became part of the pack the moment I imprinted on him. You can't have missed something as big as that!"_

Jacob whined and, as if against his will, images began to run through both his and Leah's minds. Memories. Images of the Cullens showing up in the surrounding areas of Forks out of the blue and insisting Renesmee move back in with them. Pictures of Jacob bringing Renesmee home to see Edward standing on the deck with his arms folded across his chest and a scowl on his face. Pictures of Bella and Edwards whispering together, Bella acting like she was trying to calm her husband down. Moments where Jacob turned up to take Renesmee out, only to find her suddenly caught up in something important that her father insisted she do right then and there. Confrontations with Edward, demands for explanations, trying to referee when Nessie shouted at her father furiously, accusations and moments of surprising hurt when he realized that Edward didn't really trust him, no matter how much Bella tried to reassure him that he did. Sleepless nights and unfounded worry that Nessie would actually listen to her father, break up with him and branch out, broaden her horizons and test life's waters with some other guy by her side.

Years passed in his memories. Nessie calling him an idiot for even _thinking_ she'd run off to someone else, the dispute with Edward eventually sorting itself out. Jacob asking Nessie to marry him. The Cullens leaving, happiness and wedding plans becoming the distractions, and then an image of Nate at about seventeen or so, weaving and hungover, blood running down his forehead and Claire standing beside him, clothes ripped and tear tracks staining her cheeks.

The final image showed Jacob staring at them, wracked with guilt as he realized that he might have been able to prevent this if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own imprint.

"_Nate didn't hurt her!"_ Jacob said in a rush as Leah reeled back, a snarl echoing through the forest, her ears flat against her head. _"It wasn't him; he pulled her out of the situation! Claire followed him and got into trouble, and he came to her rescue!"_

_Well, of course he didn't hurt her, _Leah thought distantly, surprise coming from Jacob as he heard the thought as well. That wasn't what she was reacting to. She stared at her Alpha dumbfounded, lips peeled back and hair along her spine arched straight up. She couldn't believe… she just couldn't believe it.

"_You forgot about him."_

"_What? No! I didn't forget about him! I just… I got a little too distracted, that's all!"_

"_You forgot about him,"_ the she-wolf repeated in a whisper, anger beginning to thrum through her and rumble in her throat. _"You forgot about Nate. You're my Alpha and Nate is mine. How can you possibly forget about someone who should, by extension, be yours too?"_

Guilt flooded Jacob's mind and he whined again, the big, russet-coloured wolf beginning to pace in agitation. _"It isn't that simple, Leah, you know it isn't! Imprinting takes over everything and-"_

"_You're an ALPHA!" _Leah bellowed, baring her teeth at the other wolf and snaring loudly. Jacob's head whipped around at the sound, his own teeth showing, and an invisible force began to pump from him, making Leah crouch under it against her will. He sighed and it let up slightly.

"_Yes, I am. But I'm also one with an imprint. I'm sorry for what happened, Leah, but you of all people should understand how much that takes over your life. They're the only thing that matters. Yes, I let that get out of hand, and I'm very sorry for it. You can't imagine how sorry I am. It won't happen again, I swear it."_

"_Well, m__aybe Alphas shouldn't be imprinting then!"_ Leah hissed, pissed at being made to submit and anger already running through her making her tremble. An image of the single-minded devotion on Sam's face when he looked at Emily flashed through her mind. Jacob sighed again.

"_You're aware it isn't a choice,"_ he stated quietly. Leah grimaced and with that, her anger receded, disappointment and weariness taking its place.

"_And the others? Why didn't Seth let me know? Or Quil, considering his imprint was in the thick of things?"_

Jacob's head dropped. _"I, ah, I sort of ordered Seth not to. And I think Claire made Quil promise to leave it alone. Embry, you unfortunately know why. The other pack… well, Sam didn't see it as their business."_

_No, he wouldn't, would he? _Leah thought, weariness growing. The need to see Nate flared brightly in her chest, the pull tugging, and she shifted anxiously on her paws. Jacob lifted his head and watched her.

"_We still need to talk about you and Embry,"_ he reminded her in a gentle tone. Leah bared her teeth and shook her head in denial.

"_I don't really want to talk with you about anything at the moment," _she said quietly, turning away from him. A helpless huff escaped Jacob and his Beta paced away a few feet before taking off in a run.

"_I really am sorry, Leah," _his voice whispered in her head as she left his sight. The she-wolf grunted.

"_Still doesn't change the fact that you forgot about my imprint because daddy leech decided to throw a hissy fit about you dating his daughter after the fact, Jacob. It's nice to know you have your priorities straight."_

_A little high-handed on the priorities aspect, aren't you? I wasn't the only one who forgot about Nate._

The slightly irritated, obviously meant to be private thought from her Alpha had Leah stumbling briefly before she closed her mind with a firm shove and began to run faster, leaving Jacob behind.

~0~

The tugging led her to a quaint little house on the edge of the reservation, just north of the borderline. Leah padded through the trees, her eyes on the front door – a door that opened as she got to the edge of the small yard. Though the vegetation still hid her from view, Nate's head turned eerily in her direction. Their eyes met, and after an initial jolt of surprise, Leah took a breath and stepped from the trees.

His eyes rounded when he saw her, wonder reflecting for a moment before his expression closed.

"You should come in," he said quietly, turning to walk back into the house, obviously assuming she'd follow. The screen door banged shut behind him and Leah whined, not moving.

Come in? Oh, how she wanted to.

She sat, trembling slightly, for five minutes before the door opened again. Nate walked back out onto the porch and stared at her, something twisting his expression in a way she couldn't read.

"I said come in, didn't I? Do you not want the imprint so much that you don't even want to be around me for the length of a conversation? Christ, Leah, I _want_ you to come in!"

The pull tugged violently and Leah whined louder, frustration turning the end into a growl. She got up off her haunches and loped towards him, slowing to a careful walk as she got close. To her surprise, Nate didn't back away at her approach, though he did hold himself tense. She was close enough to touch him with her muzzle when she stopped.

Very slowly, with incredible care, she opened her jaws, closed just the edge of her teeth around the end of his t-shirt, and gave a very, _very_ gentle tug. Nate frowned and glanced down in confusion.

"It might be easier to understand you if you phased back, you know," he said in a quiet, somewhat dry tone. Leah snorted out a breath, frustration growing. She was about to tug on his tee harder when the door opened again.

"It might be easier for her to phase back if she had some clothes to put on and didn't have to stand in front of you naked," Claire pointed out as she walked onto the porch. Nate blinked.

"Naked?"

"Yeah, do you see any material strapped to her leg? I'm guessing showing up here in wolf form wasn't exactly planned," Claire said, her eyes sharp on her friend for a moment before she looked at the wolf still standing in the front yard. She reached for the pullover tied around her waist and tugged it off. "Here. It's Melissa's, so it should cover everything it's meant to. Just get it back to me in one piece, okay?" She turned to Nate. "I'll go head your mom off. This is probably a conversation you won't want interrupted."

Nate nodded and Claire walked down the steps, rubbing his arm as she passed him. She threw the pullover in Leah's direction, her lips twitching when it landed on the wolf's muzzle, a huff and an irritated shake of her head sending it to the grass. The wolf bent and gently scooped it up in her teeth before turning and loping into the forest.

Two minutes later, a much more human Leah walked back into view, the pullover hitting her mid-thigh. Claire was gone and Nate was still standing on the porch, leaning against the wooden railing, his eyes on his clasped hands.

Those eyes snapped up the moment he heard the she-wolf, and in a lightning-quick movement that left Leah gaping, they streaked down over her pullover to focus on the large amount of bare leg showing, staring for a fraction longer than polite before rising quickly to meet her eyes and snapping away again.

Without a word, he turned and walked into the house.

Eyes wide, her breath left her lungs in a sharp puff of air. What the hell was _that_?

_Oh, come on, she-mutt, even you're not that dumb. He's a young, healthy male; a species as a whole that apparently thinks about sex every seven seconds or so. Did you really expect him not to look?_

Leah frowned, distantly registering the thought that Rosalie had once again become her inner monologue. It wasn't the fact that she'd expected him to look or not to look. Expectation hadn't actually come into it. She knew how old Nate was, knew he wasn't physically a child any longer, but up until that moment she hadn't really taken into account that, along with his physical maturity came sexual maturity, despite already knowing he'd had sex in the past.

Even though he legally wouldn't be classified for another couple of years yet, Nate was an adult, with adult thoughts and emotions. Her frown deepened as she walked towards the house. She honestly didn't know how she felt about that.

She also didn't know how she felt about the uncomfortable and unexpected way her heart had pounded at the blatant look of approval that had shone very briefly in his eyes before he'd looked away. Confusion surged and, embracing denial wholeheartedly, she firmly pushed those thoughts aside and walked through the front door. Now wasn't the time to dwell on such things.

The inside of Nate's home was as quaint as the outside. The furniture was old and well worn, the timber and wooden fittings looking like they had come from the 1950s, and there were several things that looked like they needed repaired or just replaced altogether. Despite the distinct air of old-worldiness and ingrained dust, the house still looked lived in and warmly loved. Leah took it in as she followed the tug through to the back of the house and into a room off the laundry. She stopped when she got the doorway and looked around with interest.

It was obviously a workshop. What surprised her was that on every available surface, she could see different sized wooden carvings in various stages of development. Nate was standing with his back to the door and a small carving in his hand, an instrument gliding over it, woodchips falling to the floor around his feet. Leah hesitated and then took a step forward, gently picking up a bird-shaped carving. On closer inspection, she saw it was an eagle with its wings spread in flight.

You could see each individual feather. The detailing was exquisite.

"Nate, these are amazing," she breathed, putting the eagle down as her eyes lit on a series of wolves sitting on the shelf above her. Nate shrugged and flicked her a look before focusing back on the carving.

"You're upset."

"What?" Leah blinked, turning towards him. "Umm, a little I guess. Not really. It doesn't matter."

Her imprint pursed his lips and didn't say anything. Leah watched him and let out a sigh.

"I feel like I owe you an apology."

A quick glance flew her way again. He still didn't say anything. Leah tried again.

"For, ah, for Embry? This is such a hard situation to figure out. We're over now, but we were… we were together at one point, and I feel like I should apologize to you for that, even though you were only a kid at the time. So-o… sorry?"

Again, there was no reply. He didn't even pause in his carving. Leah growled under her breath and ran a hand through her hair.

"Nate, please talk to me. I need to know how you're feeling. I know you probably don't want me in your life any more than you did years ago, but-"

"I really wish you would stop blaming me for you leaving."

A tense silence hung in the air as Leah blinked in bewilderment. "What?"

"You're constantly blaming me for the fact that you left. I wish you'd stop. You leaving was your own choice, not mine, so kindly please don't heap the blame on my head."

His voice was mild, his eyes focused on the carving in his hand. Leah stared.

"Excuse me? I'm not blaming you! And it wasn't my choice! I left because you told me to go!"

Her eyes widened when he abruptly swung around. There was no mildness on his face now. His eyes snapped with surprisingly forceful anger as he glared at her.

"Don't lie to me, Leah. You left because you hate imprinting and you didn't want it in your life any longer. You didn't want _me_ in your life any longer. You ran as fast and as far as you could, and you're only back now because you feel guilty that it hurt me more than you realized it was going to."

Her jaw hit the floor. _Do you not want the imprint so much that you don't even want to be around me for the length of a conversation?_ He'd said that earlier when she hadn't come inside because she hadn't had anything to wear. He believed… he didn't believe that, did he? He _can't!_

"God, Nate, no! That wasn't why I left at all! I left to give you a chance at a normal life, so that you'd grow up without a supposedly destined mate influencing the way you lived your life! I left to _give_ you a life! I just wanted you to be happy, and I thought at the time that me not being there would give you the greatest chance at that!"

"Bullshit!" he snapped, eyes and jaw tightening, the carving hitting the bench-top with a sharp clink. "If that was the case you wouldn't have left at all! Do you have _any_ idea what it felt like to have the one person I trusted, the one person I thought I could count on and would always be there for me, walk away? I was losing what little family I had, Leah, and then you left me too! You have no clue how that made me feel! No clue how _abandoned _I felt!"

"You told me to leave!" Leah cried defensively, shocked at the attack. "You told me to leave you alone, to go away and never come back! You looked at me with hate in your eyes and told me you never wanted to see me again! I was only doing what you wanted me to do!"

"I was _nine years old!_" Nate snarled, reaching up to tug at his hair. "I was a kid who was scared and angry and upset and was taking it out on the person I felt closest to, because I knew that you could handle it and would allow me the rant I needed before acting like the adult you were supposed to be and comforted me! How goddamn wrong could I be? You bolted like the devil was chasing you the first chance you got-"

"You accused me of being a fucking _paedophile!_"

The words rang through the small room, loud in the sudden silence. Leah stared up at the face above her, teeth bared, hands clenched at her sides. Nate's mouth snapped closed at her hurled words, and his eyes cooled as his anger visibly depleted. He took a step back – making Leah aware of how close he'd been in the first place – and rubbed the back of his neck almost awkwardly.

"Shit. Umm, that I'm sorry for. I didn't believe it when I said it, it's just that my father had been parroting on about it for ages and it got stuck in my head. Those were his words, not mine." His eyes hardened again, the hint of embarrassment disappearing. "Of course, it didn't help that I didn't know why you'd all of a sudden taken an interest in me. And then when I did find out why and jumped to the conclusion that you hated the idea of me being your imprint so much that you ran as soon as you could…"

_You went off the rails,_ Leah thought, a sigh passing her lips. God, how could she have possibly fucked this up so much? Her imprint thought she hated him, and that was after having a rough childhood. Her leaving had ended up making things worse rather than better.

But there was one thing she could do. She could dissuade him of the notion that she hated the idea of being stuck with _him_. Folding her lips, she leaned back against the bench and crossed her legs at the ankles.

"Look, I'm not going to deny that I have, ah, _issues_ with imprinting," she began, glancing over at Nate, who was leaning back against the bench in a similar fashion beside her. She hesitated for a moment and then continued. "Do you know about Sam? Sam and Emily and me?"

He looked in her direction and sent her a single nod, eyes emotionless again. Leah grimaced and looked down at her hands.

It was time to be honest.

"That… that destroyed me. I don't think I've ever felt that type of pain before, nor since. Not being around you these last ten years hurt like a motherfucker, but it was different. That hurt in my soul, in my very being. It tore me to pieces and left me unable to function, left me sick and exhausted and just plain fucking empty, but what Sam did… it broke my heart." She straightened, moving to relief the unease the thought provoked, and glanced at him quickly; a bit perturbed to see she had his full attention. "I don't know if you've ever been in love, but-"

"I haven't."

"So I guess it'll be a little hard to understand," she said, looking at him again, her stomach twisting weirdly at his answer. "Sam was _my_ choice. I loved him with everything I had, and then this inheritance clicks into being and my cousin comes to visit, and everything changes. Just like that. She's suddenly his entire world and I'm left out in the cold. I didn't understand how he could possibly do that to me until I phased myself, and that just made it worse. He didn't have a choice. He left me because what runs in his blood told him to, and in the end, she couldn't resist his devotion. I swore that that would never happen to me, and then suddenly it did, and fuck if I didn't feel like I was destroying your life."

A headache began to pound behind her eyes. She closed them and reached up to rub the bridge of her nose, hoping to dispel it.

"All I ever wanted was you to be happy. It's the reason I broke my promise and attacked your father, and it's the reason why I left. I just wanted to give you the choices the imprint took away, because I know what it's like to live without choice. I hated the thought of you resenting me as you got older, and I thought that if I wasn't there, that wouldn't happen." She let out a hopeless little laugh and opened her eyes again. "Christ, I got it wrong on so many levels, didn't I? I'm sorry, Nate. I'm so fucking sorry."

His silence stretched. She didn't think he was going to speak until he did.

"What about now?"

Leah frowned. "I don't understand."

"What about now?" Nate asked again calmly, pushing off the bench. "You say that you left to give me a choice, but now you're back. Do you want the imprint now? Do you still love Sam?"

Her brows shot up. "What? No! Honestly, Nate, I mostly got over him before you even came into the picture, and now there's _nothing_ left lingering! You sort of eliminated that possibility, trust me!"

"If that were true, then how did Embry happen?"

Blinking, the she-wolf stared at the man in front of her, whose unemotional expression hadn't changed during his questioning. She grimaced and began to pace the tiny space.

"I don't know how he happened. He just did. At the time he mentioned the distance between you and me and the fact that you were only thirteen when we began, but… I just don't know. The only way to test that theory is to try it all over again, and believe me, that's not going to happen."

"You don't want to be with him?"

"No," Leah answered, eyes narrowed as she turned to face him. They'd been a little something under that question that she couldn't put her finger on. "Even if I hadn't had an imprint at the time, Embry and I wouldn't have worked. He's too passive-aggressive. He'd railroad me into doing things without me realizing he was doing it, and then he'd make me feel like shit when I'd complain after I'd realize. It was probably unintentional, but it still happened. Us shouting at each other earlier was the first time I've heard him raise his voice, and I need to shout at someone and have them shout back at me. I need to know how they feel, not guess all the bloody time."

Nate nodded slowly, his eyes on her. He opened his mouth to speak again and then frowned, closing it. Leah cocked her head.

"What is it?"

"He used present tense," her imprint answered quietly, watching her. "When you were shouting, he said 'love', not 'loved'. He still loves you."

Leah shrugged. "Yeah, well, he'll have to get over it. We're done completely and I'm home for good."

Again, Nate nodded slowly and then turned away, picking up the carving again. Leah watched his back. He didn't seem angry anymore, but she also didn't know if she'd gotten through to him. Did he believe her?

Only one way to find out.

"I have an idea if you're willing," she offered softly. Though he didn't turn, his hands paused on the carving, which she took as an indication he was listening. Taking a deep breath, she continued.

"I think we should try to be friends. Get to know each other. I don't like imprinting, but that doesn't at all mean I don't like you. I only know you as a kid and you've only seen me through the same eyes. Neither of us know who the other person really is. Why not try to find that out? We have plenty of time on our sides, after all."

Nate turned and their eyes met. "Friends?"

"Yeah," Leah nodded. "Friends. Or try to be, anyway."

Once again, his silence stretched. Leah waited and fidgeted nervously, and maybe it was seeing that that led to a ghost of a smile drifting across Nate's face.

"I think I can live with that."

"Oh good," Leah sighed, shoulders sinking in relief, her hands scrubbing at her face. "Good, good. I think I should go now, though. We both need time and Claire said your mom will be home soon?"

"She would've managed to distract her, but it probably won't work much longer."

"Okay. I'll see you… I guess I'll see you when I see you."

Nate nodded in silence and Leah turned to the door a little awkwardly, huffing out a weary sigh when she'd left the room. God. Talk about some heavy shit. The entire day had been heavy. She didn't know how this was going to go with him, but she was determined to find out.

With that thought in mind, Leah walked back through the house and stepped onto the porch. A quick glance around her showed she didn't have an audience, so she walked down the steps and tugged the pullover over her head, turning to throw it over the railing. Nate could make sure Claire got it back-

"Hey, don't forget to…"

His words died, Leah's head snapped up, and she froze. In complete contrast to when he'd looked at her earlier, this time Nate's eyes widened and then raked over her naked form in a slow, almost leisurely scan, pausing and lingering for long seconds before moving on until he'd reached her toes and then moving back up again. His gaze was like a physical touch. Leah stood paralyzed, a trail kindling and burning across her skin in the look's wake, raising goosebumps, pooling heat low in her abdomen and making her nipples peak tightly. Her breath caught in her throat and heat rushed up her neck, confusion and desire battling in her chest for equal place, her heart battling to escape her ribcage right along with them.

The desire blazed up and seared through her, killing the confusion with a roar, when Nate finally lifted his gaze and looked into her eyes.

The blue flame burns the hottest.

A little sound of shock and bewildered intrigue rose in her throat involuntarily, and Nate blinked, the hunger in his eyes abruptly vanishing. He blinked a couple more times and then suddenly turned away from her, his cheeks taking on just a hint of colour.

"Ah, don't forget to get the hoodie back to Claire," he said in a low, rough voice, clearing his throat and sending a shiver down Leah's spine. "It's important to her."

"I was… I was going to leave it here for you to give back to her," Leah answered, inwardly cursing at how breathless her own voice sounded, the hoodie in question now belatedly held up in front of her.

"Right. I'll do that. You should go."

With that statement, he quickstepped towards the front door. Leah sighed and after throwing the hoodie across the railing, she let the wolf out, a burning of another kind rushing up her spine and spreading across her skin, until her human form collapsed in on itself and the breeze ruffled through her pelt. With a last look at the empty doorway, she snorted in mild irritation and headed towards the forest.

"Leah."

She stopped, her head turning. Nate stood in the doorway, face and eyes impassive.

"Please put on some weight."

Then he was gone again, the screen door swinging as it closed with a creak behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Choices**

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Twilight.

**Chapter Ten**

_Then he was gone again, the screen door swinging as it closed with a creak behind him._

* * *

The ringing of her cell phone woke Leah up from a deep sleep three days later. It was the middle of the afternoon and a rare burst of warm sunlight was streaming through the open window of her childhood bedroom, disorienting the she-wolf even further as the constant tinny warble slowly pulled her to consciousness. She blinked a couple of times and lifted her head off the indented pillow, squinting in the bright light, sluggish and confused.

Why was she asleep in the middle of the day? She hadn't intended to fall asleep when she'd come up to her bedroom, but the instant she'd sat down on her bed to look for batteries in her junk drawer, a wave of exhaustion had hit her and then she'd known nothing. It'd been happening a lot lately, unusual tiredness coming out of the blue, causing her to fall asleep at odd times. If it wasn't for the fact that she was hungry all the time now as well, Leah might've been worried.

Her head fell back onto the pillow with a groan, irritation waking her completely and making her snarl. Leah wasn't a morning person, let alone a middle-of-the-day person. Stupid fucking imprint. First it robbed her of sleep and appetite for a decade, and now that she was doing what it wanted, it was giving both back to her threefold. It wasn't exactly safe though, was it? What if she fell asleep behind the wheel? What if her mother or brother or _Nate_ were in the car when she did?

She grumbled under her breath, annoyed at her own dramatics, and her cell continued to ring, the catchy, upbeat tune that she was sure was Seth's handiwork sounding distant and bloody persistent. Whoever it was really wanted to speak to her. She groaned again and lifted her body off the bed, feeling as if she was moving through thick, clingy mud. Apparently the imprint didn't think she'd slept long enough.

_Fuck that_, she thought, scowling as her agitation swelled, her footfalls heavy on the stairs, the kitchen door slamming open with a thud when she shoved her way through it. _It's my fucking body, I'll sleep when I want to sleep!_

Her eyes fell on the fruit bowl her chirping cell phone was sitting next to and her stomach growled. With teeth bared in a snarl, she snatched up her phone and answered without looking at the caller display.

"_What?"_

There was a heavy silence on the other end. Then a calm, even voice replied, "never mind," and Leah was suddenly greeted with a dial tone. The she-wolf blinked in confusion and pulled the phone back to stare at the unknown number on the screen, the two, quiet words winding their way through her mind. She knew that voice. Even distorted through a phone line, she'd _always_ know that voice. Her bad mood evaporated instantly and she scrambled for the redial button, cursing under her breath when it took her four tries to get it to work.

Nate had rung her. After three days of radio silence, Nate had rung her. Why had Nate rung her? Was he okay? How did he know her number? Why the hell had she barked down the phone like a raving lunatic? The phone on the other end rung, and no one picked up, and Leah was out the front door and phasing before her brain registered the actions, pausing only briefly to remove her t-shirt and jeans and tie them to her leg before she took off at a gallop.

Nate had _rung_ her. She hadn't seen or spoken to him in three days, something that had been deliberate on Leah's part as her reaction to the way he'd looked at her had confused and upset her, and then he rings her out of nowhere, hanging up before she even has a chance to speak to him. Something had to be wrong, because she was positive he was deliberately avoiding her as well. A very canine whine escaped her, and Leah ran, panic adding her flight. It wasn't long until the trees thinned and she skidded to a stop at the edge of Nate's yard.

The fire ran up her spine and Leah tugged her clothes back on, eyes fixed on the house. The instant she stepped into the yard, the front door opened. He hovered in the doorway but didn't step onto the porch, instead stayed hidden in the shadows of the curiously dark entranceway. Leah's heart raced.

"What's wrong?" the she-wolf blurted, striding across the yard. Nate didn't answer her, just stood and watched her come towards him. He shifted a little when she climbed the porch steps and stopped in front of him, still silent. Concern at the extra layer she sensed under the silence had Leah itching to reach for him.

"Nate?" she asked again, folding her hands behind her back. She caught a flash of his eyes watching her, expressionless as always, but…

There was that something more. Nate was upset, or angry, or scared, or _something_, and Leah's body leant towards him involuntarily. She scowled in both irritation at the movement and worry for her annoyingly closed-off imprint.

"Nate, I can't help if you don't tell me-"

"Do you want to go for a drive?"

Leah blinked at the out of the blue question. "What?"

"Do you want to go for a drive?" he repeated calmly, shifting on the spot again and folding his arms. His eyes continued to give nothing away. "I need to get out of the house. Do you want to come?"

"Ah… sure," Leah replied, baffled. Nate nodded and pulled further back into the dark house.

"Stay here. I won't be long."

"O-kaay," the she-wolf muttered, watching his retreat with a frown. She turned away from the door and stared out into the yard, worry and confusion compressing her forehead. No contact for three day and then Nate rings her (where _had_ he gotten her number from?), hangs up as soon as she answers, and now he was being bewildering and mysterious and wasn't telling her what the matter was, because something clearly was the matter. Instead he changes the subject. It was frustrating and irritating and it made her stomach twist in fear, because what if something _really_ was wrong with him? Unexpected sexual reaction be damned, he wasn't going to get rid of her now. Why didn't he just tell her what was going on?

Why would he ring her if he was going to keep her in the dark?

She turned at the sound of his approach, eyes flashing and mouth open to berate him for worrying her so much. And her jaw dropped.

For as long as Leah had known him, Nate's hair had been thick and inky-black and all over the place, falling across his forehead and over his ears, the length teasing the back of his neck. Now, however, Leah stared in amazement and not a little shock, because that familiar constant was gone. Utterly gone. His hair was now number-one short, a dark, prickly buzz on the top and sides of his head, and it changed his looks _completely_.

Cheekbones. Cheekbones and a firm jaw, and a regal nose that was just a little large, and a lovely set of lips, and _holy shit_, those _eyes._ Even the shape of his head was eye-catching. Very eye-catching. Leah swallowed, her heart pounding a tattoo in her chest, a flush creeping up her neck as a well-known feeling of deep-seated attraction twisted its way through her; something she hadn't felt since the early days with Embry. She'd known. Christ, she'd known. Her imprint wasn't a child any longer, and she'd known that, she had, the heat in her belly had proved that, but until then she hadn't really _seen_ it. Not truly.

Three days earlier Nate had looked at her with desire in his eyes, and she'd reacted to that accordingly. Instinctively. Now, though, she _felt_ that attraction, that desire, and it wasn't just a result of _him_ looking at _her._

Nathaniel Green was definitely _not_ a little boy anymore. In his place stood a man, and the change, the undeniably absolute realization of that, was abruptly freaking Leah the fuck out.

"Leah?"

"You've cut off all your hair!" she burst out, feeling tongue-tied and stilled confused, and vaguely wondering if his voice had been that deep when she'd first come home. The corner of Nate's mouth twitched at her blurt and he inclined his head.

"I have. Are we going?" he asked, swinging a rucksack over his shoulder and walking down the steps. Leah hurried after him, trying to think through her confusion.

"Why did you cut all your hair off?" she demanded as they rounded the house and approached a garage attached to the back. Nate clicked something in his hand and the door rumbled open.

"Don't come in, there isn't enough room. I'll pull her out. And I don't know," he shrugged, answering her question as he walked into the garage. "Just wanted to, I guess. Random impulse. Why? Don't you like it?"

_Hell yes, I do! _"No, it's not that," Leah replied, inwardly horrified at the height her voice had climbed to. She rolled her shoulders and tried to pull herself together. "It's just… different."

"Different is good." His voice was muffled by the depths of the garage, and whatever else he'd been going to say was cut off by the sound of an engine starting. Moments later, Leah got her second eyeful of his car, and this time she was able to fully appreciate it.

This time, she did drool.

The Ford Mustang Convertible looked well taken care of. The sky-blue paint shined like a new penny and the roar of the engine was a throaty, satisfying purr. The top and widows were down, the sun warming the cream interior, and Nate was in the driver's seat, head turned in her direction. Leah's eyes widened at the sight. Seeing the new him sitting in an incredibly sexy car, hands confident on the wheel, had her gut clenching unexpectedly.

Christ almighty. This was _definitely_ going to take some getting used to.

"Come on, we're wasting sunlight."

The softly spoken order made Leah move eagerly towards the Mustang. She ran her hand in a loving stroke over the seam where the paint met the upholstery before pulling the handle and opening the door, sliding into the seat with a groaning sigh. A quiet snort had her looking over at Nate, who was watching her with something akin to amusement in his eyes. Her brows rose.

"What? It's a fucking amazing car. Where did you get it from?"

And just like that, what little readable expression in his eyes was gone. "It was an eighteenth birthday present from Sam and Emily," he said and pulled out of the driveway. Leah glanced at him and frowned, the stiff set of his shoulders warning her away from following that line of conversation. She sighed and sat back, doing her best to enjoy the ride with a prickly, mute driver handling the car with ease beside her.

Her imprint was a mass of contradictions. One second he was silent and closed-off; the next he was talking to her normally. And then she says something that she doesn't realize she shouldn't have, and he closes off again. It was going to be a minefield, trying to pick her way through quality time with him, and they weren't ever going to have any type of relationship if she aimed for a path around the mines. They needed to talk, and soon; dive deeper into what they'd already brought to the surface if they were ever going to achieve their goal of being friends. She closed her eyes on another sigh. Now, if she could just get him to stop backing away when she did approach a sensitive subject…

The drive was conversation-free. Leah kept her eyes closed, not knowing how to engage him without having to resort to menial small talk about the weather. She figured that hopefully, if she gave him time, he might just open up about what was bothering him.

He'd rung her after all. No one else. _Her._

The engine shutting down had her eyes opening, and she looked around in mild surprise.

"The cliff?" she murmured, looking at the wet sand and water that was remarkably calm before eyeing Nate, who unsurprisingly didn't answer her as he got out of the car. He walked across the beach and began to wind his way up the cliff, the rucksack once again over his shoulder, and Leah quickly got out and followed him, staying a couple of feet behind to give him the space he seemed to need. He wanted to be alone and yet he'd called her. She shook her head and followed until he reached the second highest face, where she'd thought he'd stop. But no, Nate continued, up to the top.

Leah blew out a soft sigh of relief when he walked onto the cliff, but stopped a good distance away from the edge, peering out at the horizon just tinged with grey. She didn't think she could handle seeing him so close to the deadly drop.

"I guess you've been here before."

The question was snatched away by the wind that blew up and yanked at his hoodie. Leah watched Nate's back with wary eyes, still giving him space. He was all over the place. What was making him act so moody?

"Yeah, when I was a kid."

"You didn't jump with the rest of the pack before you left?"

He turned as he asked it, head cocked curiously. Leah pursed her lips and slowly shook her head.

"No. I was never welcome enough for that. As Jared said once, they didn't want my bad vibes bringing them down."

Something flashed through Nate's eyes at Leah's answer and then he turned away again, stepping further back from the edge and sitting on the ground, beside where he'd thrown the rucksack. After a moment or two of hesitation, Leah sat as well. She watched as Nate undid the rucksack and began pulling out… food?

_We're having a picnic?_ she wondered in bemusement. Oh yeah, a definite mass of contradictions, her imprint was. Nate unwrapped a sandwich, the scent indicating it was cheese and baloney, and handed it to her without saying a word. Leah took it and dug in, and for a while there was only the sound of the wind and the waves far below them as they ate.

"So," the she-wolf said finally, around bites of her sandwich, an apple and a few obviously homemade oat and raisin cookies. Her hunger had come back with a vengeance as the first whiff of the processed meat, something she caught Nate noting with approval before focusing on the distant water and his own late lunch. "You going to tell me what's on your mind?"

Nate's eyes cut from the scenery to her for a long moment. "No," he eventually answered, voice quiet and gaze steady. "No, I don't think so."

Leah frowned. "You rung me," she pointed out and little huffily.

"And you answered like I was the very last person you wanted to talk to."

Leah winced. "I didn't realize it was you!" she protested, before smiling sheepishly when a single dark eyebrow rose. "Okay, I probably would've answered that way even if I had have known who it was. I'd just woken up and I was annoyed. Sleeping all the fucking time at the moment. It's irritating."

Nate nodded and turned back to watch the water. Leah chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes on him.

"I came as soon as I figured out who it was."

He nodded again as if that was no big deal, and Leah blew out a breath in frustration. It was like getting blood from a stone.

"Okay then, next question. How'd you know my number?"

Nate's head turned. His pale eyes were piercing, the colour almost the same as the greying blue horizon out at sea. "Seth gave it to me years ago."

The she-wolf's breath caught at the statement, her mind spinning. He'd had it, that means of communication. He could've contacted her at any time. But he never had. For him to do it now… fuck, what'd happened before he'd picked up the phone and dialled her number?

"Um, okay, third question," she said in a rush, desperately needing to lighten things up a bit, for both her sake and his. He needed light at the moment she sensed, and she took a swallow of the coke he'd provided before resting it back on the scraggly, wind-buffeted grass next to her. "Are you going to let me drive that sexy piece of machinery we came here in on the way home?"

For the second time that day, Nate's mouth twitched with the beginnings of a smile, his eyes warming a touch. "No," he stated clearly, and Leah's surprised laughter was loud before it too was snatched away by the wind. Nate's smile grew a little at the sound. "Are we playing twenty questions? That's your third question in a row. You going for a fourth?"

The she-wolf hummed in consideration. _Twenty questions? Why the hell not? What better way to get to know him again, not to mention take his mind off whatever niggling at him?_

"Nuh uh, I've asked three, it's your turn now," she said lazily, lying back on her arms and stretching her legs out in front of her. She arched her head back and stared up at the sky, watching the clouds move. There was a pause from the man beside her and then he cleared his throat, the sound slightly rough.

"All right. Are you upset with Jacob about something?"

Leah stomach jolted. She turned her head to regard him with narrowed eyes. "That's a pretty big first question."

"So was yours," Nate replied calmly. They stared at each other for a tense second and then Leah turned back to contemplating the sky with a sigh. He'd been honest in admitting something was wrong, even if he hadn't told her what it was. She could do the same.

"Yeah, I am," she said softly. She saw Nate's brow crinkle at the answer out of the corner of her eye and hoped like hell his next question wouldn't be _why_ she was angry with Jake. She'd been dodging her Alpha's calls, both over a phone line and mental, since she'd left him after his confession in the forest, and she really wasn't ready to talk about it yet, especially not with the reason behind their fallout. She was just glad Jacob hadn't resorted to ordering her. Then he'd _really_ piss her off.

"Right. Next question. If you didn't recognize my number, how'd you figure out it was me?"

_Oh, that one's easy_. "Recognized your voice," Leah answered, voice still lazy, slow and mellow under the warm breeze. Once again, she caught his frown out of the corner of her eyes.

"You've had two conversations with me since you got back and you can recognize my voice on the phone from two words?"

Leah's brows winged and she lifted her head to look at him. "You're asking me that question when you already know what imprinting is like and how it affects us wolves?"

Another pause. "Fair point," he muttered, turning away from her. When it looked like he wasn't going to ask anything more, Leah nudged his shin with her toes.

"You've still got another question before it's my turn again."

It took a bit, but he eventually turned back to her. Leah felt her eyes narrow a second time at the just visible smirk in his pale gaze.

"Fine. What's your favourite colour?"

Another bark of surprised laughter burst from the she-wolf at the enquiry. "Really? You're asking me _that_?" she questioned, shaking her head in delight. "Out of everything you could've asked, you want to know what my favourite colour is?"

"Why shouldn't I want to know what it is?" Nate countered, a ghost of amusement haunting his features. "I don't know it, and isn't asking something you don't know the answer to the point of twenty questions? So what's your favourite colour?"

"Okay, okay, fine, it's light blue," Leah laughed, her eyes growing large and the sound cutting off when she realized what she'd just said. Blue? Since when had her favourite colour changed to blue? For as long as she could remember it'd always been orange – the colour of the setting sun; something unusual in the climate they lived in.

"What is it?"

The she-wolf's eyes flew over to meet her imprint's and Leah suddenly understood where the light blue had come from. _Fuck me!_

"Leah?"

"Ah, nothing, never mind, it's my turn," she said hurriedly, squeezing her eyes shut. Even after ten years, the hook the imprint had in her still surprised her. "Um, what are you studying at UDub?"

"What, you don't want to know what my favourite colour is?" Nate joked. Leah opened her eyes, took another gulp of her rapidly warming drink and shook her head.

"I already know it. What are you studying?"

"You already know… okay. I'm studying Criminal Justice."

Leah sat up, looking at him in surprise. "Really? Do you want to go into law?"

"I want to go into law enforcement," Nate answered quietly, looking at her with cautious eyes, as if afraid she'd laugh. "I want to… I want to stop bad things happening. My father- and then later- it doesn't matter, it's what I want to do. It's what I'm _going_ to do."

Leah physically ached to take his hand in hers; to wipe that wary, vulnerable look from his face that she didn't think he even knew was there; to assure him that it was his life and he could do whatever he wanted, no matter the mistakes he'd made in the past. Instead, all she did was nod slowly and smile at him, knowing he wouldn't at all appreciate her acting so familiar. She didn't think she'd be comfortable with it either. He'd rung her, yes, and they were aiming for friendship, but they did still need to take it a step at a time. Slow and steady won the race, didn't it?

"Sounds like a plan," she said lightly, leaning back again and closing her eyes. She could feel another wave of fatigue coming on. "I think you'd make a good cop. You're compassionate and you've got the impassiveness you'd need already down pat."

She lay and waited for his answer, and an eye cracked open when it didn't come. She frowned when she found him glaring at the ground, and she was about to remind him that it was his turn to ask a question when he spoke first.

"Who told you?"

The she-wolf sat up all the way at his tone. _Uh oh._ What did she do wrong? "I don't down what you mean," she replied carefully, watching him as he scrambled to his feet and took a few agitated steps back.

"Who told you?" he demanded, fists clenched angrily at his sides. "About what I did when I was younger? I suppose you know about what happened with Claire as well? How I _hurt_ her? Is that why you came back? You found out your imprint was fucked up so you decided to swoop in and save the day?"

"Nate, I-"

"Did Jacob tell you? Or Quil? Was it _Seth?_ Could they not wait to ramble on at how _ashamed_ they all are of me? How I disappointed everyone, hurt myself and very nearly got Claire killed?" He stepped backwards again, pacing away in rage, and Leah was suddenly on her feet, fear twisting her insides.

"Nate, get away from the edge."

"Did they not think; not consider my privacy at all? That I might not have wanted you to know? That you didn't have a _right_ to know? That it might have been your _fucking_ fault because you left me, you _ran,_ and I couldn't_-_"

"_Nathaniel, get away from that bloody edge right this fucking second!"_

Her high, terrified tone finally got through to him, and Nate's eyes went round, his body swaying as it registered exactly how close he was to the edge of the cliff. He teetered back and forth, arms swinging like a windmill, and Leah _flew_, darting forward and grabbing his arm in a movement so quick it was almost impossible to see. She jerked him violently forward, so that he stumbled and tripped over the rucksack, landing on his hands and knees on the rocky ground with a shocked, painful grunt. He winced as the hard surface bit into his flesh and turned to glare at his companion.

"Jesus Christ, Leah, are you deliberately trying to cause me damage... Leah? Hey now, it's okay, I wasn't that close… oh." Trembling hard, fear making her head swim, the young woman couldn't help throwing herself forward and locking her arms around her imprint's torso, burying her face again his chest. "Um. Okay. Okay, it's all right. Stop shaking now, would you? It's okay, I'm fine, nothing happened."

His voice was a buzz in her ears, and soon even that died as Nate closed his mouth, his arms eventually coming up to wrap around her in return. How long that stayed like that Leah didn't know, but it was a lengthy amount of time before her heart stopped pounding in horror in her ears, and the adrenaline in her system abated enough for the trembling to settle and for her to stop clutching at his back with tightly clawed fingers. Her breathing gradually evened out, her jaw unclenched, and her eyes fluttered open; the panic unknotting enough so that the heat from the hand rubbing her back, gentle but steady, now made her want to arch like a cat into the chest she was rather solidly pressed against.

_He has put some work into his body, hasn't he?_

The thought startled Leah enough that the position she was in finally registered and she jerked backwards. The arms holding her tightened for a very brief second, and then Leah was on her feet as they let her go. She cleared her throat and turned away from him, staring blindly out at the vast body of water, shifting against the jittery, whining wolf pacing under her skin. So much for not being overly familiar.

"We should… we should go back now I think," she muttered, voice hoarse, eyes catching the edge that he'd been so close to going over. A shudder ran through her and she hurriedly looked away. "We need to go."

Nate didn't answer. Leah took a deep breath that shook on the exhale and turned to see him cleaning up from their makeshift picnic, not looking at her. She crouched down and silently began to help him, and it wasn't long before they were making their way back down to the Mustang, neither saying a word.

The drive back to Sue's house stayed equally as silent. The she-wolf couldn't get the image of Nate's arms windmilling on the edge of the cliff out of her head. He'd been so close… she could've lost him.

He was hers and she could've lost him.

The engine died again and Leah didn't move, her gaze locked on the dashboard.

"We're here."

His voice was soft. A stiff neck only allowing her a curt nod, Leah slowly turned to the door, pushing it open. She paused just as she was getting out and turned to glance over her shoulder, to see Nate clutching the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip, his gaze fixed out the windscreen. He wouldn't look at her.

"You're right. It is my fault. Everything that's happened to you is my fault, from the initial imprinting, to me leaving, to you suffering from me leaving. And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, for everything, because it's never going to be right. There's nothing I can do to make it right. But I can tell you that what happened to you, the disappointment you feel you've caused others, Claire getting hurt trying to help you, it was all _my_ fault, not yours, so you have _no_ reason to feel ashamed and mortified and to blame yourself. None at all. Blame me because I deserve the blame. Not you. If there was any way for me to go back and stop myself from imprinting on you, I would. But I can't. So blame me, but please, _please_ don't blame yourself for something you had no control over. That you were just reacting to as any human being would."

She got out of the car and closed the door, her back straight as she walked towards the house. She paused mid-stride when he quietly spoke her name.

"I wouldn't want you to go back and undo the imprinting."

The Mustang started and then he was gone, leaving Leah spinning around to stare after him in shock. He _didn't _want that? How could he _not_ want that? Why was he saying something completely different to what he'd shouted at her earlier? It'd been clear from his rant that he _didn't _want the imprint and all the trouble and heartache it brought him, that he felt guilty and blamed himself when he should be blaming her, so why was he saying-

Her thoughts clamoured to a sudden halt when the wolf snarled loudly in her head, her senses abruptly screaming. Leah whipped around, a vicious growl rumbling through her chest and escaping out of her mouth as she sprang to the side, just in time to avoid the hulking body and the large, meaty fist coming directly at her face.

* * *

**A/N - I apologize for the amount of time it took to get this chapter out. The only excuse I have is laziness, which isn't actually an excuse at all. I will endeavor to stop procrastinating so much in the future and get all you lovely readers an update in a timely manner.  
On a cheerier note, anyone wanting to know what Nate looks like? Yes? Then google Wentworth Miller, my friends, because that is how I've always imagined a grownup Nate. Even when he had longer hair, though I can see him better now. ;) Enjoyed the chapter, or didn't, or just don't agree with my vision of Nate? Then tell me, people! Let me know what you think! **


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